Day 138 - October 30 - Encouraging signs

After I posted last night, some things happened that were encouraging, and signs of God's continued faithfulness to us. First, Cherié was rubbing Connor's back and he said "I can tell you're going in circles", which she was, about three inches below his shoulder blades. Pretty cool, huh?

Then, later on, we were moving the boy upward in his bed and his eyes suddenly popped open. SInce that's a pretty good sign that something happened, I asked him what was wrong, and if we had hurt him. He said "No, I just felt like electricity went down and back up my spine". I asked him how far, and he said it went all the way down and then back up.

Finally, as he lay in bed a bit later, he suddenly asked us "is one of my hands uncovered?" I looked, and sure enough, his left hand was out from under the blanket. I said "Yes, why?" and he answered "I can feel the difference - one's hot and one's cold"! I asked him which hand was cold, and he correctly identified the left one.

We were encouraged by these things, as they are signs that there are signals getting past his injury and his nervous system is trying to figure it out. Please, please, please continue to lift him up.

Today we managed to get through the day without major crises, and Connor's lungs seemed to be better. Many of you have expressed concern about the construction - we raised that concern early on with the guys doing the work, and they arranged the schedule so we don't need to break down any walls until the thing is almost complete. As it stands now, there's not really any connection between the house and the addition, at least not until we get a bit further on. When we do have to break down walls, the guys are going to seal the workspace from the house. Theyr'e going way out of their way to help keep the boy healthy, for which I thank them.

Finally, Connor has been tentatively approved for Supplemental Security Income through the Social Security Administration, which means he will qualify for Medi-Cal. There's still a bunch of paperwork hoops to jump through, but the ball is finally rolling in the direction of being able to get some nursing help here at the house. I'm praying that by the time the paperwork goes through, Connor won't need it anymore!

So, all in all a manageable day. Praise the Lord, I'm going to bed. See ya tomorrow...

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 137 - October 29 - A tougher day

Cherié and Connor had a tougher day today - we're having trouble keeping Connor's lungs clear, so it was a moment by moment battle for most of the day. Fortunately, things settled down a bit as the evening wore on, and Connor is almost asleep now as I sit by his bedside and blog. Keeping the boy's lungs clear is a major priority for us - pneumonia lurks behind every cough and wheeze and Connor's condition makes it difficult to perform even such a simple, taken for granted thing as coughing. We would particularly appreciate your prayers for the health of Connor's lungs, and that he would be protected from any such infections.

Today the kitties got repaired - I mean, fixed - at the vet. They're a bit lethargic, but will most likely be as right as rain tomorrow. Someone asked for the cats' names - Connor named his "Coon" because of the rings on her tail. Joélle (who follows in her proud father's footsteps as an avid Monty Python fan) has decided to name her kitty "Reginald Luxury Yacht". Of course, those of you who appreciate fine British humor will know that, although it's spelled "Luxury Yacht", it's pronounced "throat warbler mangrove". Seriously, you'll just have to watch the sketch. The name has already been shortened to "Reggie", but I want to take the cat to the vet sometime and explain the name to the poor receptionist.

And yes, both of the cats are females.

And "Reginald Luxury Yacht" was followed closely in popularity by "Nigel Incubator Jones", which was my choice...

So now, having proven to everyone's satisfaction that the stress really has driven us around the bend, I bid you goodnight. 8-)

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 136 - October 28 - Reporting back

For those interested, the van was exactly what we need for the boy. It was readily apparent that God laid the groundwork, and the seller and I were able to negotiate a price that was agreeable to both of us and (barely) within the range of what I hope we will be able to afford. Speaking of which, those of you that made suggestions of ways to help, you touch my heart by such generosity. It astonishes me that folks we don't even know would want to help us - I know it's true, but it still makes me boggle at the thought.

I've been giving a lot of thought to a couple of things that were posted the other day. The first was a comment someone made that they were praying that God would "possibly" heal Connor. The second was something a sister posted about the devil loving to see us begging for things that Christ already gave us...

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

- Jesus

Mark 11:24

I just thought we could all use the reminder...

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 136 - October 28 - I could use your prayers today

This afternoon I'm going to take a look at a vehicle that may possibly meet our needs for Connor. It's a used 2007 Dodge Sprinter with 5000 miles on it; identical to the stock photo above but already set up for a wheelchair etc.. The reason I am posting this is because there are a lot of people out there seeking ways to help us get Connor mobile again, and I wanted to enlist their aid as well as mention God's provision. This vehicle is precisely the van we were looking for - the van itself is fairly rare in the US (although it's wildly popular overseas), it's already set up for Connor to access, and it's within 30 miles of our home. And it's also the only van Connor actually likes! What a series of coincidences, right? 8-)

I want to look at this vehicle with the right heart, in tune to what God has for our family, and not be swept away by what appears to be a very fortuitous string of events. So I bring it to you to pray that I would be attuned to the Spirit as I view this thing and not act impetuously. Also, God will have to move to bring the cost of the van into the range we can afford, and so prayer in that regard would be appreciated as well.

I'll let you know how it goes... 8-)

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 134 - October 26 - How big is this thing?

Taking a look at the website's map, and talking about what's been going on with friends and family, in particular with Brad and Kent, it's quite apparent that this is all much, much bigger than simply a story about an injured teenager. From the beginning, many people besides us have found God moving in their lives, often in very profound ways, and many times with no other connection to Connor and our family than this blog. I suppose this shouldn't surprise me, since I've "believed" since I was a child that God is much bigger than I can imagine. Being confronted with this much bigger God, however, is a bit of a different story! I guess I didn't realize that a God who is bigger, greater, and more powerful than I can even conceive would actually be bigger, greater, and more powerful than I can conceive!

I am told every week about something God is doing in someone's life through this. Some of these things are more on the mundane side (as if anything God is doing could be mundane!), like causing someone to read the Bible more, or encouraging someone's faith to grow. Other stories being told, however, border on the amazing - marriages being reconciled, parent/child relationships drawing close again; things that on one hand might seem to be "normal", but are they really?

I watch people gather around us, building an addition, or bringing meals, or offering us every sort of aid you can imagine - and I catch a very small glimpse of how much bigger this whole thing is than just my son and my family - and I'm amazed.

But, being the guy I am, I wonder "Why? What does it mean? What's going on?" alot. I wanted to put a bug in your ear that I hope to begin exploring that in more depth over the next few weeks - What is God doing through all of this? If God can do more than I can think or imagine, be advised that I can imagine quite a bit. It's exceedingly exciting to think of the global impact God has already made through Connor's story, and to speculate a bit on what's going to happen from it. I hope to be able to include each of you in that discussion, as well, and I'm looking forward to hearing what the Lord has been doing in you through this journey.

