Day 533 - November 30 - Back to it

Well, today the holiday week ends for us, with Joélle and Alan heading back to Chicago and me heading back to work (half day after I drop the kids at the airport). The routine looms in front of us, but we have had a great week of visiting and celebrating together, as I'm sure y'all have had with your families. We went out and chopped down our Christmas tree on Saturday, and managed to get it decorated as well. Connor kept the festivities moving along by donning a pair of rainbow-prism glasses, which make every point of light turn into a prismatic rainbow, and his exclamations and laughter had us all smiling and giggling, and helped the labor along.


We topped off the week by visiting the Monterey Bay Aquarium with the kids and one of Connor's friends -


We actually did have a great time, although this really poor photo from my phone makes it look like we're one hour into a two-hour lecture on the benefits of flossing. You'd think watching otters frolic two feet away from you would elicit more smiles, but that's actually what this group of sourpusses was doing! It was hilarious to watch them laughing and cutting up right up until the camera showed up, and then suddenly it's all seriousness! Goofballs...

So, it was a wonderful time with family and friends, just like Thanksgiving is supposed to be. We trust your week went as well.

Please be praying for us this week. I would ask that you would focus your prayers specifically in a couple of areas this week. First, as always, I would ask you to get on your knees and lift the boy up specifically for his full restoration - that he would be restored to complete feeling, movement, and control of his entire body. And when you pray, do so boldly, as sons and daughters of the living King, not as beggars - with confidence, believing that you've already received it (as Jesus once said). Secondly, I'd ask you to pray for our faith - that God would be real to us and that we would have confidence in who He is and what He's promised. And third (OK, I know I said "a couple", but give a guy a break!), I would ask you to pray for spiritual protection - not only for us, but for those who are praying for us and for Connor's healing as well. We have noticed an increase in spiritual attacks recently, and we believe that the Holy Spirit is moving in and around our situation, so please be praying for protection from these attacks, and boldness to face them in the power of Christ.

Continue to watch with us - God is moving.

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Day 531 - November 28 - Thanksgiving Week Day 7

The last day of our exercise, and "S" is the theme. I read something yesterday that gave me great hope and served as a reminder to me, and it's perfect for closing up this week's theme, so today, I'm thankful for "Spurgeon". As in Charles Spurgeon, the 19th-century preacher. I've been reading one of his devotionals, and yesterday's reading was exactly what I needed to hear.

So, I'm just going to copy it. Here it is, courtesy of Charles Spurgeon from "Daily Help" -

Success is certain when the Lord has promised it. Although you may have pleaded month after month without evidence of answer, it is not possible that the Lord should be deaf when his people are earnest in a matter which concerns His glory. Delayed answers often set the heart searching itself, and so lead to contrition and spiritual reformation. Reader, do not fall into the sin of unbelief, but continue in prayer and watching. Plead the precious blood with unceasing importunity, and it shall be with you according to your desire.

Amen and amen. Preach it, Chuck.

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Day 530 - November 27 - Thanksgiving Week Day 6

OK, it's Friday. "F" is the theme. Although, since according to the media it's "Black Friday", extra credit will be given if you can give us two-word items for which you are thankful, and the words start with "B" and "F".

Wow, I feel like a 2nd grade teacher. I should decorate the bulletin boards or something!

Oh, and I just thought up the "Black Friday" thing this minute, so I don't have one. Y'all run with it...

Here's what I'm thankful for today that starts with "F", and yes, it's obvious and doesn't require a lot of thought - family.

I'm thankful for my wife, who God uses to keep this household from coming apart at the seams.

I'm thankful for my son, who is always challenging me to be better than I am.

I'm thankful for my daughter, who's joy and calm assurance has kept me sane more than once in the last 18 months.

I'm thankful for my brothers, who encourage and challenge me, and who help at the drop of a hat.

I'm thankful for my sister, who's understanding and incredible example of perseverance continually raises the bar.

I'm thankful for my parents, who model grace under pressure, perseverance in the face of struggle, and confident faith as they wait for Connor's healing.

I'm thankful for my in-laws, who provide such a great support for Cherié.

I'm thankful for my new son-in-law, who is such a great match for my precious daughter.

I'm thankful for my extended family, and for my extended spiritual family (that's y'all, in case you didn't know) who at various times and in various ways encourage, challenge, and lift us up, and who consistently pray for Connor's restoration, believing that we've received it.

Thanks, Lord, for all these people who are such incredible blessings in my life. Hear their prayers, Lord.

Hear their prayers.

