Day 168 - November 29 - Feelings...

We had a good Thanksgiving celebration with our friends, with only minor glitches along the way. But we were able to make it for over seven hours at our friends' home, and we learned some more about what we should bring with us when we go out. In a touching and pretty significant gesture, our friends built and installed a ramp up the front entryway stairs to their new house so that Connor could come in the front door. That meant a whole lot to all of us, and Connor had a great time visiting with them all day. All in all, we held up our end of the American tradition of eating a lot, watching football, and hanging out with friends and family.

Yesterday and today have been pretty quiet, hanging out at home and watching movies. One high point of the weekend, however, happened last night. As we were getting the boy ready for bed last evening, he suddenly asked me to turn off the fan (he has a small fan next to his bed that he likes to have blowing on his face at night). I turned it off and he got real silent for a few minutes, until I asked him what was up. In response, he asked me to turn the fan back on again. I did so, and he said "I can feel the wind blowing on my arm"! Needless to say, that was pretty exciting! So we experimented a bit, and he felt the wind all over his left arm, repeatedly.

I don't know what it means, because he wasn't able to feel us touching his arm; but he could feel the wind - he did it over and over. I suspect there might be a temperature issue involved there, but who really knows beside God?

Still and all, I'll take every step of progress he makes, big or small. I am pleased that he is beginning to feel something again, and it encourages me (and I hope, you) to continue my prayer for his restoration.

Please also be praying for us, that we would remain constant in our faith. Like the guy in the Bible, I often find myself praying for God to help me in my unbelief. I crave the conviction of absolute faith.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 166 - November 27 - Thanksgiving morning

I was just taking a look at the map of member visits, and I (like I always am) was again astonished by the number of visits that ConnorWatch has received from people outside of the US. I get really excited when new places show up on the map, and so I hop over there regularly to see who's logging on from where. As I was looking at it this morning, I realized that I'm sitting here looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving, and yet many of you may have only a sketchy idea of why Americans do such a thing. What I mean is this - I have a vague idea of what Guy Fawkes Day or Boxing Day is, but since we don't celebrate those holidays here in the States, I'm not really familiar with them. I suspect if you've never celebrated Thanksgiving before, you'd feel the same, so I thought I'd throw in some quick background for all of us.

Without trying to sort out fact from myth, and without making any claim to historical accuracy, here's the general idea - back in 1621 or so, a bunch of folks came from England to settle in what is now Massachusetts. Not knowing much about surviving in the wild frontier, these people nearly starved to death during the first year, but with the help of some of the local people managed to secure their foothold and survive. At some point, legend has it, the colonists and the natives had a great big feast, giving thanks to God for their provision and for seeing them secure in their new homes.

This basic story is taught in American schools across the country, and has resulted in what I consider to be the best holiday out there - Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving Day in America has developed into a tradition of people gathering around copious amounts of food (including but not limited to turkey, ham, stuffing, potatoes, yams and/or sweet potatoes, all sorts of vegetables, gallons of gravy, cranberry sauce, and the traditional pumpkin pies ) to be with family and friends and to remember what God has done for us. OK, I suspect many in America don't actually do the "remember what God has done for us" part - they're just in it for the football and the day off of work - but that's basically what the holiday is about; thanking God for His blessing. And the cool thing about it is that no one has successfully turned Thanksgiving into another consumerism free-for-all like Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc. - so you can actually experience the holiday for what it was intended for - giving thanks to God for His watchcare over us.

So, here goes - I would love to hear what y'all are thanking God for this year. If you're an American with plenty of experience in this Thanksgiving Day exercise, I have one rule for you - you have to actually think about it, not just trot out the usual "I'm thankful for my health" or whatever. You know what I'm talking about, too, so don't pretend otherwise! As for the rest of the ConnorWatch family, anything goes. No rules for you!

So I'll start it off with a couple of things I thank God for each day. First, I thank God for giving me such an abundance of close quality time with my son, Connor. Our relationship has grown so much closer than it was before, and I appreciate it very much. Second, I thank God that there are hundreds and thousands of people who are lifting Connor up for healing. I believe that each of you are instrumental in the process Connor and our family is going through, and that this family of people that has grown together around my son is something God has intended for a purpose, and so I give thanks to Him for gathering each of you around us as He has.

Now, I'd like to hear two things you're thankful for. Let's hear 'em!

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 164 - November 25 - Thanksgiving is coming

Thanksgiving is the day after tomorrow, and I've been giving it a lot of thought. We had the opportunity to share Thanksgiving with some very dear friends from New Zealand a couple of years ago, and it gave us a fresh look at an old holiday. There's nothing like seeing our odd American traditions through the eyes of folks who have never celebrated the holiday in their life!