An update - Connor spent the day tired and lethargic yesterday. We ended up turning away a number of visitors because it just wasn't a good day; if you were one of them, thank you for understanding. Please be praying that today God's mercies will be apparent to the boy as he goes through his day. This seems to be the pattern for Connor... a few days full of guests wears him out and he needs a day or two to regain his strength. Four months in the hospital really depleted him of rest. So thanks for being patient with us.

I don't tell y'all often enough - we love you! Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 132 - October 25 - Kitties

Connor remains healthy tonight, and is enjoying his new kitty, as you can see...



He wasn't the only one who got a new kitty, though - Joélle got one too...



The reason the kids have new cats is primarily because when we left for Fresno back in June, we owned two cats and a dog. Like Job, however, we lost 2/3rds of our flocks while in this crisis, and until today had been reduced to a single large, dopey dog. So we decided we would replace them. We brought the cats home this afternoon and Connor has spent most of the time since then persuading the kitty to curl up and go to sleep with him. Seems to be working so far... 8-)

You know, I can't form a cohesive thought - I keep falling asleep at the computer. I've done it about five times since I sat down to start this post, but I can't do it. I'll try to post what I was thinking of tomorrow morning. It should dovetail nicely with the "My Atrophied Faith" articles...

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 131 - October 24 - Thumbs up!

Well, not quite, but this evening Cherié and I watched as Connor moved his left thumb about one eighth of an inch! He slowly moved it from side to side two or three times. I asked him if he was moving it, and he said something along the lines of "I think so".

Another very small sign of improvement - we'll take it. Thank you, Lord. We ask that you would faithfully complete this work you've begun.

Please be praying that these steps would consistently grow and increase, and that movement, feeling, and control would quickly return to all of Connor's body.

Also, please be in prayer for us as we search for a van for Connor. Because of his size, we are looking for a Dodge Sprinter to outfit for the boy. It's just another of the many challenges we face in this new life of ours, and your prayers in this regard are appreciated.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 131 - October 24 - Where'd who go?

Many of our keen-eyed observers traveling with us on ConnorWatch noticed that not much as been posted in the last 24 hours. I probably wouldn't have noticed either if Eric hadn't been complaining...er...attentive to the status of ConnorWatch around the clock. Regardless, nobody has been able to post since yesterday at 3:11 A.M., so some of you were getting nervous. That's good - thank you for your concern and prayer. I'm pleased to report that we were successful in restoring the blog to full functionality, and everything should be right as rain as far as ConnorWatch goes.

For all those who want to know what happened...well...it's technical.

Eric hoped I could sum it up in two or three sentences, so I said, "well, I'm not an engineer, but what the hey, I'll give it a shot."

As best as I can tell, at approximently 11:58 Universal Coordinated Time, October 23, the ConnorWatch blog, through no fault of its own, other than being a somewhat complex piece of software residing on a new server in Pennsylvania , where it organized data related to Connor Williamson in response to the HTML requests of various and sundry computer users around the world, and enduring the attention of Connor's uncle Brad, who was always concerned, some would say overly, that either the ConnorWatch server would not have adequate horsepower to support the simultaneous requests from ConnorWatch users on six of seven continents, or that he would inadvertantly destroy 130 days of ConnorWatch blog entries and the associated comments by a careless keystroke, which, of course, was patently not a concern had he only read the hosting provider's standard back-up plan and compared it to his own practice of backing up the blog routinely, suffered an inadvertent heavy neutrino interaction.

It would have been the only neutrino identified that day at the CERN Large Scale Sub-Atomic Particle Detector (LSSAPD) in Switzerland, had it not collided with an errant electron in the 18th logical bit in the third chip on the second of four dual in-line memory modules, whacking it silly, and changing the associated byte from a logical 1 to a logical 0, which consequently caused the termination of a critical subroutine and the associated failure of the ConnorWatch blog to update, and then, without any apparent loss of momentum, deflecting through downtown Encino where it left a molecular distortion in the plastic of a Seven-Eleven sign and a microscopic hole in a paper cup that would persistently irritate Delmer Schafly, a local software engineer, who having spent his last ninety-nine cents in change, scraped from the ashtray of his 1995 Geo Metro, on a large cherry slurpie, would notice red stains on his only white work shirt for the rest of the afternoon, and would wonder silently to himself where on earth they could have come from, as he had been very careful with both the lid and the straw, while the rest of his co-workers continued to mock him, as they usually did after lunch, rather than pursue their assigned task at the California division of Labsoft, a provider of scientific software to the research industry, where, interestingly enough, they were revising the code for heavy neutrino detection at the CERN LSSAPD.

Later it would be discovered, through a remarkable series of coincidences, that Connor's father's name, Eric, and the word blog both have the same number of letters.

Uncanny.

I hope that clears it up.

Brad

Michigan

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 131 - October 24 - Local News

Well, the press has discovered us and the first results are in. No, we don't have paparazzi chasing us through the grocery store, but a reporter from our small local paper came by the house the other night for an interview. If you're interested in reading the resultant article, CLICK HERE.

The lady who wrote this is also interested in a broader piece covering the construction of Connor's addition, that would be presented via video on their website. If that comes about, we'll be sure to link to it from ConnorWatch as well.

There are a couple of salient points in this article that I want to emphasize. First, we believe (as individuals and as a family) that God has great plans for Connor, including the restoration of his body. Second, we desire to be wholly dependent on God, and for Him to receive any attention or glory that derives from this situation. And third, the words "thank you" have no power to express our gratitude to each of you, and to God our Father, for all that has been done for us.

God bless you.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 130 - October 23 - Midnight Oil, sort of

I fell asleep at dinner yesterday.

But since I don't have to be at work until 11AM this morning (as opposed to the 7:30 AM shift I worked M-W), I took the night duty so Cherie could finally sleep upstairs in a bed instead of a recliner. My alarm went off at 2:30 AM so I could empty tubes, refill reservoirs, check lungs and temperature and a few other bodily functions, and otherwise make sure Connor remains healthy. Right now he's restng comfortably now that I finished, and the clock reads 3:27. Now I'm trying to go back to sleep (something I've never been very good at) while I type this up. I thought y'all might be interested to know what we're up to!

