This post might get into more theology than you'd like - just fair warning! But I think you'll find it interesting, and perhaps it might help you through your own dark valleys...

When Connor was injured two summers ago, we were thrown topsy turvy. Yes, we were followers of Christ, and had a spiritual foundation in Him. But we weren't very good at it, to be honest. Our family - spiritually, emotionally, and physically - should have probably been declared a federal disaster area.

We grabbed on and clung to the only sure thing we knew - God. We held on to Him like a drowning man clings to a rock in a storm (which is probably why that's a common imagery for His provision in times of trouble!). During that time, we often asked how this disaster could have happened to us, and we found comfort in the thought that "...God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28, NASB).

But for whatever reason, this often brought up an interesting debate - did God cause Connor's accident, or did He allow it to happen? Some folks seem more comfortable with the idea that God lets bad things happen in our lives, than with the concept of Him making bad things happen in our lives. What about you?

We found a lot of comfort knowing that even this disaster wasn't out of God's control. I thought to myself that the idea of God having to allow things into my life was far more terrifying than the idea that a sovereign God caused these events in Connor's life for His purpose. Others argued that a loving God wouldn't do that to His children. I knew what I believed, I just couldn't show it in the Bible.

Until yesterday. Then in Isaiah 45:4-7, I found the terrifying words that were a balm to my soul -

For the sake of my servant Jacob,

and Israel my chosen,

I call you by your name,

I name you, though you do not know me.

I am the LORD, and there is no other,

besides me there is no God;

I equip you, though you do not know me,

that people may know, from the rising of the sun

and from the west, that there is none besides me;

I am the LORD, and there is no other.

Now look at verse seven.

I form light and create darkness,

I make well-being and create calamity,

I am the LORD, who does all these things.

He creates calamity. Not "allows". Not "can't stop". "Creates".

Which means that, above all doubt, Connor's accident was anything but an accident. It was, and remains, an integral part of a plan God is manifesting in and through us, for the purpose of declaring that there is no name above His, no god beside Him, no salvation apart from Jesus Christ. Yes, my heart grieves that my son is in this place. Yet there is comfort to be found knowing that there is a willful and intent purpose for this trial.

Don't forget Romans 8:28 above - this is done for good. Even if I can't see it, that's true. The analogy I used when discussing this the other day was the concept of a mother who will cause her child to hurt for a moment in order for the baby to receive an inoculation. A momentary stab of pain to achieve a desired result - in this case, immunity from some disease. No one would argue that the pain a baby goes through when receiving the shot isn't worth the benefit of not getting polio. And yet we holler like a stuck pig when anything we perceive as "bad" happens to us. Isn't it time for us to stop crying about the shot?

Connor and the family have been (to use a word from Connor's vocabulary) chillaxin' all week. That means a combination of "relaxing" and "just hanging around with your friends". So, a fairly quiet week. Connor has been having some difficulties with his chest at night, but it's been manageable. I don't think it's anything out of the ordinary, as all the rest of us have been having the same sort of symptoms each night as well. We're watching it...

Today, Joélle, Alan and Connor are going to hang out together so that Cherié and I can get away for the day. We're very grateful to them and are looking forward to some time alone! It doesn't happen all that often, so we're going to take advantage of it!

Finally, I'll end with a request - please please continue to lift Connor up for healing. This morning is one of those days where events combine to drive you past your breaking point. We truly need His strength to carry on, and we desperately wait for this trial to end. Thank you that in the midst of your own hustle and bustle and life concerns, you haven't forgotten this young man.

I apologize for not posting for so long (again) - I've been out of town this weekend, and so am just getting back into the grind this AM. I was invited to tag along with a friend to help while he and a couple other controllers ran the tower for the Lake Tahoe airshow. That was a pretty cool thing, not only because of all the cool airplanes and hot jets, but also because of something that happened while I was there (which I will tell you about in a bit). While I was away, Connor, Cherié and Granny, along with Joélle and Alan, had a great time running around - going shopping, taking drives up in the hills, trekking out to Monterey and Santa Cruz - generally just enjoying each other's company. Cherié tells me that they were really blessed with quiet nights and healthy days all weekend, which, as an answer to prayer, makes me really appreciate those of you who continue to lift Connor and our family up.