That year we cited the things that we were thankful for, and for the most part it was the run-of-the-mill Thanksgiving things - health, and family, and good friends, and the like. Needless to say, this year I won't be able to fall back on the usual list of gratitudinal recipients, as it were.

I suspect I'm not the only one who feels this way. What with the state of the economy, the housing, banking, credit and employment issues, and a general sense of despair for civilization, many people around the globe are faced this season with less than rosy prospects. Folks are losing their jobs, many have lost their savings or their homes, and 30 seconds spent watching the news is enough to get all of us to call our doctors for anti-depressants.

So what then should we be thankful for this year? Well, I can't answer that question for you, but I can tell you some things that might help. ..

First - God is good. Jesus says so in Mark 10:18, but you already know this by your own experience, don't you? So since you already know that God is good, the first thing you need to do is to start believing it.

Second - God loves you. And just like you enjoy surprising your loved ones with good things to show you love them, so God delights to do good for His children. In fact, His word says that He works ALL things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Even layoffs. Even bear markets. Even broken necks. Again, you know this. Now is the time to start actually believing it.

Third - God is faithful. The Bible says He is faithful to complete the work He has begun in you. So that means that whatever you're facing - whether it's no job, or dismal sales prospects, or having to put off retirement, or even a broken neck - is happening in your life because God is working to make you more the man or woman He wants you to be. One that's conformed to the image of Christ. And He is faithful to complete it. And once again, you know this. You just need to remember to believe it.

Fourth - God wants you to bring your concerns to Him. Do you understand how big that is? We're talking about the Being who created the universe; every star, every planet, every asteroid, and everything on every one of those things - and then set it all into a magnificent ballet of existence; and He did it by breathing it into existence! He didn't even have to work at it; He just exhaled! And that Being is actually interested in you, and me, and in our lives to the tiniest detail!!! And He wants you to come to Him for help, and guidance, and provision. Wow. And again, you already know this - but do you really believe it's true?

So this Thanksgiving, we're going to have some different things to thank God for. What about you?

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 162 - November 23 - 0430

0430. I wake up to the sound of alarms through the monitor. Cherié beats me to the boy's bedside. Unlike most nights, however, when I get there this time Connor is wide awake and greets me with a smile. Not the usual occurrence in the middle of the night, I can assure you! The alarms are dealt with, and as we get things together, he lets us know he's been lying awake for an hour, thinking. He mouths to us (his trach cuff is closed at night so he can breathe better as he sleeps, which means he can't speak) "I've got a bunch to tell you". I ask him to wait until the morning when he has his voice back, and he agrees.

Fast forward a few hours and Connor's in good spirits as he tells us about what he was thinking last night. He recounts how he really feels that God has given him movement in his thumb and hand to help us be content "until all the stuff happens that has to happen before I'm fixed". I questioned him fairly hard about this, and he is quite clear when he says that there are things that have to happen, apart from Connor himself, before he is restored. He says all this so matter-of-fact-ly that I ask for clarification - it sounds to me like Connor is completely sure of his restoration in this life. Connor's response to my question? "Yep".

He demonstrates his confidence in God next, when he tells us what he's decided about the tattoos he has been planning. Connor has had some ideas about tattoos for some time before his accident, and since then he's decided that he still wants them, but he'll just move them to someplace on his body where he can see them. This morning, he told me "I've decided to put the tattoos in the places I originally thought about, because I'm going to get better and so I don't need to move them to somewhere I can see them".

I really give thanks to God for my son's faith. I pray that I can have even a small portion of that faith for my own. This morning, Connor brought strength to Cherié and I when we needed it, and it was such a blessing.

Oh, I almost forgot! While we were getting the boy ready this morning, he moved his entire hand! It rotated at the wrist about an inch - so much that I ran like lightning (OK, it was more like "I ran like molasses") up the stairs to grab the camera and get a video. I've got to figure out how to let y'all see these things!

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 160 - November 21 - Tough days

Joélle is safely in Chicago, and Cherié, Connor and I are just kind of chillin' together here at the house. Yesterday was a pretty rough day - after a night at work and about an hour of sleep in the morning, we spent the first half of the day arguing with the hospital, trying to get them to give us an appointment to have his trach replaced. This is a procedure that needs to be done once a month, and as I'm sure you remember, it's been a month since Connor came home. The hospital told us they would schedule the procedure when we left the hospital, but we've been calling them for a week now since they never got back to us about it. We finally found out that they only do the trach changes on one day each month, and yesterday was that day. We were getting frantic to get him scheduled in, because the hospital personnel didn't want to give us an appointment until January 16th! We went round and round with them, me getting more and more frustrated until I was treating the nurse pretty shabbily. We finally ended up getting an appointment in the afternoon, so then we began the frantic preparations to get there on time. Just as we were running out the door to load up the van, a friend stopped by for a visit. In my anxiety to get out the door, I also spoke very rudely to her as well.