I can always catch some Z's at dinnertime... 8-)

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 128 - October 21 - Congrats from Connor

Just a quick post that doesn't really have much to do with ConnorWatch, except that the boy feels a connection. He wanted me to post quickly tonight to tell Mike Singletary "Congratulations" on the head coaching job. For those that didn't catch the story, Mr. Singletary became the new head coach of the San Francisco 49ers today.

Connor and I haven't really been Niner fans in the past, Mike - but we'll be watching from now on! Good luck!

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 128 - October 21 - Counting Blessings

OK, we are officially having our socks blessed off. That's the only way to describe how God continues to provide for us in every way possible. There is no way I can even tell you about all the ways people are helping us out, much less describe each one. Meals, money, prayer, labor, construction materials, services of all sorts, and hospitality only begin to scratch the surface of how the Lord has laid Connor's situation on so many hearts. I praise Him for taking such good care of us in this way - it overwhelms us to even think of it.

That's only one part of His blessing to us, however - we are also growing leaps and bounds in our efforts to a) keep our heads above water, b) faithfully follow where He leads Connor and our family, and c) learn what we're supposed to be learning through this trial while also not going insane. None of us are the same people we were four months ago. I was going to say "I don't know if that's a good thing", but I know that it is. God promised that it would work for good in us, and so even though so many things in our life feel damaged or destroyed, we cling to the promise that they actually aren't.

Finally, we got another blessing this past Saturday, when Joélle and Alan returned from their trip to San Francisco to announce they are engaged! In a stunningly romantic gesture sure to garner him admiration from the females and some goodnatured ribbing from his male friends, Alan dropped to one knee out on the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge and popped the question. No dates have been set yet!

I came home today to find Connor surrounded by friends, watching a movie while also picking out his new cat. Apparently we're going to try to have the first assistance kitty on the planet. 8-)

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 127 - October 20 - Another first

But not really the kind you were expecting. Today was the first day I had to go to work since Connor came home. Have I told you before that we're exhausted? That seems to be the only word I keep coming back to when I try to describe our days... 8-)

Cherié managed to finish her day with some assistance from Joélle and Alan (who's visiting from Chicago this week), and I managed to keep my mind mostly on my work while I was there. As near as I can tell, there wasn't anything particularly exciting about today - Connor was very, very tired and spent most of the day sleeping. Cherié spent most of her day wishing she could have done the same!

Seriously, some new developments have been happening over the last day or so. First, yesterday Connor began to move his head without tilting it, which takes muscles lower in your neck than he was previously using. That was pretty cool, and he also shrugged his shoulder once yesterday. I was thanking God for those things this morning, and began praying earnestly that He would give the boy some new feelings below his neck today. So, while we were putting Connor to bed tonight, I shifted his position and he said "for the first time, my shoulder blade ached when you did that".

I did just a tiny dance of joy. 8-)

You know, I continue to be impressed by how God provides for us in this. I'm not too good at staying in that mindset, but it's really amazing how good God is.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 127 - October 20 - Construction Pictures

I apologize for not posting these yesterday - I ran into some sort of server issue on my end and none of my computers here could get on line. As we say at our house, "The internet was broken". 8-)

I wanted to post a few of these just so those who are interested could get a glimpse of how this project is progressing. If I didn't mention it before, this entire addition is being put together by volunteers, and much of the material so far has been donated, including the cement for the foundation. Amazing, huh? God continues to provide for us far more than we can imagine!

These pictures are over the last week or so, - I'm trying to take some each day to keep a record of it all -

October 12, 2008 -

October 13, 2008 -

October 14, 2008 -

October 15, 2008 -

October 16, 2008 -

October 17, 2008 -

Thank You Lord, for giving us Your hands and feet in the form of the people around us...

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 125 - October 18 - Photos - Homecoming

A few photos from when Connor arrived home the other night...





And a few from this evening...




Our second full day at home went a bit better than the first. We had Connor's wheelchair so he was able to get out of bed, and one of his best friends spent some much needed "chillin'" time with Connor. They laughed and watched movies and goofed off, and the boy's spirits were really raised because of her visit.

We haven't figured out what schedule we need to run yet, but I'm sure we'll be hollering for help as we get adjusted. I know there are many who have volunteered to help out. I'd say the chance of you getting a phone call this week is pretty good!

I'm sorry - I fell asleep at the computer and about 15 minutes have gone by since I typed (most) of that last sentence. I faded out right after "...a phone call" - but it looked a lot more like "ariuahbue.c rudsah " than anything else. Who says I can't do this blog thing in my sleep? 8-)

I'll try to post some photos of the current phase of construction tomorrow morning...

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 124 - October 17 - I am so impressed

I am so impressed today. Let me tell you what I'm impressed by -

I'm really impressed by -

- how steadfast my wife is during this upheaval. She's a rock.
- how faithful my friends are to stand by us.
- how generous the body of Christ has been to us.
- how faithfully God provides to meet our needs, even when we fail to trust Him.
- how weak I am in my faith, even though I've witnessed God's provision time and time again. OK, that's not "impressed" - maybe "dismayed" is a better word for that one.

I am extremely impressed, more than anything else, by the strength Connor shows. He tries to calm us when we're stressed by the things going on. He tries to help us adjust, when it should be the other way around. He really does make me proud to be his Pop.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 123 - October 16 - Well, he's home

We made it - he's here. We've gotten him safely ensconced in his new temporary bedroom (the dining room), but man, what a journey.

It began last night when Connor and I struggled pretty much all night to keep his lungs clear as he adjusted to the new ventilator. Cherié relieved me at 0830 so I could go home for a few hours and put together all the shelving we needed to hold all of the equipment next to Connor's bed. I unloaded all the parts and got about a third into the project before I got to the piece that hadn't been drilled correctly, thus preventing me from putting the thing together. So, that's sitting in the living room to be taken back to the store for a refund.

Once that was over, I got picked up by a friend so I could get up to the place from whom I was renting a full-size van with rear-loading power lift so that I could take Connor home. When we got to the place, I began the arrangements only to discover that the van they had for me was a minivan with a ramp (no lift), and that they don't rent any full-size vans (despite the fact that we had arranged for a full-size van over the phone). The reason this was critical is that Connor, in his chair, exceeds the weight limit for a minivan, and the door and ceiling of a minivan force him to have to recline his chair in order to ride in the vehicle. Because of these things, I had to decline to rent the minivan.

So, now I don't have a vehicle to get Connor home, but I figure I'll just talk one of our occupational therapists into giving us a lift like they did on Tuesday. Alas, the hospital will not allow this due to liability concerns, since Connor has actually been technically discharged since midnight last night. So that idea is a bust.