I'm reasonably confident I can tell y'all this story, since the fellow involved has already posted it in the Chatterbox, so here goes...

While I was up in Tahoe, one of the people I met was a fellow named Michael. In the course of our conversation (planes, air traffic control, airports, etc.), we found common viewpoints on a number of things, and at the end of the discussion I dug in my wallet for my business card - only to discover that I didn't have any. All I had were my ConnorWatch cards, so I handed him one of those, explaining that I didn't have any of my FAA cards. He commented on the card, and I briefly explained our situation to him. While I spoke, Michael got visibly more engaged in my words, the way you can tell someone's got something they want to say. Sure enough, he was ready to tell me his story - that 25 years ago he broke his back in an accident. He wound up paralyzed from the waist down, with all the experts telling him he would never walk again.

Nine months later he walked out of the hospital.

Here was a man, standing in the restaurant talking with me, that you and I would never - and I mean never - have suspected had been paralyzed. He's now a pilot and businessman, and he really wanted me to tell Connor not to listen to folks who tell him he'll never recover. I was really blessed to hear his story and his encouragement. I also really appreciate him stopping by here to share his encouragement with Connor directly. Thanks, Michael, for sharing your story with me! It was a pleasure and encouragement to meet you.

I also had the opportunity this weekend to speak boldly to others of my belief that our prayers will be answered and Connor will be restored, and to talk about why I believe that. So that was pretty cool, too. I can't wait to see it!

Have a blessed day!

Eric/Connor's Dad

Allow me to apologize for not writing sooner - I've accidentally lost my post twice now in the last two days, so I'm gonna try again...

Can you believe it's only been 800 days? Please refer to my previous posting...

This past weekend was quiet. We managed to get out and visit a local church that has been very supportive of Connor since his accident. It was great seeing everyone - Connor in particular really enjoyed seeing the many friends he has there.

Since many of you receive this blog through email, I want to draw your attention to something here at the website. I added a thread to the Forum this week in the "Opportunities to Serve" category entitled "Petaluma, CA SCI". It's the story of another young man who ran into Lake Tahoe last week, did a shallow dive, and in an accident strikingly similar to Connor's is now paralyzed from the chest down. He is currently in ICU in Reno, but they hope to bring him closer to home soon. Please read the story, and if you live near Reno, Petaluma, or Vallejo please reach out to this family. I've already attempted to contact the church that is organizing meals for the family in Petaluma, but haven't heard back from them yet. If/when I hear something I can pass along, I'll post it up here. Please - step out and be the hands and feet of Christ to this family. Trust me, they need it.

Speaking of hands and feet of Christ, I would ask you to also be praying for Jerry McAllister as well. We've been praying and supporting his family since his motorcycle accident in January 2009. He is experiencing some serious health issues, and has been in and out of hospital repeatedly over the last months. If you live nearby, please reach out to these folks. You can read more about his situation at http://followingjerry.blogspot.com .

My friend Donna asked via the Chatterbox if we had any updates concerning Connor's symptoms not lining up with the diagnosis. The short answer is no. We haven't heard back for the doctor yet in that regard - I've asked Joélle to follow up with that this week. Hopefully that ball will be rolling faster soon!

Also, I was asked for my thoughts on The Shack, the novel by William Young. I've heard some of the hubbub about the book, and I read it last year. It is a work of fiction, which is why I don't have the outraged concern some people seem to have regarding the book. I've heard people call it heresy, and I've heard people call it the best understanding of God they've ever had. Here's what I think - since it's fiction, read it as fiction. If it helps you have a more accurate picture of God, great! Just don't get your theology of God from it (or any other book except the Bible). God's word tells us what He is like - and that's what you compare the things you read to. To be honest, I really enjoyed reading The Shack. I have had an inaccurate picture of God all my life - one that mirrors in many ways the lead character's view of God in the book. So being shown a different way to see Him is beneficial to me. I know the book isn't Scripture. But I also know that men can point to truth just like they can point to error. So I would take The Shack for what it is - a work of fiction that has some insight into the nature of God. Then I would take what I read and compare it to what the Bible says, and on any subject that the book and the Bible didn't agree, I'd believe the Bible. But if a man, writing a fictional tale, can help me better grasp how God really loves me (of which I am in desperate need), then praise the Lord for that man.