I ended up having to apologize to the nurse when I saw her at the hospital, and this is my formal public apology to my friend Melissa - I'm sorry to have treated you so shabbily when you were trying to make us feel better and help us out. It was a pathetic example of how I should have behaved toward you - please forgive me.

Our day didn't get much better after that - Connor's wheelchair broke when we got back home, and the company can't get anyone out to fix it until Monday. So it was a tough day, one where I, at least, reacted out of my old nature 'waaay more than I should have. And yet it is on days like this one that we find ourselves "afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed". And somehow, the strength and perseverance and patience and hope and faith are there, just enough, to carry us through.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 158 - November 19 - Thanks and more prayer

I need to say "thank you" to whoever you are. You know who you are, the person or persons unknown from the restaurant last night. Somebody apparently saw us while we were eating and paid for our meal without telling us. Such a gesture was so very much appreciated - I just wish I could have thanked you personally. Oh well, someday...

Here's some more prayer requests for you - first, as you may or may not know, working in ATC means working odd hours. Planes fly around the clock, of course, and tonight I have to work my first midshift since I came back to work. What this means is that I got up at 0300 this morning, worked a shift, and got home at 1:30 this afternoon. I'll get a few hours sleep this afternoon, then back to work from 9 tonight to 0500 tomorrow. The big concern is that I won't be available to help. So the first request will be for a smooth and quiet night for the boy so there are no crises while I can't get back to help.

Request number 2 is for safe travel for Joélle tomorrow. Iin the morning, I'll get home about 0545, and then Joélle and I have to be out the door by 0620 to get to the airport on time. She is winging her way to Chicago for the weekend to see her friends (and Alan, of course!) and to touch base with school. So I'd ask you to remember her safety as you pray.

Finally, this weekend while Joélle is gone will be the first time just Cherié and I will be around to care for the boy. We can use your prayer, as we essentially conduct a trial run of what it's going to be like when Joélle goes back to Moody in January.

Thank you so much for your continued dedication and support. We love y'all!

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 157 - November 18 - With a nod of the head

Last evening, I was washing up after dinner while Cherié and Connor sat in the living room with Joélle. Suddenly, I heard what can best be described as a loud exclamation of alarm from my wife. Concerned, I dropped the dish towel and went careening around the corner, scurrying to find out what had gone wrong.

I was met with an excited flurry of words from Cherié, which took me a second to decipher. It turned out to not have been an exclamation of alarm after all, but rather more of a shout of excitement (more of an "ooh" than an "ahh", for you Monty Python fans). Cherié, sitting 8-10 feet from Connor and slightly out of his line of sight, had looked up at him just as he turned his head toward his left hand. While she watched, he looked at his hand, his left thumb visibly moved almost an inch, and Connor nodded to himself, as if he were satisfied that he had done what he determined to do.

It was an exciting moment for Cherié, and only slightly less so for me (I did miss seeing it, after all). We talked a bit about it after that, and Cherié hasn't been this confident in five months. She is encouraged by the fact that this affliction really is only temporary.

One of the things I deal with on a regular basis through this season in our life is the fact that much of what I am trying to unlearn, I believed to be my basic personality for most of my life. For example, if you were to ask me, I'd tell you that I'm a "glass half empty" person, and I seem to be able to find the grey cloud under every silver lining. Eeyore, if you will! I'm learning that this isn't, in fact, my basic personality; but rather it has much to do with how I choose to live/see/act - so that makes it doubly difficult because my subconscious keeps telling me I'm trying to change something I can't change. In a sense, that's true - I can't change it. What I'm really trying to do is to let God change me instead. Much harder, IMO (at least at this particular point in my life!). And that reminds me of the lyrics of a song from the OC Supertones - "I'm sorry about who I am, I'm not who I'm trying to be. For some reason my bad attitude comes so easily."

Oh, wretched man that I am (in the immortal words of Paul the Apostle)! Who can rescue me from this body of death?

So I praise God that He can work such good out of such a situation.