Hmmm, what should I do now? No transportation, and the hospital won't help. I know, let's call all the other accessible vehicle rental places. No joy on any of them. How about taxis? Well, after three different referrals, I found a taxi company who actually has an accessible van taxi, but it's in the shop today. Most of the others have minivans, but they won't take a vent-dependent patient.

By now it's three o'clock. I guess I'll call the original company and take my chances on the minivan. They tell me they still have my original paperwork and I'm on my way. But, a few minutes later I get another call that the van has been rented by someone else. You're kidding, right?

Back to the hospital. How do we get home? Well, says the case worker, I'm working on getting an ambulance to take him, but you'll have to pick up the tab - $3000 for the 26-mile ride. "Urk", says I.

We finally got the ambulance ride pre-approved by the insurance company (who says miracles don't happen anymore?), and five hours after our projected discharge time they arrived to help Connor into the back of the truck. He was transported on a gurney instead of his wheelchair, so he doesn't have that here at home, but it should arrive tomorrow.

Once we got into the house, Cherié and I spent a couple hours with the equipment supplier trying to understand everything. Connor and Joélle laughed together, rejoicing in having the boy back inside the house. The boy devoured a fantastic steak dinner brought by some new friends, just thrilled to be back in a non-hospital environment with non-hospital food. The dog was going crazy all evening to have her boy back home again.

We're here. Connor's here. It's time for bed.

BTW, in answer to someone's question in the comments from one of the earlier posts, we have no extra care for Connor. My insurance has no provision for long-term care. Hopefully, MediCal and Social Security will kick in before too long to help with that, but until they do, the three of us will somehow care for Connor until January, when Joélle goes back to Moody in Chicago. Then it will be the two of us. Combined with all the offers for various kinds of help, we'll manage.

Please continue to pray.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 123 - October 16 - Upcoming Outage

This is minor news compared to what is happening today, but I wanted to let you know.

We are upgrading the hardware on the ConnorWatch server, and to do so all of the ConnorWatch functions, the website, the blog, the guestbook, everything that has to do with ConnorWatch, will be unaccessible for 1-2 hours during the upgrade.

The upgrade is scheduled for the morning of October 22, which will be next Wednesday, between 1 a.m. and 7 a.m. EDT hopefully impacting as few people as possible.

So if you are looking for Connorwatch during those hours, 10 p.m. Tuesday to 4 a.m. Wednesday on the West Coast next week, and find it off-line, don't be startled. ConnorWatch should be back up within a couple of hours.

Brad

Michigan

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 123 - October 16 - 4:36 AM

Four months ago today, Connor ran down the beach and into the water. This afternoon the medical profession will push us out the front door, dust off their hands, and send us home.

I typed that sentence at 4:36 AM - it is now 5:12. I spent the last 36 minutes trying to clear Connor's lungs enough for him to breathe and stay saturated. Since we're supposed to be able to do all this on our own, the staff doesn't help unless I holler.

I don't know how we can be successful at this 24/7/365.

God help us.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 121 - October 14 - Results of the day

Connor's trip home went well today. We brought him in and tried the place out, and it looks like things will be workable with only a few minor adjustments. Connor was visibly moved to be back home for the first time, and it was a joy to have him back in the house. I think he was a bit frustrated and upset that he had to go back to the hospital afterward, but Joélle has made a point of taking movies back up there and spending the night at the hospital with him, so hopefully that eases some of those feelings.

I was really struck again by the fact that our house hasn't felt like a home for the last four months, but it did for a little while this afternoon. Not because Connor was there, but because we were all four together in our house. That's what made the difference.

I do have a couple of prayer requests tonight - first (in my never-ending quest to think too much), I have been only partially successful at not worrying myself sick about all the particulars and potentialities of bringing the boy home. My mother has gifted me with a genetic structure which is able to take any situation and extrapolate it into the worst possible outcome, and then also believe that that's the ONLY possible outcome. I've gotten better at not doing this over the last few months, but I'm not perfect, and the pending move home has fired up the synapses again. So I'm asking for your prayer that I would truly be confident in the provision of the Lord for our future.

Second, I would ask for your particular prayers for Connor over the next few days, that he would be able to graciously wait for Thursday - he wants to be home so badly that everything that isn't home is automatically bad.

Oh, yeah - my mom wants me to update you on the addition - they're framing the molds for the foundation and should pour it sometime this week. Pictures are on their way...

If I haven't told you "thank you" lately for your prayers, your support, and your encouragement, THANK YOU!

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 121 - October 14 - Trial Run

I didn't post last night for the usual reasons - exhaustion and - well, exhaustion. 8-) So I got up a bit early this morning to keep everyone up to date. It's gonna be brief, primarily because I've got a breakfast meeting in half an hour and I haven't broken my fast yet (so I'm hungry!!!).

Today will mark the first time Connor comes home in nearly four months! Unfortunately, it's just a trial run with the occupational therapists to make sure the house and furniture is manageable - ie., that Connor will be able to maneuver through the house, etc. I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do if they say "Hey, that hallway isn't going to work", but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. It will be exciting to see the boy at home again, even if we do have to go back to the hospital afterward.

All the tests yesterday came back clean - no bacteria, his white blood cell count is very good, and so it appears we're on track for a Thursday return to the house and the next step in this process. Thank you for your prayers for his continued health. They're working!

Construction continues apace - they're building forms for the foundation, inspections are today, and the electricians are working on upgrading the panel so our house can support all the equipment without catching on fire. That's a good thing...

Yesterday's fasting was a blessing - it gave me plenty of reminders to spend time in prayer and worship. It was good. I spent a lot of time praying that I would be able and willing to hear the Lord's leading in this situation, and that I would be obedient to it. How 'bout you - anything impress itself on you yesterday?

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 119 - October 12 - Fasting tomorrow

As a reminder, those who desire to join us in fasting and praying for Connor's complete restoration tomorrow, 10/13, please feel free to do so. For those who are unfamiliar with the idea, "fasting" basically means doing without something for a purpose, and most often it's as a spiritual discipline. What I mean when I say I'm going to fast tomorrow is that I intend to go without eating solid food on Monday, 10/13. Instead, when I would normally be eating, and when I feel hungry, I will pray specifically for Connor.

I was looking up some scripture about fasting today, and I noticed something interesting. I've always associated fasting with prayer, and it is. But many of the mentions of fasting in the Bible refer to "fasting and worship". Hmmmm, says I. So I'd like to ask those of you who are joining me tomorrow to make a point of worshipping in that time as you pray.

Connor had a nice relaxing Sunday today, without complications. Please be praying that he will be patient as the day he goes home approaches - the final stretch is a challenge for him.

