Day 262 - March 3 - Apologetics 101

When I was at Moody Bible Institute back in the day, I took a class called "Apologetics". Apologetics is not the art of apology, although they share the same Greek root word. The Greek root word means "to make a defense", and the Apostle Paul used it to describe making a defense of the faith. I never dreamed that one day I'd be doing so in a forum like this.

Before I get started, though, some housekeeping. For those of you who don't read the comments attached to the postings on the blog, you missed a doozy yesterday! Some questions were posed to me after my last post, "Scale of Faith", and with good intentions many folks leapt to my defense. After reading over all the comments again, I would say that this is a small example of how the church often works - imperfectly.

One of my pet peeves in this forum is the use of anonymous postings. I feel they diminish our sense of community, and also open up the door for hidden sniping - the saying of things one would never say to someone face to face. I do not place the first Anonymous poster's comments (hereafter referred to as "A1") in this category - I think the poster had a good heart when he/she asked their questions, and that's how I continue to view it. You can see from reading these comments, however, how confusing it gets when even a few people choose not to use their names, and I've mentioned before how I feel about comments directed to me from behind that veil - I stand here in the open, in front of the entire world and lay out my thoughts, pains, feelings - and all I ask in return is the honor of your name. That being said, after witnessing how people jump quickly to denounce contrarian opinions, I can understand why people choose to stay anonymous. I don't think it helps our community, but I understand the motivation. That being said, ConnorWatch WILL become a place where everyone is welcome to openly discuss varying perspectives without name-calling or ostracizing. We WILL - end of discussion. The petty sniping and nitpicking common inside the walls of so many churches that name the Name of Christ will NOT take place here - we WILL endeavor to be like Christ, instead of to be good Christians. I'll be glad to discuss the implications of that statement in the future, if you like.

OK, over and done. All that's behind us now. So let me get to the meat of my feeble thought process this morning - my faith. A1 posted three pertinent questions to me, and I want to answer them personally. Each of them has a very clear and simple answer that requires explanation if they're going to mean anything, so here goes -

Question 1 - Is your faith dependent on the expectation of Connor's full physical restoration?

In a word, No. I don't look at Connor and think "I know God is going to heal him"; I look at Connor and think "I know that God is true to His Word". What word? Well, I believe that the Bible is the living breath of God, the ever-breathed Word of God into the hearts of man. It's alive, it's active, and it moves our souls. And all of it is true. Including the few parts I would quote in answer to this question - Mark 11:20-24. Luke 18: 1-8. Matthew 8:5-13. Hebrews 13:8. I believe that God spoke these words into existence, and continues to speak them, because they are true; because they represent an essential part of God's nature; and because He wants us to understand and live them. So if He says "Ask, believing that you have received it, and it will be done", He means it. Not just 2000 years ago - now. He is true to His Word.

Now I realize that this generates a follow-on question - why then isn't Connor up and walking yet? I think that answer is two-fold - 1) I/we haven't yet grown faith as big as a mustard seed; and 2) God's not done - He's got greater things in store in this process. Please don't misunderstand me - I don't say that Connor's healing is contingent on my faith. But I do believe with all the conviction I own that God has called me to this journey for this purpose - I'm supposed to plumb the depths of faith.

So I believe God will be true to His word. Sometimes, being a fallen, sinful wretch, I have doubts, or wander, or fall away - but my actions don't make God's word any less true - He is, and will be, faithful to His word.

So to recap question 1, No - my faith is not dependent on the expectation of Connor's full physical restoration. But I continue to hope and believe that it will happen as God demonstrates His faithful exercise of His own Word.

Question 2 - Eric, can you share where Connor is on your Williamson scale of faith (or share more specifically about what his spiritual journey has been and where he's at now)?

Sort of. I can't speak specifically about Connor's state of faith without violating his confidence, but I can tell you a few things that have happened over the course of the last few months -

When he first began to get some movement in his hands, Connor told us one morning "I was awake all night wrestling with God and praying, and I have to tell you this - I'm supposed to tell you that God has given me this movement so that we won't dwell on this situation, but know that God has stuff to do outside of me before I'm healed". That seems to show that Connor has a confident hope in his restoration. He also speaks regularly about "signposts" placed in his path to show him he's in a progression of healing. Just a quick example of what he means - we visited another church the other day to say "thank you" for the support they've given to us, and there was a youth pastor there who visits that particular church once every two years or so. When he saw Connor, he walked up to him and told him how he was a walking quadriplegic, who had been in Connor's place and had been healed. He said "We were both meant to be here today to run into each other, so I can tell you not to give up hope". That's what Connor means by "signposts", and the fact that he is seeing these things for what they are is indicative of his state of mind.

I hope that is sufficient - that's about as detailed in this area as I'm comfortable going.

Now, three cups of coffee and an hour and ten minutes later, I'm almost finished. I apologize for the lengthy nature of this post!

Question 3 (paraphrased) - Are you limiting Connor's growth and ministry by your dogged insistence that he walk again?

Sorry, I couldn't think of a way to try to capture all the nuance in your last question, but that mostly captures the gist of it. And the answer is "no" again - anyone who watches us for even a brief time gets the understanding very quickly that Connor is free to say pretty much anything he wants, and he does! Seriously, he and I have fairly regular discussions about the ramifications of this situation and what God is doing in and through it, and I don't believe Connor feels limited. His heart's desire is to somehow serve God, and he really really wants to have his music back to do that. We aren't fortune tellers - we don't know what the future holds for Connor in terms of ministry - but we are confident that God has very great plans for the boy. And we are confident that somehow that will include his restoration.

Wow, that was long. Enough is enough! I expect we'll be back for more on this topic, but I'm gonna go get ready for work. Two hours at the computer first thing in the morning has given me a crick in the neck!

Further reading on my musings on Faith, for those interested:

ConnorWatch: Day 60 - August 14 - My Atrophied Faith - Part 1
ConnorWatch: Day 77 - August 31 - My Atrophied Faith - Part 2
ConnorWatch: Day 118 - October 11 - My Atrophied Faith Part 3

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