Does The Shack compare to some of the pillars of Christian fiction, like C. S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters"? I don't know. But I know that I learn from these authors, and what I learn can bring me closer to a true understanding of God's revealed nature. That's not a bad thing.

Enough of that - I don't mean for this to be a book review! Maybe I should start another blog...

Thank you for taking the time to read these words. Thank you for your prayers, your words of encouragement, your faith and your support. And thank you for traveling with us for 800 days. God bless.

Eric/Connor's Dad

Have you ever sat in a waiting room? Of course you have. Not much fun, right? When I was a kid, sitting in a doctor's waiting room was at least somewhat bearable because there were always old copies of National Geographic lying around, or you could find an edition of Highlights and do the Hidden Picture puzzles. Nowadays, all you can find in a doctor's office is the free industry "magazines" that are really just 100-page advertisements disguised as something you'd actually pay attention to. The other thing I've found in doctors' offices is that rack with 75 copies of the prenatal/family planning magazine, which can be found in every doctor's office in America - even the ones that aren't pediatricians. I'm not sure why doctors want you to be so miserable by the time you actually do get in to see them, but that certainly seems to be the intent.

All that has hardly anything to do with what I started to write about.

I spent some time in a waiting room this past week, and I noticed something about myself. After I checked in, I sat down and checked my email on my iPhone. Then I checked my Facebook account, quite content to get something done while I waited. Once I got done with that, however, I started getting a bit bored. So I grabbed my current crossword puzzle and set to work - for about five minutes. Pretty soon I was nodding off with my head against the wall (I tend to do that a lot these days), so I got up and paced for a bit (incidentally making the other people in the room really uncomfortable and making them look at me and wonder what sort of communicable disease I had)(not really - it was a podiatrist's office. They might have wondered if I had some sort of nasty fungus or something)(I don't). Anyway, I digress. I spent about 25 minutes killing time in that office, and during that time I ranged from contentment to boredom to frustration to drowsiness to frustration again, then over to boredom, etc. etc. etc.. You get the idea. Finally, after some eternal sort of timeless existence that only seems to happen in doctor's offices, I got called in to see the medico, and went on my way.

793 days in a waiting room, waiting for The Healer to see us, so to speak. Every conceivable emotion, mood, and/or feeling has come to us except the one we want the most - wild exuberance as we celebrate Connor's restoration and praise God for it. Every nuance of despair, every touch of contentment, every flavor of frustration has been ours as we sit in this waiting place.

You know, sometimes when I'm in a doctor's office, and I'm starting to wonder why it's taking so long, I'll turn to Cherié and ask her to go check with the staff to see what's taking so long, and if we're going to get in soon.

Do you guys think you could do that for me? Go ask what's the holdup? Maybe lift up the boy more than usual? Today, this patient is feeling a bit impatient. I'll wait as long as I have to, but I'd sure like us to get out of this room.

Eric/Connor's Dad

It's been a fairly slow week - not a whole lot going on in the household. Last night Cherié was taken to the Giants game by a friend - they left in the early afternoon and went into San Francisco, goofed off, had dinner and what not before they went to the game (where they obviously didn't cheer loud enough because we lost!). They had a great time, and Cherié got some well-deserved downtime. Connor and I, consequently, were able to spend an entire afternoon and evening getting caught up with our recorded motorcycle races, eating fast food and otherwise being bachelors for a day. We had a good time of too, except for all those moments when this old man dozed off and Connor had to wake me back up!

Other than that, it's been quiet. We are, however, looking forward to Monday, when Granny (Cherié's mom) arrives from Spokane for a two-week visit. It will be great to have her here - she's such a help and encouragement to Cherié - and the kids have been talking of how much fun they'll have while she's here. I have to be out of town for a couple of nights toward the end of the month and she's going to cover for me while I'm gone. So we used that as an excuse to make a real visit out of it, and Granny's coming down for two weeks!

Not much else to report - like I said, a quiet week. But thank you for your continued prayer and support. We love you!

Eric/Connor's Dad