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Day 529 - November 26 - Thanksgiving Day

Since we already did "T" the other day, I'm giving out extra credit if the things for which you are thankful begin with "Th" this time. Anybody that gives us a word that starts with "Th" gets a million extra points.

Of course, I've already thought this out, so I've got one picked out... 8-)

I'm thankful for thirst.

Why, you might ask? Well, let me tell you. Our need for God's intervention in our lives over the last year and a half is not some "Well, yeah, I guess I could use a drink" kind of thirst. Instead, it is the "hauling your half-dead, dessicated carcass through the Sahara desert in the noonday sun for a week after having eaten 37 bags of off-brand potato chips, 3 tins of anchovies, and that bag of theater popcorn that the top of the salt shaker came off over while you were going to add just a dash of salt to it but ended up dumping a sand dune's worth on instead because some teenaged prankster thought it would be a funny trick to play on the next person to use the salt" kind of thirst. I mean thirsty thirsty thirsty kind of thirst. The kind where any liquid at all would be the nectar of the gods if you could just have a drink. The kind that makes you long for Him as the deer panteth for the water.

That's the kind of thirst this adventure has inspired in us, and what it's done is to drive us into a frenzy of scrambling to find that oasis in the midst of the torment, and so we are madly pursuing God in ways we've never done before. And while on one hand we would rather not, on the other hand I'm thankful that this thirst for God's touch has generated such growth in us. So, yes, I'm thankful for our thirst.

Can you imagine what this would be like if we weren't thirsty for Him?

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Day 528 - November 25 - Thanksgiving Week Day 4

Wednesday. "W".

Yesterday was harder, but today is easy. I'm thankful for the Wright Brothers.

"Wright Brothers"? Did he say the "Wright Brothers"?

Yep. I'm thankful for the two men who first achieved sustained, powered flight. The two of them are directly responsible for the fact that my daughter Joélle and her husband were able to arrive safely from Chicago last night to spend the week with us over Thanksgiving. I've spent this morning listening to the bursts of laughter from Joélle and Connor as they get to spend time together again for the first time since June.

So, yes, I'm thankful for the Wright Brothers!

Now you...

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Day 527 - November 24 - Thanksgiving Week Day 3

Well, I apologize for not posting sooner - full days this week. Today being Tuesday, and Tuesdays being the day that the garbage men come by our home, I probably ought to be thankful for the Trash Men!

And I am, but blogging about what I'm thankful for today has actually been a bit of a struggle for me. You see, I was praying the other day about knowing Christ more and better - I know Him better than I did two years ago, but I don't know Him enough. And so I was praying about that, and it's apparent what brought me closer to Him - I've grown closer to Him because of this crisis with Connor.

So I was (if you can imagine this) thanking God for the Trials in my life, because they've brought me to Him.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for drawing me closer to You through this trial. Would that I would have the courage to pray for more.

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Day 526 - November 23 - Thanksgiving Week Day 2

Monday. Just for the record, y'all came up with some good "S" words to be thankful for! Now it's Monday, so that means "M" -

I'm thankful for movement. Thankful that I can move, thankful that we occasionally see small movement in Connor, thankful that God moves in and through us.

Movement.

Your turn.

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Day 525 - November 22 - Thanksgiving Week Day 1

So far, a good weekend with Brad visiting. We've begun to hammer out some ideas that will be helping to get the boy more control over his environment, although right now it's mostly conceptual. It will take a bit to turn these ideas into reality, but we're making some steps in that direction. Speaking of which, it would only be fitting to give a shout out to our friend Joey Dalla, who has been helping us in the fabrication department, turning our ideas into a reality. His first solution, which is a fully adjustable arm to give Connor access to his iPhone, works very well; and Connor is completely jazzed about finally being able to explore some of the phone's features himself. Thanks, Joey!

Also, a quick kudo to Mike and the guys down at Predators Archery in Gilroy, who not only spent a bunch of time helping Brad and I think through some possible solutions for a problem we're trying to solve, but leant us a fairly expensive micro-scale overnight in order to do some measurements of Connor's abilities - no questions asked, no names taken or phone number jotted down - just "here, this will measure how much force he can apply - take it home and bring it back tomorrow". Their insight and helpfulness has given us new ideas to pursue in solving particular problems, and we're very thankful. Thanks, guys!

I would also be remiss if I didn't thank Brad for helping think these things through. He taught me yesterday that I don't have to be able to create a solution, but rather just think about who might have something that is already created that could be used for the problem we're trying to address. That's how we ended up at an archery shop even though the thing we're trying to do has nothing to do with archery. So thanks, bro, for your insight and ability to reason. I'll be borrowing it more often now that I know it's there!

