Day 252 - February 21 - Something Good

Today, Connor called me into his room where he was working on his computer. He said "Dad, come read something for me", so I came in and leaned over him and his computer, where he had the words of a poem or song up on the screen. I started to read and Connor said "No, read it out loud". So I did. I would suggest that you do the same as you read the words - it's pretty powerful that way -

"Wait" by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

That was sent to the boy by a friend of his today, and he was visibly moved by it. I thought it was significant enough to share with y'all.

So tonight, as we were getting Connor ready for bed, Cherié and he decided to practice trying to breathe without his vent. We do this every once in a while without a lot of success, and the ventilator looks more and more like an anchor every day. So tonight Cherié disconnected the ventilator from Connor's trach tube, and covered the trach with her thumb so Connor would only be able to breathe through his mouth and nose.

And I watched Connor's chest rise a little. And fall a little. Cherié was encouraging Connor to breathe, and I watched his chest rise and fall again. Cherié asked him if he was OK, and Connor said "Yep". Then his eyes got really big and he said "I'm talking!" And his chest rose and fell.

Not a lot, but he was drawing his own breath! He breathed on his own like that for over a minute, grinning like the Cheshire cat and saying "I gotta call Joélle, I gotta call Joélle"!

He's not free of the vent yet - he desaturated fairly quickly, but this is a start. We immediately went into prayer together in thanks to God for this step, and Cherié was jumping and skipping like a schoolgirl as she called her parents to tell them the news (Mom and Dad W., it happened after midnight your time - I'll call tomorrow!).

From the things I've heard and read over the last few days, many of you were moved by the previous post and went to your knees on behalf of the boy over this specific thing, and God sees fit to hear and move. So first, please remember to go back and praise Him for His goodness and thank Him for this. And second, please continue to pray, and to notch up your prayer that Connor would be freed from the vent and be able to sing again.

Y'all are such a help and a blessing to us. Thank You, Lord, for surrounding us with this great cloud of witnesses.

Eric

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