Tonight our kids are kicking Cherié and I out of the house for an hour or two so we can go have dinner alone. That's a blessing - although I see her every day, I haven't seen my wife in quite a while. It'll be good for us. Please continue to pray for our family - we need the Lord's intervention badly to stay in one accord through this. Pray that Connor's movements would be magnified and spread across his body, that he would begin to regain the feeling that goes with it, and that he would be able to submit his attitude and pride to the Lord. Please also pray for me, that I would be effective at leading this family spiritually. I want so badly to help Connor through this, but so often seem to be unable to do so.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 155 - November 16 - Five months

Connor ran into the lake five months ago today. He came home from the hospital one month ago today, so the sixteenth of the month has at least two fairly significant memories attached to it.

We didn't make it to church this morning - a really long night left us all in a zombie-like state for most of the day, so we read some scripture and a short devotional together as a family. It was a difficult day for me - I've been struggling for the last few days with the feeling that I have nothing of value to say to anyone, which has made it difficult to blog; and that sense spilled over to our time as a family as well. Ironically, I had a friend tell me the other day, "Don't buy into the lie that you have nothing of value to offer. I don't know why I'm supposed to tell you that, but here it is". It's interesting to me that he told me that a week before I needed to hear it. It's also interesting that it isn't a magic bullet that makes not believing the lie really easy. Given the history of the last five months, you would think that hearing a pertinent word from out of the blue, and then having the chance to apply it a week later, would make me go "Wow, God sure is looking out for me! I'd better heed the advice and not believe this lie." Unfortunately, I am apparently still completely human, and so I've really been wrestling to get my mind in tune with God enough to have an understanding of what I should be blogging.

Anyway, I mentioned that we read some scripture and a short devotional this morning instead of going to the church building for worship. Cherié handed me the book, opened to the right page - and the title of the devotional for today was "Ignoring the Odds" - which was about pursuing a passionate, obedient faith in the face of all the odds. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

It reminded me of a good story out of the Bible, however. It used the story of Joshua and the Israelites at Jericho to demonstrate that often, God's plans are not what we would come up with on our own, and yet obedience in the face of ridicule, persecution and the odds produces a far greater outcome than we would have thought.

So, we straightened our shoulders, set our faces again, and continued through the day - believing that we will see the boy get up again.

I guess that is the point of a devotional...

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 153 - November 14 - Lunatic children, faithful God

Joélle and Connor went out for a spin around the cul-de-sac this afternoon. Sitting in Connor's lap, Joélle steered the boy's chair back and forth and around, looking for (small) obstacles to take on, hitting every ramp and driveway on the block, and trying with only limited success to make the thing go in a straight line, with the whole thing punctuated by Joélle squealing like a stuck pig and Connor laughing so hard he'd make his ventilator alarm go off. I managed a few photos, as well as a short movie clip (which should appear on the Photos page of the website before too long). The kids had a blast and got most of the neighbors laughing, while Cherié and I were torn between laughter and that stomach-sinking feeling we had on the kids' first day in kindergarten, or as we watched them drive off by themselves for the first time in the family car. Fortunately, nobody got hurt, everybody got a good laugh, and some much-needed variety was added to our day.

The laughter continued inside the house when four of the kids' friends came by and hung out together. We're really thankful for the friends that come by to hang with the boy, helping us to stay connected to them even though Connor doesn't currently get out as much as he used to.

I was reading Psalm 13 yesterday, and it was a bit of a revelation when I realized that my emphasis in that chapter has changed. A few months ago the first four verses were the primary focal point of my prayers. While I still ask the questions posed by David in verses 1-4, I realized yesterday that I was able to appreciate verses 5 and 6 when I couldn't back then. So I wanted to quote Psalm 13 to you, because I know that many of you are facing your own trials and struggles -

Psalm 13

How Long, O LORD?

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him,"
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

If you are in the midst of torment; if you fear the arrival of a difficult struggle or trial; if you know that decisions you must make will strain you in ways you can't imagine - I can tell you from experience this one thing - that you can absolutely, 100% rely on God's provision to carry you through. He loves you. He cares about you, about your situation, about your future. Don't be afraid to trust Him - He is faithful. He will carry you. He will never fail you.

This I know.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 151 - November 12 - Hmmmm.

Well, I guess it's true that there is no way of speaking such that you cannot be misunderstood. It seems that I way overdid things my effort to address an itty-bitty detail.

I would imagine that even my effort here to clarify what I said will be misunderstood, if so, it was not and is not my intent to give offense.

To wit, I personally am grateful for all who choose to comment, and am actually working on some up-coming changes to the website that will make it easier for us to connect with each other, should you so choose, and reinforce the community that has evolved around ConnorWatch.

So, perhaps another way to say what I was trying to say...

If you want to be anonymous, please, don't do anything different. If you need to be anonymous, for whatever reason, shy, reserved, technologically declined, alternative belief system, personal preference, then by all means, be anonymous. That is OK. I'd rather have you here anonymously than not at all.