OK, it's the beginning of the week in which we Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. For those of you who might be from other cultures and who don't have an understanding of Thanksgiving, it's a day when we consider the things for which we're thankful and then, well, give thanks for them. As seems obvious to me, it was originally a spiritual exercise - how can you give thanks unless you're giving them to Someone - and began well before the USA became a nation with the first European settlers to the continent. Nowadays, it's usually just an excuse to sit around, watch football, and eat inordinate amounts of food. But many of us, myself included, try to adhere to what I perceive was the original intent - to focus our thoughts on the provision and blessing of God on us as individuals, and as a people.

So, in that vein, I'm hereby setting up an exercise for us this week. Each day, I'm going to offer up one thing for which I am thankful. We'll go from now through Saturday, and I would like everyone who reads it to comment back with one thing they, personally are thankful for. The rule is that the thing you are thankful for has to begin with the letter that starts the day of the week we're on. For example, Monday's thankfulness thing has to start with "M", Wednesday's with "W", etc..

Clear? As mud, probably, but here goes...

Today is Sunday, so what am I thankful for that begins with "S"? That's an easy one - siblings. Brad, for being able to provide reason and objectivity to situations in which I keep getting tangled. Melissa, for understanding how to live in the now, day after day, and for trying to teach me how to do it without trying to teach me. Kent, for being passionate, and honest, and always good for a laugh or two. I love all three of you.

Now your turn - for what do you give thanks (that begins with "S")? Let's hear it...

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Day 523 - November 20 - Brad's Back!

Today, Connor's uncle Brad arrived from Michigan! He's here to help us figure out some technical and mechanical things that will help Connor have a bit more independence and control over his environment. We're looking forward to both a few days of visit, as well as working through some of the concepts and difficulties together.

Please be praying for us this weekend, as I'm sure there will be some tough discussions about how Connor wants to proceed, and how best to help him do that. It will probably be easy for us to get frustrated with discussions and the work they'll entail, so we appreciate your prayers as we go along.

Thanks for staying faithful.

E.

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Day 521 - November 18 - A Weary Land

I saw an episode of "Top Gear" the other day that gave me an image I just can't seem to shake. For those who might not know, Top Gear is a British television show about automobiles, and is arguably some of the most entertaining TV on the planet right now. There are three hosts, and their understated British humor makes the show something like Monty Python meets SpeedVision. Connor, Cherié and I can just laugh and laugh at the antics and commentary of these three British men. Anyway, the episode we watched the other day had the three of them in the middle of Africa somewhere, and they were trying to drive three old cars across the largest salt flats in the world. The camera showed them standing on this endlessly vast white plain, with nothing visible as far as your eye could see. No life, no plants, no water, no animals - just salt. The commentary was basically "If you get lost, you'll die. If you get stuck, you'll die. If you run out of water, you'll die. If you break down, and can't fix the car, you'll die."

So they stood there, looking across this seemingly endless and barren hellhole, with the sun beating mercilessly on them, faced with the prospect of crossing it alone.

And that's the image I can't get out of my mind.

A weary land.

Nothing but dust, and heat, with miring mud just under the surface, and a pinch of salt added to help keep you thirsty.

Sounds like life, to me.

Which should, for those of you who might not understand, explain why I write so much about Jesus, and trying to know Him. One of my favorite hymns is "A Shelter in the Time of Storm", and I think my favorite line in that hymn is this -

"Jesus is a Rock in a weary land", and if you've never really understood what a weary land feels like, you might not know how desperately you need a Rock when you're in one.

So we praise God for being that for us in this time and place. Amen? Amen.

Connor had some tests done on Monday at the hospital, and we would appreciate your prayers - some complications are arising from his condition that need to be resolved. Minor at this time, I suspect, but still just another thing piled on top of the all the other difficulties he faces. Additionally, there's something wrong with Connor's cat. She's been sick for the last two days, and it's weighing on the boy. He dearly loves his cat - she brings him such joy - and so there's a lot of pent up concern about her right now. Please be praying that God would provide for him in this area.

Finally, like I am always doing, I'll remind you again to continue to pray, believing, for Connor's complete restoration. I pray every day for you - that God would make Himself real to you and strengthen your faith, that you might pray with power. Trust Him - He never changes.

E.