Please continue to pray for his health as well. We desire for him to be completely healthy when he goes home, so we're praying for protection of his health in these last few days at the hospital.

Finally, please be praying for the family as we prepare for this next step in the journey. We need it, desperately.

Coveting your prayers,

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 118 - October 11 - My Atrophied Faith Part 3

The middle of the night. That's what this current part of the journey with my son feels like - quiet, no real disturbances going on, somewhat peaceful - but with a sense that something sinister may be lurking around. I've felt just like this for the last week or so; not much is going on, not much is changing, but there's a feeling in the air that something serious is afoot.

I'm actually OK with it being the middle of the night, figuratively, because one of my favorite Bible stories happens during the night.

Now, I've got you thinking - which one? The virgins waiting for the bridegroom? Nope, not that one. What about the story where Paul and Silas are praising God in prison at midnight and there's an earthquake? That's a good one too, but it's not the one I'm thinking of. No, the story to which I refer is told by my favorite storyteller, Jesus Himself, in Luke 11:5-8. The disciples ask Jesus to teach them to pray, and He does, by telling them a story about a man who needs some food because a friend has arrived in the middle of the night after a long journey. Having no bread, he goes next door (OK, this is the Eric Williamson paraphrase again - bear with me!) and bangs on his neighbor's door to get some food. The neighbor, being a good Christian neighbor, immediately jumps up and...no, wait - that's not what he does. He gripes about opening the door, but the man won't go away. He just keeps banging and banging and banging on the guy's door, until finally the neighbor gets up and gives him the food just to get rid of him. Jesus says that although the neighbor wouldn't give him the food because he was his friend, "because of his impudence" he gets up, gets the food together, and gives it to him.

I took the liberty of looking up the meaning of the word "impudent", and the definition I found is "marked by cocky boldness". In other words, this guy was so cheeky that finally the neighbor said "Man, this guy's cheeky! You gotta love a guy that's that cheeky!" and gets out of bed to take care of him.

Man, I like that story! Why, you ask? Well, I've gotten a bunch of interesting emails lately, along with a number of comments on various posts over the last few weeks, in the flavor of the following:

"Isn't the fact that Connor will spend eternity with God good enough for you?"

"What's important is the eternal, not our bodies here in this world."

"You need to lay your rage down, accept what's happened, and rest in the peace of God that passes understanding."

"Is it here on earth you're concerned with, or is it beyond earth and with the Father for eternity?"

First, yes. I have actually gotten emails like these. It seems to me that these comments, and others like them, suggest that I am being impudent for continuing to ask God for my son's restoration. In other words, the writers of these statements fear that I am being disobedient, or at least insufferably arrogant, to not simply accept the fate God has ordained for me and my son. So I'd like to respond to that, as a sort of segue into the next phase of my discussion on faith - 

I give you my word, writers of the above, that if I sense that God desires me to accept our lot and rest in His grace, I will endeavor to do so. I will be obedient to my Lord, even if it isn't something I want or desire. But the operative word here is "if". God has not put that sense in my head or my heart. He has not comforted me with words of sufficiency in this trial. In fact, I get the opposite sense - that I must continue to pray, continue to plead for my son, continue to trust that God will be faithful to His own word, and that He wishes me to continue to stand on the words of verses like Mark 11:24 and pray, believing that I have received my request. "AND IT WILL BE YOURS". That's what God's word says. I didn't make it up. I am not painting myself into a corner, either - despite another accusation that's been made. I'm not the one on the hook here - I'm just believing what God's word already said. If that's impudent, color me "marked by cocky boldness".

So now - does this mean that I have great faith, or does it mean I've gone off the deep end? The answer to that is "neither". I've got no more faith than any other person on this planet, and actually much less than most. I just find myself in a position where I have to - and I mean HAVE TO - believe that God's word is true and that He actually meant what He said when He said it. 

Of course, there are those in this community who will say that staking so much on words written on dusty scrolls by a bunch of fishermen 2000 years ago is a pretty good sign of madness; and it's OK to think that, given a particular point of view. But that point of view is A) not mine, and B) wrong. (Sorry, there's just no other way to say that. I don't mean to offend, it's just truth.) The words to which I refer aren't the words of some fisherman or tax collector or Jewish zealot - they are the words of the living and powerful God - the only one, actually. And His words stand or fall by His own faithfulness. True, my world collapses if God is not faithful to His own word. But that's not going to happen, because He cannot break faith. Because He cannot break faith, He won't break faith. And so, unless He shows me otherwise, I have to obediently be cheeky and continue to ask for Connor's full restoration.

And so we continue banging on the door in the middle of the night. Not only that, but all the other neighbors (that's y'all, in this case) have heard the ruckus and have stuck your heads out of the windows to see what's going on (not unlike Mrs. Kravitz across the street from the Stevens' house). Some of you are watching to see how long I bang on the door before I give up. Some of you are wondering if my Neighbor is going to ever open the door. And some of you just wish I'd quit making all the racket so you could go back to sleep.

But all of you will glorify the name of God when He opens the door. Me too.

Now, what about faith? There are two kinds of faith in this world, I think. It seems to me that there's the kind of faith we have when we trust that God's word is true, repent of our sins and re-turn to our relationship with God through Christ Jesus by faith. Call it "salvation faith" if you like. Then, there's the "mustard seed" kind of faith, the kind that Peter exercised when he hopped out of a boat and stood shakily on top of a lake, or the kind that supported the statement "I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!" That's the kind of faith that interests me - the kind that prompts a man to stake everything on nailing a list of 95 theses to a church door, or causes a man to go back to the tribe of savages who murdered his father in order that they might know God. I grew up knowing the first kind of faith. Now I want to know the other kind. Don't you?

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 118 - October 11 - A Singular Day

Yesterday (sorry, I was too tired to post last night) was a pretty good day, all around. First, Connor went on his first outing away from the hospital in four months. We loaded up in a van with our OT and went to an ice cream store down the street. It was a bit of an experience for all of us - getting used to different ways of doing ordinary things, like parking, for example. Connor felt pretty self-conscious, and I for one was confronted with how I used to see (or not see, as the case may be) people with handicaps before this situation. It was interesting that I would never have thought so beforehand, but I used to unintentionally snub people in wheelchairs because they were different from me. Now that the shoe's on the other foot, it is quite apparent that most people are very uncomfortable with wheelchairs because they don't really know how to interact, so they choose not to. It's a weird experience...