But for all of you that are putting your name in the comment field anyway, i.e., not remaining anonymous, e.g. Jeff, (OBTW Jeff, well done, and well appreciated, all the way around) INSTEAD, click the button at the end that says NAME/URL. Put your name in the NAME blank, IGNORE the URL blank, and publish.

Then your comment will start out with "YOUR NAME says..." followed by your comment.

Actually it will have your name there instead of YOUR NAME, if you get the picture. So when we start reading, we will know who is talking instead of waiting for the very end to figure it out. It is a big help when we don't have visual clues like looking at your face.

Or you could open a free Blogger account, upload your photo, and then your smiling visage will accompany every comment you make, like the one I made here on November 7th. If you need help doing that, let me know, and I'll post instructions.

In summary.

Anonymous - fine.

Not anonymous - use the NAME/URL button, or your BLOGGER ID.

Well, I hope that helps.

Jeff, thanks for cheering me up!

Brad

Michigan

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 151 - November 12 - Who Is This Anonymous Person Anyway?

Judging from the comments that make up so much of the ConnorWatch blog, you'd think that the most common name in America is "Anonymous" or that "Anonymous" has nothing better to do all day than comment on the ConnorWatch blog. Based on the last few days, it looks like more than half the comments on the blog are from someone named "Anonymous". Given his/her ubiquitious popularity, why didn't we elect him/her president? Who is this "Anonymous" person anyway?

Now, I know that's not quite an accurate portrayal, but sometimes sarcasm helps us see things more clearly.

What I'm getting at is that the ability to post anonymously is there for someone who genuinely needs to remain unknown. I recognize, at some fundamental level, that philosophy is contrary to Scripture and the community we find ourselves in here at ConnorWatch, but I haven't turned off the ability to post anonymously so that folks who don't share the same worldview, or have chosen a different path can still comment on the blog without fear of abuse, retaliation, or even a barrage of well-intentioned critical observations. (Yes, it does happen.) I want them to feel welcome, even if unknown.

So what I'm asking is that all of you (except for you who really needs to remain unknown) post your comments using your name, or at least your user name. Many of you include your name in the text portion of the comment anyway, so I know you aren't trying to remain anonymous. Specifically, what I mean is checking the appropriate box at the bottom of the comment form when you generate a comment.

After you write your comment, before you hit 'Publish Your Comment', CHOOSE YOUR IDENTITY. If you have a Google/Blogger or OpenID account, that is an easy one. If you don't then click the button beside NAME/URL. I know it sounds scary, but the URL is optional - leave it blank, and type your name or user name in the "Name" blank. Then publish your comment.

Just don't click Anonymous, unless you well and truly intend to remain anonymous.

Now when we look at the comments, it will say something like "Brad said..." followed by my comment, instead of the generic "Anonymous said..." See how much better that is for our community?

If you need more help on commenting, log in to ConnorWatch, and go to the FAQ page, "How do I post a comment on the ConnorWatch Blog"

We are more than anonymous - we are people, and we are a community of believers that have come together to carry some of our own through difficult times. Our words are our own, they have value, and are a reflection of ourselves. Most of us do not know each other except through the words we share here. Let us respect and encourage each other by sharing who we are when we share what we think. We will be the stronger for it.

Brad

Michigan

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 150 - November 11 - Works of Power

Did you know that the Greek words that we usually translate "miracle" in the Bible literally mean "works of power"? Me neither! I really like that thought - the thought that the very word to name a miracle defines the force necessary to make one. In Acts 8:13, the words are used in relation to someone seeing the works Phillip was doing in Samaria.

Works of power. I really, really like that. I especially like it in relation to one of my favorite verses, 2 Timothy 1:7, wherein Paul is telling Timothy what kind of spirit God has given him - one not of fear, "but of power and of love and of a sound mind". The really cool thing about verse seven in that passage, however, is that it follows verses five and six! Check it out -

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Paul mentions Timothy's faith, and urges him to fan into flame the gift of God. Now, it's obvious that fanning anything into flame can be arduous and tedious work, as anyone who has ever tried to get the charcoal going with a paper plate knows. But more importantly, to what gift is Paul referring? I think the context speaks clearly that Paul is referring to Timothy's faith, particularly in light of another of Paul's letters, his first letter to the Corinthians. 1 Corinthians 12:1-11, and particularly verse nine, make it clear that faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit, and Paul commends and encourages Timothy in his. The next verses in 2 Timothy spell out what Timothy is to do with his faith - be confident in it and not ashamed of his testimony about the Lord.