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Day 518 - November 15 - A Better Weekend

Your prayers have been so welcome, and Connor's O2 problem hasn't been plaguing him so much for the last couple of days. Friday he and his mom had a good day while I was at work, mostly just the routine day around the house. The boy did have a great visit with a friend he knew for a number of years at church, and who has been a missionary in Cambodia recently. They stay in touch electronically, but he and his family came by for a couple of hours to visit and get caught back up. I'm told the time was full of laughter and encouragement (I was at work so I missed it), and we all were really appreciative that they took the time to come by to visit.

Saturday was spent pretty much curled up on the couch, at least figuratively. A fire in the fireplace, Michael Bublé on the stereo, and some quiet family time together all combined to make it a peaceful and relaxing day. The boy did have some difficulty sleeping last night, but he's resting quietly right now.

So that's all the news that's fit to tell, I guess. We sure do covet and appreciate your prayers - thank you for staying so closely attuned to Connor and his needs.

God bless you,

E.

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Day 516 - November 13 - More Special

So, briefly, did you give any thought at all to the idea that you're royalty? Because the amazing truth is not just that we're royal, but that we, as believers, are heirs of God. Not just some little baron or duchess or something, but heirs. That means we inherit His kingdom. Which means it's ours.

OK, but so what, right? I mean, what's that got to do with Connor? What possible difference does it make to Connor that he, or you, or I, are heirs of God? Why this long babbling tirade about being something special to God, something worthy of inheritance?

Well, I thought you'd never ask!

The reason is this -

If you, and I, and Connor are heirs of God, then it stands to reason that you, I, and Connor are significantly special to God. If that's true, then you, I, and Connor have special standing in the eyes of God, by virtue of our inheritance. Now, the recipient of an inheritance has a binding claim to the property s/he is going to inherit, giving them a sort of ownership of the inheritance which gives them the right to act in a certain way. Do you follow me? If you inherit something, you own it, and you act that way. Even if your inheritance is in the future, it still gives you a certain standing in regard to the inheritance.

You're not a visitor anymore. You're an owner.

And so you can stride into the place you've inherited in confidence rather than fear.

So, what I'm getting at is that you, I, and Connor, if we're followers of Christ Jesus, have the authority to be bold in God's throne room. We can be forthright when we speak to God about our needs and desires. We can be, dare I say it, "fervent" in our prayer.

Because we are, like the old Southern Baptist hymn says, "joint heirs with Jesus".

Assuming you've ever purchased a house, do you remember that sense of ownership and pride that came once all the papers were signed on your first house? Do you remember going out front and walking across the street, just to turn around and look at the place? That's ownership. And that's what I'm talking about when I talk about how you approach God - not as a beggar, but as an heir, an owner, a treasured child.

You are inheriting the place - I just want you, when you're praying, to act like it.

Enough of that - now to the real news.

Connor has again begun struggling with his O2 saturation - his lungs seem to be struggling to move his oxygen. We had a good last few days, especially Wednesday, when I took the day off and the three of us drove out along the coast for a change of view. We had a great dinner at a little seafood restaurant down in Moss Landing, and then came on home, and we all enjoyed the change and the time together. All that was good, but over the last few days he's begun developing that difficulty in staying saturated again. Please be praying for him, especially at night. I don't know if it's a cold, or bronchitis or pneumonia, or what; all I know is that he needs to be able to breathe correctly.

Please be lifting him up for that.

Also, please remember Cherié in all this. She is getting tireder and tireder (yes, I know that's not a word!), and needs your support.

We really appreciate it, y'all.

E.

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Day 515 - November 12 - Something Special

I've been reading the Book of the Acts of the Apostles (that's "Acts" if you use the vernacular title) recently, because I want to see what kinds of things people who were unarguably human did when they were filled with the Holy Spirit. You'd be amazed at some of the things these guys did, so I suggest you go read it again and check it out. In the meantime, I have been pondering something about myself, something which I suspect affects each of us to some degree or another, and I found an interesting observation into it in the Book of Acts. This, by the way, doesn't have much to do with Connor's situation except obliquely, but bear with me...

The thing I think we all deal with at one time or another is self-image, to use the current psycho-mumbojumbo. I'm talking about how we perceive ourselves, and I've been thinking about it particularly in light of how we approach God in prayer. I told you last time that I wanted us to be more fervent in our prayer life, and how I want to be earnest and fervent in prayer rather than locked into "meaningless repetition", as Jesus called it in Matthew 6:7.

But how often do we feel unworthy to bring our requests before God? Yeah, we all know how we're supposed to "approach the Throne of Grace with confidence", and all that, but really - do you ever feel like you're not going to be heard because of who you really are way down deep? I do sometimes, that's for sure. And what I'm really saying in my heart when I feel that way is "I'm not worthy enough for You to listen to me".

