Day 626 - March 3 - Responses

OK. I've apparently stirred up the hornet's nest with my last post, at least for some. That's OK - I appreciate anybody who has a concern for us and for the boy, even when they think we disagree about something. The fact is, I am grateful for anyone who cares enough to lift us before the Throne of Grace. So I am going to try to respond in an intelligible way to some of the criticism offered up in the comments of the last post.

But first, a word from our sponsors, sort of...

There are readers of this blog who have been with us since my brother Brad turned it on at about Day 3, and there are readers who have joined us after that at various times, so I need to go back and remind everyone about one thing.

I write this blog, offering up a window into not only my soul and feelings, but also into this journey my family is on. I try to be as open and honest about what we're going through as I possibly can, because I believe God has called me to do that here. And every single person who reads this knows that my name is Eric Williamson, and that I live in Morgan Hill California in the USA. If my bosses were curious, they could come here and read this stuff and get a good glimpse into my soul. I stand here with my innermost heart bared to anyone who reads it, and the only thing I ask in return is that, when you offer comments to the community by clicking the comment button, that you give us the honor of your name. It doesn't have to be your full name - it doesn't even have to be your real name. But I object strongly to potshots taken at me and mine while the writer hides safely behind their wall of anonymity. And I say this - if you as a commenter don't feel strongly enough about your opinion to put your name on it, why do you think I, or anyone else, will find any value in it? By sniping at us from hiding, as it were, you take away any impact your words might have had. Here's why - if someone offers me encouragement anonymously, I shrug my shoulders and say "well that's nice". And if you offer criticism to me with your name attached, I'll consider your viewpoint and see if it has truth and value - this blog is full of instances where I said "you know, you're right - I need to do better at that". But if I get offered criticism from behind the veil of secrecy, I categorically reject it because the author's actions say that they are unsure enough about their opinion to not want to put their name on it, or they want to rampage without being accountable for their statements. And that's not conducive to the community we want to be here. Whether you're a believer, or not, or Protestant or Catholic or Hindu or Buddhist or an atheist, or white or black or brown or green or purple, none of that matters - this WILL be a community where anybody is free to take part in this discourse, in a civil and loving manner.

So, all that being said, I will say this in response to our anonymous commenter's implication that I suffer from the "evil heresy of spiritual pride" because we haven't pursued any and all potential cures and treatments - I'm a prideful man. Subjecting my will to God's is often a struggle of, well, biblical proportions. I am often blinded by my own desires and intentions. And I pray often that I would not be so, that I would instead be able and willing to be submissive to Christ's leading. That's actually part of why we're where we are right now - I'm desperately trying to do what God has for us with Connor and his treatment - and (for the record) that includes spending money on anything that shows promise. Connor has the best SCI doctor on the west coast as his personal physician of record, even though she is not covered by my insurance. We have fought and maintained the battle to have him provided with the equipment he needs, rather than settle for the stuff the insurance companies want to give us. If I find out about treatments which hold real promise for Connor, we'll try to figure out how to pay for it. But just so you know, when we were looking at places for Connor to receive treatment back in 2008, one of the costs to be considered was transport. We looked at moving to Seattle so Connor could be at a hospital up there, and the cost of the flight for him was going to be about $40,000. Which the insurance company wouldn't pay, by the way, since Valley is 25 miles from our home. So, we stayed here, because the difference in care between the two was negligible.

If Connor can have real benefit from something somewhere, I am confident that my God will provide to get him there. But as I examine options, nothing has shown the promise of improvement that makes bankrupting my family worth the cost. There's a clinic in India that's doing some extraordinary things, if their reports are to be believed. It will cost us over $100,000 to get Connor there for ONE treatment series, and he would need three or four to see any - ANY - improvement. So we could sell the house - oh, no, wait - no equity in it anymore because of the housing market - well, I guess we could tap our savings - oh, that's right, we don't have $400,000. Hmmm, anybody got a cool half million lying around we could have? So we could spend it on a treatment with no guarantee of success of any improvement whatsoever? Any takers?

You see, it's not that we wouldn't do whatever we could to see Connor restored - it's that man's work at curing SCI has little if any possibility of standing him back up. But God, who created the boy in the first place, needs only to stretch out His hand and say "your faith has made you well. Rise up and walk" and Connor will pop up out of that chair so fast OUR heads will spin! He may choose to do that through a medical treatment somewhere, and we continue to pray that He would guide us in the right steps, and that we'd have the strength to follow. But until He leads off, we're gonna do what He's told us to do.

Wait.

And pray. And seek His leading. And wait some more until He says otherwise.

If that's heretical, then call me a heretic.

Eric.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page