Y'all understand why I'm interested in the correlation between faith and power, I'm sure. And I find that this passage dovetails easily with Jesus' own teachings about belief and prayer. It's clear from these teachings that Jesus and Paul both thought quite strongly that faith is supposed to be powerful.

Here I am again (or still, as the case may be) - enamored by how power is meant to flow from faith, and how faith is supposed to permeate prayer with power, and how in some way, faithful, power-filled prayer interacts with the sovereign will of God.

What kind of power flows out of faith? I think the answer to that, having read, re-read, pondered, and prayed over such passages as Mark 11:24 for months, is "the kind of power that can move the hand of God". That kind of power.

Do you believe it? Do I believe it? And let me ask the question that defines where the rubber meets the road - do I believe it so much that I will keep believing it until the prayer is answered or I'm told "no", no matter how long it takes?

I had the exciting opportunity this afternoon, while working with Connor's hands, to be holding his hand in mine when he, ever so gently, squeezed his hand against mine. Squeezed it!

I believe with everything I can muster that my God is going to set my son back on his feet again. I am not ashamed of my testimony about the Lord. I will not apologize; I will not wilt under the pitying glances of they who think I've gone off my rocker; I will believe that my God, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, who delights to do good things, who tells me Himself to pray and not give up, and who can do more than I can ask or even imagine, commands me to continue this course of action because He wants people who will dare to show how great He is.

Watch and see.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 149 - November 10 - Care and Prayer

Well, I took the liberty of adding up the billed total of those 106 envelopes I received the other day.

$443 and change. That's an average of $4.18 per envelope.

It cost the company over $42 just to mail the bills to me. What kind of profit margin allows a company to spend 10% of the billed total on postage? I'm obviously in the wrong business!

And we wonder why health care is so expensive...

I've just got one prayer request tonight (and yes, thank you for noticing that it's almost 11 PM as I post this. So much for not procrastinating!). Connor is becoming more proficient with the computer equipment, but he is reticent to post anything to the blog. I know there are many different feelings running through him, and since blogging is unfamiliar territory for him, I'm sure he's uncomfortable with the idea. I am working to help him adjust to the idea, as I know how many of y'all would love to hear directly from him. So I would ask that you'd be praying for him. I suspect it's a lot like standing up in front of a bunch of people and speaking publicly for the first time. I also think he feels like a spectacle sometimes, and doesn't want to be one. So please help him by praying for the Lord's guidance, encouragement and boldness for the boy. I'd really like you to hear from him directly, instead of through my filters.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 148 - November 9 - Time to break this cycle

We made it to church this morning! There were some frustrating moments in the process, with me losing my temper at least twice. Fortunately, Joélle's calmness and level head helped me through, and we were able to get to the church close to the time we were trying to hit. Then once we were parked, the lift decided to not work the first two times we tried to lower Connor out of the van. Don't ask me, I'm not a mechanic! I seem to always get these mystery problems; the ones that appear and you can't figure them out, but then if you go to the mechanic with it they can't duplicate the problem. I'm sure y'all never get those sorts of things...

Church was a blessing. I should say, the people at church were a blessing. Like we suspected, the boy was mobbed by well-wishers and friends as soon as he showed his face, but he bore it with good grace; and it was truly a joy to be greeted by so many - folks whom God has used mightily to show us His provision. I don't think any of us got through the morning with dry eyes! I know we weren't able to convey our appreciation well to many who spoke to us - be confident that we are truly grateful for how each of you has blessed us over the last few months.

It was 'way cool to sit in church with my whole family in a row, and look over at my son and daughter and see them both singing and praising God together. What a joy our kids are to us. We were especially blessed by the gracious demeanor with which the boy carried himself in the face of this experience. Like I told him this evening, I'm proud to be called his father. God has truly honored us with such a son.

Here's a prayer request for you - as I mentioned to some friends today, I'm a really bad procrastinator (actually, Cherié pointed out that I'm really quite good at it!). Since we got home from the hospital last month, I've usually ended up putting off blogging until the last few minutes of the day, like I did tonight. Here it is, 11:03 PM, and I'm still trying to formulate sentences. What usually ends up blogged is something along the lines of "Well, we had a good day, but since I've fallen asleep four times typing this sentence, I'm going to bed." Not too informative, and certainly not the gripping tales to which you've become accustomed. 8-D

So, my request to you is that the Lord would prompt me to blog when I can still think. Cherié and I have discussed this, and we feel that God has called us to something more on this blog than "here's how Connor's day went". That's important, and the reason many of you log on each day, but we believe that God has more to say here and we want to be available for His use. Consequently, I want to be in an actual lucid state when I blog, in order to be the tool He desires in His hands.