Now, as far as that goes, it's actually correct; I'm not worthy to be in the presence of God - except for that one teensy-tiny detail; that Jesus' cleansing blood, spilled on the cross for us, makes us worthy to be there. But knowing something is true, and acting on that truth are two different things. You, with all your baggage, have direct access to the presence of God on His throne - but we feel too dirty and common to use that access. Imagine, if you will, that you are a beggar on the streets, a homeless bum, your ragged clothing covered in dirt, lice, and fleas, and you are told that you now have unfettered access to the ear of the King. Not just to one of His lackeys; you can go into His throne room and talk directly with Him, and He'll listen to you. Just as you are. Wouldn't you feel just a bit uncomfortable because of your dirtiness?

Now take it a step further - what if you're a reasonably well-to-do merchant who's told the same thing? While your reaction might not be as severe as the beggar, you would still reasonably be nervous about approaching this Person who reigns over all of your life and livelihood, wouldn't you? I think you would, and the British can tell you why - it's because the King is "royal", and you're just a "commoner". There's a gap between the two of you.

So now, back to prayer. If my analogy holds up, then the reason we feel like we do when we're praying can be chalked up in the simple concept that God is massively royal, while we're massively common. And that makes us just a bit uncomfortable, follow me?

OK, so that brings me back to the Book of Acts. I know most of you are familiar with the story of Peter's dream, where the sheet comes down from heaven with all the animals in it and God tells Peter to kill and eat, right? That's in Acts 10, if you're interested. Peter doesn't want to eat from the animals because he's never touched anything that's unclean, remember? And you know the outcome - God ends up convincing Peter through that dream that he is to begin reaching out to the Gentiles - you know the story.

But here's the interesting thing for the day - when God overrides Peter's objections, look at the words He uses, out of Acts 10:15 -

"What God has made clean, do not call common."

I don't know about you, but I always saw that in reference to eating food, or that God was kinda saying "Yeah they're Gentiles, but they're special to Me because I say they're special to Me, so go to them". I have never seen that verse for what it says - that what God has cleansed isn't common anymore, so don't call it that.

Wait a second - didn't God cleanse us with Christ's blood? Haven't believers been "washed in the blood of the Lamb"? But that would mean...

...that we aren't common anymore?

And that would mean...

...we're...

...royalty?

I think it's time to let that sit and sink in for a bit.

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Day 513 - November 10 - Status Update

I was looking back through some of the posts I've made here over the last few months, and I don't remember if I ever gave y'all an update on a request I made back in September. I had made a request for someone with some design and fabrication skills to help with getting Connor a few things that we can't seem to find anywhere.

Well, in case I didn't ever tell you, a friend of ours stepped up and has been very busy doing some fabrication to help solve one of Connor's accessibility problems. I'll make sure to tell you about it once it's complete, but I wanted to let you know that some progress is being made in at least one area to help make Connor's life just a bit easier. Thanks for the help, Joey! We can't wait to see it in action!

As for the boy himself, well, we can't wait to see him back in action either! He's been having a rough few days again - it seems he's got another chest cold or something - once again he's having difficulty with staying saturated with oxygen.

You know, the Bible says that the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man is a powerful thing. Read James 5:13-18. Do you ever think of your prayers as "working", as in "The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working"? Most of the time we tend to think of our prayers floating up to God somewhere like the smoke of incense or something, but that's not what the Bible tells us they do. It tells us that they're working. As in "getting something done". As in "digging in their heels and finishing the job".

Now here's the word picture for the day - I tinker around a little bit with my motorcycles, and I can do some of the routine maintenance like changing tires and oil and stuff like that. I use tools for that, like wrenches and sockets and screwdrivers and such. Now, most of the time, when I want to say, take off a tire, I'll put a wrench on the axle nut and turn it. But every once in a while, for whatever reason, the nut won't turn easily. So the first thing I do is set my body and shoulder and try to turn the nut with more force. In other words, I try more fervently. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. Now when it still won't turn, I've got a thing called a cheater bar, which is just a six-foot-long piece of pipe that will fit over the handle of my socket wrench. The extra length gives me the leverage necessary to turn the nut and remove the wheel. But it's the image of "trying harder" that I want to capture here, because it conveys the idea of fervency very well. There's a moment in that struggle where every muscle I can bring to bear is straining against that nut. Every fiber of my thought is focused on that nut. The concentration and effort are so great that I've busted a sweat trying to get stuff like that done.