Anyway, the other thing we found was how poorly the world is arranged for folks who rely on wheels instead of feet. A two-inch threshold almost proved our undoing, and nearly prevented us from even entering the store once we got there. In early June I would have stepped across that threshold without even noticing it - now it is a barrier that had to be negotiated to accomplish something as simple as ordering ice cream. So our world changes yet again...

Once we got back to the hospital, Cherié and Joélle headed home, but walked back in a moment later with a group of people in tow. Turns out that we were having a distinguished visitor and didn't even know it! Mike and Kim Singletary had decided to stop by and pay the boy a visit, and so we visited and chatted for a bit while Mike and Connor spoke together and prayed. Normally I wouldn't make such a big deal about visitors on this blog, but I wanted to acknowledge their support for Connor and our family and say "thank you" to them publicly. It means much when someone your son looks up to makes time to acknowledge him. Connor was really uplifted and encouraged by their visit, as were we all. So thank you, Mike and Kim, for thinking of the boy and lifting him up. Your support cheered Connor immensely.

The boy and I spoke at length last night about the people - all of you included - who are supporting us. We wish there was some way to recognize how much all the prayer and support we've received means to us, but there just isn't. I guess we'll just wait until we stand together in glory, and Connor, Joélle, Cherié and I will have eternity to make our way around to each of you to express our gratitude personally.

This week is "crunch week" for us - please be praying for us and all the myriad of details that have to fall in place for Connor to come home. We know the Lord will provide, but we also tend to run around like the proverbial chicken, trying to manage everything on the plate. We covet your continued prayers.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 117 - October 10 - Now it's Cherie's turn!

Today, for those who might not already know, is my bride's birthday. She is spending it like every other day these days - scurrying between appointments and the hospital, trying to be everywhere at once, trying to meet everyone's needs, and being remarkably successful at it.

Unfortunately for her, today is also a busy one for all the things that are waiting to happen - meetings with therapists, appointments for inspections, and Connor's first outing away from a hospital in almost four months (more about that later). Apparently, the hospital doesn't know it's her birthday! So Cherié accurately feels that she doesn't have any time today. That being the case, I'm writing this to her -

My bride, you impress me every day. You astonish me with your ability to keep going and going and going, with little rest and no relief. You make light of the difficulties of the day, shrugging them off with a mother's love and shouldering past them like a bear protecting her cub. I love you for being able to step up to the plate so effectively - far more so than I - and face the challenges of our days. Your smile lightens my load, as I hope mine does for you. Though I rarely get to see you, I cherish the moments we have, even when we're just in a hospital room together.

On your birthday today, my wish is that you might be lifted up in your spirit. I pray that you might have peace in the midst of the chaos we live. I hope that you might be overjoyed as your fondest hopes are granted. And I trust that you will rest in the faithfulness of Christ, knowing that it is OK for you to relax for a little while and rest.

I love you, my bride. I pray for you all the time, and I thank God for you constantly.

I am pleased and honored to be called your husband.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 116 - October 9 - Preparations

A day filled with preparations, that's what today was. It's hard to believe all the details that have to be addressed in order to bring your own child home!

I don't have too much to report today, except about what happened this evening. Tonight, I was reading to Connor while Cherie massaged his neck and shoulders, stroked his hair and snuggled close to him. As she was rubbing his shoulders, she trailed her fingers across his chest - and he felt it. Just a light touch, just below the collarbones, and he felt it.

8-D

So we continue to pray, thanking God for each new thing. Thanks, Abba.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 115 - October 8 - Something new

I'm sitting in Connor's room, blogging while the boy falls asleep. I'll keep this short. This evening I was checking Connor's chest for congestion (by gently pressing on his chest to feel the air moving into and out of his lungs) and he suddenly exclaimed "Dad!". I looked into his face and he said "Do that again!", so I pushed on his left chest and he said "I feel that!"

I don't have the words to describe how that makes me feel, to hear those words. We experimented and found a spot near his armpit below his collar bone where he feels and can identify pressure. Not gentle touches yet, but by pressing moderately on his chest he can feel me doing it.

I praise God because of this. This is a new thing. I believe it is an answer to our prayers. We give Him glory and honor and praise for His working in the boy. I believe the Lord is going to fully restore Connor in this life, and I believe this is a sign of that progression. Praise the Lord!

In addition to telling you about this news, I will also ask that you continue to lift each of us up as we struggle to get ready for the boy to come home. I can't believe it's only a week or so away...

Finally, I've been asked to consider another day of fasting for those who want to take part. The originally suggested date is now so close that it's too close, if you know what I mean. So I'd like to offer up Monday 10/13 as a day where we can corporately pray and fast, lifting up the boy in prayer. If you have comments or suggestions, please post them up.

God is good. All the time.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 114 - October 7 - A Special Thanks

Today a new phase of life began for us - the "construction phase". A number of friends, family members, and acquaintances have undertaken to design and build an addition to our home so Connor can have a comfortable and safe place on our first floor, and they broke ground this morning on this endeavor. I wanted to publicly thank these people, whose names I'm not going to mention right now, for their willingness to step out on faith to come alongside us in this. These men and women have purposed to ensure that the boy is provided for at our home, and they are going WAAAY beyond the call of duty (but they won't listen to me when I tell them that!).

What they are doing is building a small addition onto the side of our house - an addition that will have access to both the front and back yards, a room big enough for Connor and all the equipment, and a bathroom. It will be connected directly to our living spaces, visible from the kitchen, and will allow him to be in company with us while we are able to be there for him.

So I wanted to publicly thank these folks - the ones who came up with the idea; the ones who planned and reviewed and approved the plans; the ones doing the construction; the many folks who are working feverishly to help us with the funds to pay for it; and the ones who are helping with materials - you are each being the hands and feet of God to us, and we are grateful. Thank you each so much.

Eric (for all four of us)

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 113 - October 6 - Remember the Roller Coaster?

Good news, bad news, ups, downs, sideways, stops, starts, and even a few back-ups - welcome to our world!

OK, I'm probably over-dramatizing, but still, it amazes me how many changes can happen in a few hours and everything still be the same at the end of it all.

For example, today the medicos advised us that Connor has pseudamonas (again). We're fortunate at this time in that they aren't putting us back in isolation (yet), but are rather continuing the massive anti-biotics doses the boy is already getting.

Later, Connor was at a peer group meeting when he complained to his mom and OT that his right wrist and hand were hurting badly. When they checked his hand, they found a spot that was getting too much pressure and looked like it was pinched and sore. It was right where he told them his hand was hurting.