Hopefully, you'll start hearing from us earlier in the day pretty soon. Until then, God bless each of you for your prayers, your love, and your support of us.

Eric

PS - One other quick word - I just want to say "thanks" to the men who have been giving up their spare time, leaving their families, to come to our house on their weekends and work to get the addition ready for Connor. You bless us by both your contribution and your sacrifice. May God richly reward you for it.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 147 - November 8 - Speaking of mail

Many of you have asked for a mailing address for Connor. This can be found on the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) page by clicking the button on the top of the page titled "FAQS". If you do not see the button, it is because you are not logged into the Members Only section of the website. Log in from the front page and the button will appear.

It's available only to members of the site in order to try to limit the amount of pre-approved credit applications, free offers for little blue pills, and other unwanted junk mail that arrives in our mailbox. So if you'd like to send something to Connor or the family, sign in and drop us a note!

On a more serious note, please be praying for Connor and the family tomorrow (Sunday). We are trying to get to church together as a family for the first time since June. For those of you with kids, you know what a challenge it can be to get to church with anything resembling a right heart and attitude. We feel a large amount of resistance as we've endeavored to get to church the last couple of weeks, and so we're praying ourselves through it. Your support would be appreciated, that we would be able to get all the logistical details in place as we try to meet the time constraints of getting everyone up, dressed, and in the van in time to make the service. Additionally, since we don't always function as graciously as we should first thing in the morning, tempers can flare and frustrations can mount. Your prayers for us as we try this for the first time would be appreciated.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 147 - November 8 - Picked up the mail today...

...and found this bundle of bills for Connor. They're all from one place, and there are 106 - count 'em, 106 - envelopes. I guess I'll spend tomorrow opening them all up to see what they say. The two I've opened so far were for different things.

Don't ask me why they couldn't have written line items and consolidated the bill into one - seems like they've spent a lot of money just putting the billing together.

What an interesting life we lead!

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 146 - November 7 - "That's definitely me"

A quick post before bed, but one I think you'll want to hear. Connor and I were sitting together in the living room this evening while Cherié was busy in the kitchen. Suddenly, without any precursor, Connor simply said "Yep, that's definitely me". Thinking this was an odd thing for him to say without some sort of lead-in, I asked "What's definitely you?" The boy answered "My thumb".

He had decided to see if he could move his thumb, and recognized that he had, in fact, commanded the movement he saw. It sounded like it had surprised him, so I'm glad he is now seeing a bit of progress.

We continue to give God thanks and praise for His watchcare over us, and for His army of prayer warriors surrounding us.

Have a great night.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 146 - November 7 - Big Bad Birthday Brad

In the spirit of brotherly love that caused Brad and Kent to point out my birthday on Day 6 of Connor's journey, I feel compelled to return the favor. Allow me to introduce you to the fact that today, my big brother Brad is turning 51 (at least I think it's 51...)!

This gives me the opportunity to drag him (figuratively, of course - he's much too big brotherly for me to physically drag anywhere) out of his underground lair (OK, his office is in the basement, but "underground lair" has a much more nefarious ring to it. Don't you agree?) and draw attention to him!

Brad busts his hump all the time to keep ConnorWatch up and running, all while also doing his real work. Without his quick thinking, this blog would not exist, and without his dedication, the website would never have expanded into this community. Through Brad's efforts, God provided our family with an army of prayer warriors to lift up the boy. I am deeply in debt to Brad for this, and acknowledging him publicly for all his help doesn't begin to repay it.

Besides, I just like to give him grief now and then! Isn't that what little brothers are for? 8-)

Happy Birhtday, bro!

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 144 - November 5 - Latest update

Well, I have to apologize again for not posting sooner. Seems that life continually crowds me out and then it's suddenly time to go to bed...

Today went pretty well for Connor. He didn't have any lung or saturation issues today (thank you for your diligent prayers!), and he had a good time up in his chair trying to master the new controls for his computer. Fortunately, he's pretty quick picking up stuff like that.

I have one reasonably big problem, however - I'm running out of good adjectives that are synonymous with "incredible" or "outstanding". I try to express something we're experiencing, only to find I'm using the same words over and over again. For example, I would tell you that we were extraordinarily blessed yesterday by the members of a local church, but the word "extraordinarily" has been used exactly 3,197 times in the blog since June, and it also doesn't even begin to convey the depth of the blessing these folks are to us. Someday in glory the nature and significance of this blessing will be revealed, but for now just trust that when God says He "...is able to do more than we can ask or imagine", He really, really means it!