That's "fervent".

Do you pray like that for Connor? Do I? Do our prayers for him qualify as "fervent" prayers? Honestly, most of the time I think the answer is "no". It's hard to maintain that level of effort. But it stands to reason that greater needs require greater effort, just like that axle nut sometimes needs more oomph behind the wrench to start turning. And I think that sometimes our fervency gets lost in the day-to-day job of getting things done. So I want to go back to that. I want to go back to anguished petition to my Lord for my son's healing. I want you to do that with me.

It says in Acts 12 that when Peter was imprisoned by Herod, "earnest prayer" was being lifted up by the church for him. And an angel showed up and rescued him. But the interesting part, to me, is that Herod had arrested Peter and then held him for a week or more, right up until the last night before Peter was to be delivered up to the Jews, before the angel appeared. The church was praying earnestly for Peter the whole time, but it wasn't until the last night that Peter was released.

Don't give up on Connor's healing. The time is apparently not ripe, but it's coming. Continue to lift the boy up fervently with me.

It availeth much.

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Day 511 - November 8 - Halloween

OK, it's not Halloween, but my "Halloween blog" just arrived in my head this morning, so you're gonna get it today. I don't think I can effectively hold onto it for another 51 weeks!

I think a lot about how I approach God. You see, deep inside, I'm as manipulative and conniving as the next guy, and because I am a member of a fallen race, I have a tendency to try to figure out stuff in a way that gets me what I want. Don't be too surprised; I suspect you'll have to admit that you're often the same way. It's OK - it's all part of the "old man" from whom we're relying on Christ to separate us. So I can be honest and say that unless I catch myself, I usually fall back into this mode of trying to figure out the "right" way to do something in order to get what I want (as opposed to doing something in a way that pleases God as an end in itself). See, that's where Christ and I are different - He didn't quit wanting things per se; He just went about it all in a way that pleased God. I'm not quite there yet (Eric said, in the understatement of the year).

So, I think a lot about how I approach God (as if I could sneak up on Him and steal away with Connor's healing without Him noticing!). Pretty silly when you put it like that, eh? You see, my biggest problem in everything I do is my attitude. If whatever it is that's going on fits with my personal idea of how things should be, then all is good. But look out if it doesn't - then, in actions reminiscent of the world's tallest spoiled two-year-old, I make sure you know how I feel. The facial expressions, the body language, the smart-aleck comments, all point to the fact that I'm not a happy camper inside. Oh, yeah - I also justify those actions by saying that I don't want to be dishonest with people about how I feel. Pretty pathetic, but also still true.

Now, things in our life aren't exactly going as I'd like them to. Another big understatement. And my biggest struggle in this situation is how to respond to it. I want to throw a temper tantrum and cry out to the world "This sucks! You have no idea how bad this sucks!". But you already know how bad it sucks - I don't need to keep telling you. I don't want to acknowledge that God put us in this place, and (because of that alone) we should be rejoicing to be used by Him in any way at all. I don't want to do that. I'd rather be miserable. Aren't humans weird? I can't figure out why God made us this way...

Anyway, what's all this got to do with Halloween? Well, I don't know about your house, but at our house each year we have a couple of different styles of trick-or-treaters that come by on that evening. The first group is the one I love - all these kids, between the ages of two and, oh, about 10 or 12, who come scrambling to the door dressed in this vast panoply of costume and make-believe. And as soon as I open the door, they shout out "TRICKORTREAT" in those wonderful piping kids' voices, with bags and plastic pails shaped like pumpkins thrust out in front of them. I love those kids - every fiber of their being is focused, for just a second or two, on this momentary act of petition to me. And I love - and let me repeat that - I LOVE - to jam my hand into my candy bowl and ladle out big heaping handfuls of treats to these kids. It's just so fun to engage them for that moment or two, when they're absolutely caught up in that moment of asking, that it's impossible for me not to love them and give them what they so obviously want.

And then there's the other group.

This group is comprised of mostly 12 to 18-year-olds, although there may be younger ones occasionally as well. This crowd is usually dressed in their normal street attire - sweatshirts and jeans, for the most part - and they travel in packs from door to door. Upon my opening the door, a few of them will mumble something that might, in the most generous sense, be "trick or treat", but which might also be mistaken fo a softly muttered "gimme all your candy, or else!". The others just gaze sullenly at a point somewhere around my knees, holding out pillowcases in which to gather all the ill-gained fruits of their blackmail attempts. You see, when I open the door to juveniles like these, I don't feel happy, or pleased to hand out candy - I feel like I"m being strong-armed at my own front door to give them what they want or risk their retribution. So I give them a token candy sampling, not out of love, but out of fear that they'll go slash my tires if I don't.