He also has apparently found a more comfortable way of speaking, by just deflating his trach cuff instead of using the Passy Muir valve. Since he's more comfortable that way, he will do it more often. That's good, as it's one of the things he needs to be able to do before they'll let him come home.

Please continue to pray - for health, for healing, for strength for each day. Pray for wisdom and enough hours in the days to do what's necessary. Pray that we get more rest than the hours of sleep we get, too! It's 1215, and I've got to get up in six hours. Woohoo - sleeping in!!! 8-)

Goodnight, y'all. God bless you.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 113 - October 6 - A new week

Well, it's Monday morning, and we are in the process of getting another week started - Cherié's getting ready to head up to see Connor, Joélle's been at work since 0530, and I'm trying to get something up on the blog before I head to work for the day. First, I wanted to say "thank you" for all of your words of encouragement to Joélle yesterday. She had a great day with her brother and a number of friends who came up to the hospital yesterday afternoon. We spent a few hours together outside under a gazebo, having pizza and cake, opening presents, and generally laughing and having a good time. Since Joélle and Connor are so close, they have many, many friends in common, and so it was pretty much just a great family time with the addition of all our surrogate children.

Children, hah. They're all around 20 years old - some "children"!

After everyone went home, Connor and I spent the evening watching TV and reading together. He had another episode of hypothermia and brachycardia, with his temp dropping to 95.3 and his heart rate slowing again to the low 50s. We were able to arrest it sooner this time and so it wasn't as severe, but still...

This week will be a big push of efforts for us - more paperwork, construction issues on the house, inspections from the equipment providers, tests to see how we're progressing in our ability to care for the boy - added, of course, to all our "normal" responsibilities to family, work, and everything else. I use the word "exhausted" a lot, but it seems to be the only word that really describes our physical state. We continue to step forward, but in many senses it's really more plodding than stepping!

Thank you for your continued prayers. My prayer for you all this week is that you would have a glimpse of understanding into how God is working in your own lives through all of this, and that you would have reason to praise Him for it.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 112 - October 5 - Happy Birthday, Joélle!

Today is Joélle's twentieth birthday. Most of us don't think about how we're going to spend our next birthday, and Joélle certainly couldn't have anticipated that her 20th would be at the hospital with her brother.

Joélle has been a trooper - at her brother's side, and supporting her parents since day one. Take a few minutes and wish her a Happy Birthday!

They say you only need about 30 people in a room to have a significant probability that two of you share a common birth date. Anybody else out there born on October 5th?

Brad

Michigan
----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 111 - October 4 - Cold

I got to the hospital this morning to find that Connor's temperature was 93 degrees Fahrenheit and his heart rate was 42. The solution to that was to swath him in heated blankets and force feed him warm liquids to raise his core temperature, which took about three hours. We finally got it back to normal, and his heart beat came back up too.

I don't know why this is happening. It shakes us all up, as there doesn't seem to be any control over it, there's no cure to make it stop, and it's considered "normal" by the staff, as in "that happens a lot with SCI patients" - as if that somehow alleviates all our concerns. If this continues, I can envision the local paramedics getting a lot of workouts to come running to our house when his heart rate drops so dramatically.

Because of these anomalies, Connor didn't get any therapy done today, but rather stayed in his bed trying to get warm. He was, however, complaining that the incision sites from Wednesday's surgery were giving him sharp pains, to the point where he asked the nurse for some pain medication. I told him that this was a good thing - new sensation in a different part of his body, particularly sensation that he could localize. He also spoke about sensing his arm a bit, although he still can't feel it or move it. Still and all, we praise God for any sensation as we continue to ask for the boy's full restoration.

Cherié stayed with Connor this evening, and they're doing pretty good except for all the exhaustion going around! Connor also visited for a few minutes with a friend he hadn't seen in a year or so, which he enjoyed.

So our big prayer request for today, right after our pleas for Connor's 100% healing, would be that God would stabilize Connor's heart and temperature. Since those things are part of the autonomic system, along with his breathing, we are asking for the Lord to intervene specifically with that to restore Connor's breath, to stabilize his heart, and to regulate his temperature correctly. Please be praying with us...

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 110 - October 3 - Another Day

Today, Connor and Joelle, along with their friend Josh, spent the day together listening to music, laughing, and watching movies. While they spent the day goofing off, Cherie and I were able to take a bit of time together away from the hospital. This was good for all concerned.

The day we take Connor back home is getting closer. Please be praying for us as we scramble to get all our ducks in a row. In addition to concerns about the house, concerns about Connor's health, concerns about insurance and concerns about transportation, Cherie and I also have to learn everything that the nurses, respiratory therapists, physical therapists and occupational therapists are currently doing to keep Connor healthy and improving. As you can imagine, this can be very overwhelming. In fact, in my opinion, any one of these things is overwhelming! Cherie begins classes on Monday to learn respiratory therapy. The brunt of these efforts is falling on her because of my work schedule, but I've got to be able to cover the bases too. Please be lifting Cherie up as she strives to learn all these things, stay healthy herself, continue to care for Connor and also keep her home and family working smoothly as well.

I'm not really sure how we're supposed to do all this stuff. We're now being asked by one group to be at the hospital first thing in the morning so they can teach us something, and then we're asked by another group to be there late at night to learn a different thing. While covering those bases, we're also supposed to be shopping for an accessible van, figuring out what's next for the house plans, and stocking cabinets with linens, supplies, and all the sundries that go along with turning a house into a hospital.

In the midst of this chaos, we've been exceedingly blessed with many, many people who are going WAAAAY out of their way to help us - it looks like our home is going to be totally taken care of by some amazing, amazing friends; meals are being coordinated by a dear sister here in MoHill; and every single one of our needs continues to be met by our sovereign Lord. And in the midst of it all, we find ourselves continually lifting up a young man who desperately needs God to stretch out His hand.

As you can see, I am still beating the same old drum, that we need your prayers. But I also know that you can be counted upon. God bless you for that.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 109 - October 2 - The saga continues

I got a call from Cherie this morning that Connor's heart rate was dropping while he was asleep, down into the low 40s. It's back up into the normal range now, but it's just another thing facing my son. He is so big, and looks so strong and healthy, that I forget quite easily how fragile Connor's health really is.

I was particularly weighed down this morning with a thought that had struck me yesterday, so I'll mention it. I was thinking about the phrase that God "gives and takes away", and I was thinking about how God gave Connor breath, and now He has removed it from Connor while continuing to sustain his life. That leads me to believe that God has greater plans for Connor than this current state - if He had wanted to take Connor home when He took away Connor's breath, the necessary equipment to sustain his life would not have been available at the right times. Does that make any sense?