Oh, yeah - I made up the "3,197" bit.

Did you know that 71.6 per cent of all cited statistics are made up on the spot?

8-)

Please continue to pray for us - we're so tired we can't see straight, but somehow we make it through the day. I have to admit to being a bit surprised that I haven't fallen asleep at the wheel on my way home from work yet. Of course, I also suspect my Mom wonders why I've taken to calling her so often as I drive to/from work...

Falling asleep at the keyboard again, though. Goodnight...

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 142 - November 3 - Blessings...

Remember yesterday I said that Connor wasn't moving his fingers "as much"? Well, that was an understatement - he really wasn't moving them at all. It was too easy to shade the truth and understate the issue, and hide my disappointment with a "oh, it's not really as bad as it seems". I'll try not to do it again.

As you know, I've been praying regularly for Connor's complete restoration, and yesterday was no exception. All afternoon, after I realized that Connor wasn't moving his fingers, I've been praying specifically for the movement of his arms and his diaphragm, and I continued that effort this morning while I was at work. This afternoon, as I was on my way home, I got a call from Joélle to tell me that - get this - not only was the boy moving his left fingers again, but also his right fingers!!! And the left finger movements are much bigger and decisive than the other day!

Needless to say, we are excited about this progress. I got home, and although he was tired Connor gave it the ol' college try (does that make me "the gipper"?). He moved his fingers for me, and I watched as the tendons in his right wrist tightened to try to move his entire hand!

For those who may not know your spinal geography, it's time for a brief lesson. In your neck you have what are called the cervical vertebrae. They are numbered C1 through C7, with the lower number being higher. Connor's injury was a dislocation of C4 and C5. Now, there are nerve bundles which pass between each vertebra, and each vertebral passage corresponds with a level of motion and feeling. The higher the vertebra, the higher the function. So C1 nerves control things like the nerves in your face, while C3 passes the central body functions like your diaphragm etc. C4 moves your shoulders and neck. When you injure your neck, you may lose feeling and/or motion below your level of injury, so according to medicine Connor should have the use of his shoulders and should be able to breathe on his own. He can do neither, to the degree that the professionals have labeled him a C1 injury (because that's what it acts like).

OK, if I haven't bored you to death, they tell us that if Connor gets any recovery at all, we can expect return back to (usually) one level below his injury. That would be C6 for Connor, which controls the lower arms.

Why am I telling you this? Well, guess where the nerves that control your hands and fingers are - C7. It's quite clear that God is moving - and I remain confident that God will provide and my son will walk again - in this life, on this earth.

I can't wait to see it!

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 141 - November 2 - Out and about

Took the boy out of the house for the first time today. Loaded up the van with the family, two friends and all the paraphernalia, and went out to lunch. It was a huge step for Connor - letting the public see him for the first time took a lot of courage on his part . We also continued our education into how inaccessible most of the world is if you can't walk. I was surprised how difficult even navigating bumpy thresholds can be.

All in all, however, we managed to do what we wanted to do with a minimum of headaches, which was a good thing.

Interestingly, today Connor wasn't able to move his fingers as much as yesterday. Please be praying for him, that he would continue to improve, and that he would be motivated to work hard at it. Some days it's hard for him to see anything but his prison cell, and feeling like that makes it hard for him to keep his spirits up. So your prayers are greatly appreciated.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 140 - November 1 - On Demand

We've had a pretty eventful weekend so far (and by "weekend", I mean Friday and Saturday, which are my regular days off each week). On Friday morning, I went up and closed the deal on the van, which is now taking up a fairly large patch of concrete out in the driveway. Since Connor didn't get up into his chair yesterday until after dark (when he and Joélle began watching scary movies with their friends while also answering the doorbell every 47 seconds), he didn't get to see the thing until this afternoon. But today we finally went out and helped him into it, and even took a quick spin around the block just to try it out. While he is quick to appreciate the vehicle, it's apparent that he sees it as a great big sign of his situation, rather than "necessary transportation until he doesn't need it anymore". I made him a deal - once he's walking again, we'll sell the thing and use the money to put towards a car he wants instead. He was pretty quick to accept that deal!

I guess my big news today is the "On Demand". This afternoon, Connor began moving his left thumb and forefinger - on demand! He's done it maybe a dozen times so far, early this afternoon, early evening, and as late as a few minutes ago. Right now the movements are in the fractions of inches, but he is definitely making them of his own accord and because he chooses to. What exciting news!

We give thanks to God for this sign of Connor's restoration, at one and the same time both so small and so huge. We continue to trust Him for His provision, and for Connor's complete healing. Hold fast!

----------------------------------------
Print This Page