Day 352 - June 3 - If I only had a brain
OK, I have one, I just often wish I had a different one than I've got. I am reminded again how pathetic I am at remembering stuff - I find myself over and over again in a place where I am in despair (again) at our circumstances, and wondering (again) even if God even exists, and God in some fashion reminds me (again) that He's there and in control. The latest version of this repetitive tale has been playing out over the last week or so. I have found myself sinking further into depression - my time in the Scripture seems dry and empty, my prayer life seems to be hollow, like my voice echoing in an empty cavern, my relationship with my wife and kids seems impossible to maintain, with bickering and arguing and frustration abounding. I sat yesterday morning in prayer and just poured out my seemingly never-ending doubt, and of course there were no trumpets and fanfare announcing God's interest in the things in my life. Then, yesterday when I check my email, I got a note from one of those internet "friends I haven't met yet" - a fellow I "know" from a motorcycle forum. He just had a short note of encouragement for me, and attached a song with it. He described it as having wanted to send something over to me, but all he had was "this song that was playing today" and so he hoped it would prove helpful. Well, the only way I can describe it was "absolutely the thing I needed to hear right then". Thank you, Scott, for being willing to be led by the Spirit's prompting even in such a small thing, because it wasn't small to me.
Connor has been having a good week with his sister, Alan, and their friends amidst all the hubbub of the wedding prep. Despite some mechanical issues with some of the equipment, he's been traipsing around town with them in a fashion remarkably free of his parents. This is something we're thankful for, and also a bit nervous about. Still and all, it's a big step for him.
Joélle and Alan seem to be ready to get hitched. Alan's family arrived last evening and we had a great time putting faces to names. They are about as fantastic as you might expect of the family responsible for raising the young man who won my daughter's heart! We're looking forward to spending the next few days getting to know them a bit better.
Today marks the beginning of the full-court press towards the wedding on Friday. Today is all preparation for the meet-and-greet open house tonight. Tomorrow, of course, is the rehearsal, and then it's down the home stretch to Friday night. We have some concern about rain for Friday and it's impact on the outdoor wedding they've planned, so If y'all could endeavor to persuade God to push this low pressure system out of the way, we'd be very appreciative!
Also, an item for prayer about Connor's health. He's developed a small area of breakdown on the skin on his leg, which can develop into serious complications if it's not checked. Right now it's very small and not as bad as it could be, but we need to make sure it doesn't get any worse, so your prayers are appreciated in that area.
We really, really appreciate all of you intervening on our behalf. Thank you so much!
Eric
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posted by Eric Williamson @ 9:00 AM
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7 Comments:
Hi Williamsons! Best of luck for a fantastic wedding. My fingers will be crossed for no rain and that the day goes off as beautiful as y'all have imagined it. It's another change in your life, some seetness and sorrow in this one I'm sure - but still a beautiful thing. I'm really glad to hear Connor is able to get out with his friends and without you. I'm sure that time is important to him too. I'm sure it is very scary for you, and yet something that needs to happen...for you...and especially Connor. Best wishes for a wonderful wedding Joelle and Alan; Connor - always look forward to hearing not only how you are doing but what you are doing; and Tex and Cherie - I miss you! Thinking of you always (and I REALLY do!) :o). Lisa S.
Hi Eric,
I'm actually driving down to L.A. tomorrow for another wedding, so will have lots of great prayer time in the car. You and all the Williamsons are on my list.
We are and will continue to pray!
I'm just praying that it will be a beautiful day in every possible way. My wedding day started out clear and lovely, then turned sprinkly in the afternoon. We were married indoors, so it didn't matter as much, but all I remember is that it really was the happiest day of my life-until my children were born-and it will be for Joelle and Alan as well.
Michele
Hi Eric,I just wanted you to know that your family is an inspiration. Connor has the hardest job of all adjusting to his current physical limitations and I say current because nothing makes it a permanent status. From what I read on your blog Conner has his ups and downs but for the most part has shown miraculous strength and determination. I don't know your wife but from your writing I get a sense that she is doing an amazing job caring for Connor.
Eric I sense from your last couple posts that your struggling, I just wanted to give you some assurance. Your devotion to your family and to your God is inspirational. Sometimes in life when we are feeling disappointed it may be that the expectations we set for ourselves are too high. Nobody is the perfect father, perfect husband, perfect Christian, perfect employee all rolled up in one all the time. Everybody has faults, everybody has days they question God, or feel disappointed in the hand that was dealt. These are all normal feelings, what you have to keep site of is you are doing the very best you can with the current circumstances. God understands and knows us better then we know our selves. So what if we question in a moment of dispair "Are you there God?", we're human, we're weak, God understands that, He doesn't love us any less because of it. I appreciate your honesty and just wanted to say there is so much going on with your family it's OK to get overwhelmed don't beat yourself up. Take a breath and know this to shall pass. Do what you can and let the rest go.
You are blessed...
Katie Mac
Dear Williamsons--we are certainly thinking and praying for you as this special day has arrived! Eric--you sound like you are responding to just one more thing in your life just as all of us would, except that most of us haven't had to deal with so many changes in the past year as you and Cherie have--to say nothing of Connor & Joelle' b/c I don't want to downplay things from their perspective. I know God is there right alongside of you all and pray for His continued strength. May He bless you richly.
Hey Eric,
You probably won't be checking this today, but I thought I'd send my good wishes and prayers anyway. I have found times of transition are always hard and cause depression for me, even something as seemingly simple as the end of a school year. You have a much bigger transition ahead, one filled with varying emotions. It is what it is, and it will pass, and you will get through it. And one of my favorite verses ever:...for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust--Psalm 103:14.
Blessings to you on this wonderful wedding day!
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