The difficult thing for Connor, and for us all, is that it is Connor's great desire to be able to sing again. Even had the pacer surgery worked, that in and of itself would not have let Connor sing. Speak, yes, but not really sing the way Connor desires. So God has taken away Connor's breath, the breath He Himself gave in the first place, and put Connor in a place where he cannot give voice to his praise and his prayers - until God gives the breath back.

So today, I would ask that you make special mention of Connor's longing to be able to sing praises again as you pray.

God bless you,

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 108 - October 1 - Evening thoughts

Joélle and I are back home tonight, while Cherié is spending the night at the hospital with Connor. He and she are doing well - I just spoke with them and he's in good spirits as they get ready for sleep. Joélle is as even-keeled as she always is, and I - well, I've been feeling the clutches of anxiety and panic this evening. We immediately started to lift that up in prayer, because my head knows the truth - but every once in a while my primitive brain (or my limbic system or my emotional child or somebody) decides that it's time to panic. It seems that we spend much of our time fighting off lies, or getting disentangled from lies, or wrestling with what turn out to be lies. Lots of lying going on in my head, and it gets overwhelming. Clinging to the truth is exactly that - clinging, and that's pretty hard to do for any period of time. You can help by praying that we would have discernment to know the truth, since that's what's going to set us free anyway.

I noticed that someone made a comment today about how their faith goes from weak to strong to weak seemingly instantaneously. Let me say that mine's the same way (I really need to get moving on the next part of the Atrophied Faith series!). One of the things I've been thinking about in that regard, however, is that strengthening my faith is a lot like learning to do fine muscle control with a muscle that's only seen large motor control. Try to pick up an egg with your toes and legs sometime - you surely have the strength to pick up such a small thing, and yet you don't have the control. So what you end up with is either a crushed egg or these broad, sweeping movements of your leg muscles as you try to daintily place the egg back down. What you have is strength, but not finesse.

Faith, at least my faith, seems to be like that. Sometimes I seem to have the faith thing wired. Then something comes along around whatever the issue is, and I'm suddenly struggling to believe. What I'm hoping is that just like practicing the art of egg-lifting with my toes would improve my ability to do so, so also will exercising my faith result in stronger faith and better control of it. As that arises, it seems likely that there will be less fluctuation and more steadfastness. Here's hoping, anyway.

Please be praying for the preparations to bring Connor home - I don't know what the projected schedule looks like since the surgery turned out the way it did, but we weren't that far from bringing him home anyway. We've got much to do before we're ready to get him here, and not much time to do it.

We are really looking forward to what God's going to do in and through the boy. Thank you for sticking with us in this. We love y'all.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 108 - October 1 - Connor's Thoughts

OK, all of us were sitting in Connor's room just now, singing along to the words of Barlow Girl's "Never Alone" (Joelle just told me not to tell you that, because "Connor will lose his masculinity" 8-D )(to which Connor said "I don't care - I'm going to play this for you, and you can sing it"). Anyway, when we had finished with the song, Connor said "You know, in the back of my mind, I always thought that God didn't want me to have the pacer anyway. So many people have been praying that I would breathe apart from the pacer, so why worry?"

Sorry, I just had to stop and blog that. Like usual, Connor displays a greater understanding of God's provision than I.

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 108 - October 1 - Surgery

Connor has come out of surgery. While he is healthy and came out of the surgery itself well, the procedure was unsuccessful. In fact, they didn't even do the procedure after they tested Connor's diaphragm. Upon testing, they found very little response in his diaphragm, which translates into "his phrenic nerve is damaged". What this means is that they can't stimulate the nerve to make the diaphragm work, so there is no reason to install something that isn't going to work.

Needless to say, this is a bit disappointing. Connor's biggest fear, going into the surgery, was that it wouldn't work - and that is where we are now. So he and I have talked about what this means together, and now he is resting and sleeping off the anesthesia.

What DOES it mean? Well, the first thing I thought was "Well, our hope isn't in machines anyway." My second thought was "Well, we were thinking of this as a temporary thing until God restores Connor fully". And my third thought was "Well, I didn't really want the doctors to get the glory anyway - I want God to get the glory."

Truthfully, this is disappointing, but we are reminding ourselves that we are sitting squarely in the middle of God's plan for us. We're not especially keen on it at times, but we remind each other that God has a plan for us in all this, and take comfort from that.

Cherie, Joelle and I took a status check after we heard the news. Once we had settled a bit after talking with the doctors, and before we spoke with Connor, I asked each of my girls if they had been told "no" in answer to our continued prayers. None of us sense that we've had our prayer requests denied, and so - we continue to trust that God will be faithful to His word. We continue to lift up our hearts' desire; that God will fully restore Connor, in this life, for His glory. We will trust that God's plan for us is one to prosper us, and not to harm us.

Thank you for your prayers. We continue to pray for you, that God would bless you and teach you as you journey with us through this valley.

Eric

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 108 - October 1 - Connor Out Of Surgery

Eric called, Connor is safely out of surgery and currently in recovery. The surgery itself was not successful, as they were not able to implant the diaphragmatic pace maker. Connor's diaphragm does not appear to be functioning, contrary to what had previously been identified.

When the medical staff can't explain why things are the way they are, expect that God is up to something big. Pray for Connor and family, especially Eric. It is easy to be disappointed and discouraged when your hopes are not fulfilled. Pray for strength for all to 'belly up' and honor the God that is walking them through this.

Brad

Michigan

----------------------------------------
Print This Page

Day 107 - September 30 - Granny's Perspective

I read this entry in the Guestbook from Connor's grandmother on the events of yesterday. It is both a reminder and an encouragement that when we seek evidence of God at work, we will find it everywhere.

So with apologies to Grannyp for promoting her to the blog without her knowledge, here it is.

Just returned home from the hospital. Connor had a full day with lots of great young friends, that made him laugh, and he made them laugh with his antics. We followed him around the grounds with his sip and puff, he is really good at driving that thing. Then we played apples to apples as part of his therapy with another patient. They hold the card with a stick with pinchers, using their mouth. Grannyp won! He did well. The Dr. flew in from Iceland this p.m. and met Connor. He said Connor is in great shape physically, and noted that should apply to his diaphragm as well, so we all were encouraged. He has done 50 surgeries, and 49 are off the ventilator! Praise God. So please pray early tomorrow. 7 a.m. he will be taken into surgery. - Grannyp (Sherri Patterson)

Celebrate with us in this news, even as Connor is in surgery.

Brad

Michigan

----------------------------------------
Print This Page