Now, which group would you rather entertain? Which group's attitude (there's that word again) effectively makes you want to give them anything you can? Right - the first one. And which one's attitude makes you want to say "Look, you losers - get a costume, put a little spirit into it, THEN come see me about some candy!"? Bingo - the second one, of course. And if this little life lesson from my front door has any applicability, in a cosmic sense, to my approach to God, then why in the world do I insist on trying to show God how unhappy I am with His plan?

How do you approach God? With joy and confidence because you KNOW that He delights to give good things? Or as a sullen beggar who is just hoping for a handout? If you know Him, then quit acting like you don't. Approach the Throne of Grace (interesting name, huh? That's worth a blog right there, all by itself) - approach the Throne of GRACE with confidence (Hebrews 4:16), as befits a child of the King. Because He satisfies His children with good things (Psalm 103:5).

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Day 508 - November 5 - Wishing I Felt Like It

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."

That's Romans 8:37. I've always loved that imagery - MORE than conquerors. As if somehow, strutting through the streets of the vanquished enemy's capitol with your sword over your shoulder and looking forward to reaping the benefits of your victory just isn't quite good enough. No, being a conqueror doesn't quite cut it - we're more than conquerors through Christ. What a great word picture!

But - despite the fact that the language is in the present tense, and despite the fact that I know the statement to be true on a spiritual level, I would hesitate to use the words to describe me, in this situation. I'm not some valiant man who is confidently striding off the field of battle with a swagger in his step as he surveys the wreckage of his enemies - instead I'm being beaten and harassed around the field, struggling to even stay in the fight while surrounded by a nightmare of foes, while the adversary whispers that if I'll just quit fighting and put up my sword, it will all be over.

Which is also undoubtedly true - the fight would be over if I would just quit - but it would not only be a loss, but also a dismal betrayal of the Master I serve and those who have fought alongside me. I guess that's what keeps a soldier fighting against overwhelming odds, even though all his squad has been overrun and destroyed and he's all alone. That must be the thing that drives a man to refuse to surrender in the face of an implacable enemy - the knowledge that he can't let his leader and his fellow soldiers down, and the will to choose to not do so.

And that is what is helping me keep my focus here - I don't feel like a conqueror because I'm in the middle of the fight. You never feel like you've won while you're battling - even when the fight is obviously going your way, you still know you have to finish the struggle before you can stop and enjoy the win. The Yankees couldn't be reveling in their victory today if they'd stopped playing the game in the sixth inning, you know? So is it any wonder we don't feel like we've vanquished this foe?

And I guess that's my point today - each of us is facing something that overwhelms us, that throws us into deep water. Some are facing things that can, and often do, bring to a close this earthly chapter of existence. But it's not really a question of whether we survive intact to climb out into the sunshine, blinking, and realize that the battle is won. No, it's really a question of how we choose to fight, and how long we choose to fight. I'd like to be seen as a man who didn't shirk from the hard things in his life, who stood firm for his Master. Even in the face of this.

I hope y'all saw Cherié's post on the previous thread - Connor and she are both doing much better since the other day, and we truly appreciate your prayers. They've been having tough nights lately, and Cherié in particular is really, really tired. Please be lifting her up for rest. I try to spell her for a few hours before I go to work, but it's not enough, and she's exhausted. And it gets worse for her when Connor's having difficulties all night and she's up and down trying to help, so please keep them both in your prayers for rest, and refreshment, and encouragement.

We love y'all.

E.

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Day 506 - November 3 - Nausea

A quick request for prayer for you who care for the boy - we were unable to make Connor's appointment Monday because he's been very nauseous since early yesterday morning. We don't know what's causing it, but he, and we, are concerned about getting him up and leaving the house. We rescheduled the appointment for a couple of weeks from now, but he remains nauseous and unwell. He has been awake multiple times through the night, and Cherié as well. She's not feeling too good either, so I've sent her upstairs to get a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep while I mind the shop downstairs before heading for work.

Please be praying for both Connor and Cherié, that whatever this is would pass quickly and that they would be able to rest and recuperate today. Pray also for their spirits - both of them are down, and the lack of sleep isn't helping. Pray that they would somehow be ministered to today.

Thank you,

E.

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Day 505 - November 2 - Music Soothes the Savage Breast

Or so William Congreve once said. It's odd how that quote is so often misquoted as "soothes the savage beast", as if you could stop a rampaging grizzly bear from eating out your innards if you could just loan him your iPod! No, the savagery here lies inside us, not in the animal world, and Mr. C. was right - music does help calm us when we're in turmoil inside.

I was driving home from work last week, and as is often the case, my soul was tormented. I was feeling lonely and abandoned, so I did what I often do when that happens - I flipped on the radio and started cycling through my iPod, trying to find that one "perfect song" that God was going to use to minister to me. I couldn't find anything that calmed my spirit, so I was going to turn on K-LOVE (a Christian radio station) when I got to thinking - my Dad commuted 90 miles each way to White Sands Missile Range for a while when I was a kid; when he was feeling like I was feeling, what did he do to help? I mean, assuming that he even had a radio in his car in the 60s and 70's, there were still no Christian radio stations out in the desert of West Texas. He might have had a tape player, but there were certainly no CDs or iPods around. And that caused me to wonder what my grandfather would have done back in the 30s or 40s or 50s when he was feeling the way I was - and what about the generation before that, or (for that matter) the guys who lived in, say 287 AD? They had no way, when feeling oppressed by their circumstances, to flip a switch and have a pre-recorded musical interlude sweep in and make it all feel better - so what did they do?

That got me to thinking about my response to music in general. Stay with me here - it's a bit convoluted, but I actually do have a point. So I was thinking about how I use music in my life, and it began to dawn on me that nearly all of my response to God through music is as a spectator. I listen to some music that's uplifting or causes me to focus on God on the radio, or on my iPod, and if I even think seriously about the words, it's only for the duration of the song. On the radio in particular, you're immediately swept off to either a different song with a different focus, or you get to "interact" with the DJs as they banter about their next cruise to the Bahamas or something. At home, if I've got music playing, it's primarily background noise - I seldom give it any real attention. Even in church, when I sing along with the worship band, I am really just mouthing words that someone else decided would go good with the sermon today. Sure, I can pay attention to the words we're singing, and mean them; and once in a while the words will even move me spiritually. But for the most part, I do worship music as a spectator (or at best a passive follower). And I don't think that's how I'm supposed to worship. I also suspect that if you think about it, you'll conclude that you probably do the same thing. Am I right?

So, what did I do about it? Well, I don't really know what my grandfather would have done in a situation like this, but I imagine he had two of the same things that I have - a connection to the Living God, and a vast repertoire of spiritual music stuck in my head from years and years at church. So as I drove home, I turned off the radio, then I prayed out loud to God, telling Him that I thought He was worthy of more than just my mouth moving while I sang to the latest pre-recorded hit single from somebody about whom I know nothing. And I prayed that even though it wasn't peppy or modern or even on-key, that God would find my - MY - offering of worship to be pleasing to Him. And I asked Him to help me remember the right words to the right songs that would be most pleasing to Him, and then opened my mouth and began to sing. "Holy, Holy, Holy". "Wonderful Grace of Jesus". "How Great Thou Art". "And He Walks With Me". "There Rings a Melody". I just sang, and sang, and sang, and one song led to another, and to another, and to another. It was pretty cool - at the end of every song, there was another one in my head to sing. I didn't wrack my brain to come up with another one. I just sang.

And do you know what? I communed with God. And by the time I got home and the last creaky note died away inside the car, I wasn't oppressed anymore. I didn't feel abandoned anymore. I knew that I had been, for a few non-spectatorial moments, truly worshipping all by myself. No fancy guitar licks. No rockin' lyrics. Nobody else to carry the musical load and cover up my bad notes. Just a man and His God being of like mind. Wow.

So, I'm going to turn the radio off more often. Maybe there's something to that whole "be still and know that I am God" thing, after all!

Connor has to go get some ultrasounds done this afternoon. It's mostly routine for this situation - they need to make sure that all the things inside are still the way they're supposed to be, as folks who suffer from paralysis often have difficulties with many of their innards. So they do this every year or so just to identify any changes that might arise. For Connor, I'd ask you to be praying that the visit would go smoothly, particularly that the technicians would be able to get the necessary views without needing to get Connor out of his chair; and that the results would be normal - not "normal for people in this situation", which is often very different from "normal for you and me", but rather normal as in "properly functioning without flaw". Pray too for Cherié, as she will be getting him out the door by herself today. Pray for their safety, and please, please, please, continue to pray for his restoration. It's coming, and we can't wait!

Oh, and while you're at it, spend a bit of time in solitary worship with your God. He likes it.

E.

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