Day 15 - June 30 - Answers to prayer

A quick post to update you and see if I can post from my iPhone.

Connor's saturation remains at 98 on 85% oxygen, still in the Roto-Pedic. His right lung continues to show congestion, but they are getting lots of stuff out of his lungs, which is an answer to prayer. Thank you, Lord!

The neurosurgery team cleared Connor today to take his cervical collar off! There's some question if it is "for a while" or "for good", but the sense I got 2nd hand was that he didn't have to wear it anymore! He certainly didn't have it on this afternoon!

So, some good news today. Please continue to lift the boy up for his full restoration. It's exciting to watch God work!

Day 15 - June 30 - More lung procedures

At 2 PM PDT, the surgeons are going to do another procedure on Connor, where they drive a tiny camera down into his lungs and suction them out. This is a procedure that would appeal to Cherié, with her passion for vacuuming! Seriously, this has it's obvious risks and concerns, but also gives the doctors a chance to actually see much of what's going on in Connor's lungs while grabbing as much of this stuff as possible.

Please be praying that the doctors would be able to get the rest of this stuff out of his lungs, and that they will be amazed at how much progress Connor is making. Pray that the results of this procedure would translate into a significantly shorter period of time in the Roto-pedic, as well as a significantly shorter duration on the ventilator.

Please also pray that the procedure itself would be done correctly, safely and efficiently - that the doctors would know what to do and what not to do.

Also, this is a good time to publicly thank all the very professional health care providers who are taking such good care of the boy. I thank God for each of them; for the knowledge, skills and abilities that He has placed in them; and for their continued dedication to taking care of Connor when we are unable to do so. If I start mentioning names, I'll forget someone, and I don't want to do that. So, from a couple of very grateful parents, thank you for caring for our son.

Day 15 - June 30 - Despatch from the front

Quick updates on a number of items -

First, we got the call at 0130 that they were going to put Connor on this new bed. He gets to hang on his belly for three out of every four hours. The bed looks like a cross between one of those pressing machines at a dry-cleaners and the pod that Neo climbs out of in The Matrix.  OK, maybe not as goopy, but it's still pretty intimidating. Anyway, after we got the call, we (surprisingly) didn't get an overwhelming need to rush to the hospital. We began to pray about the boy, and felt a peace that God was taking care of him. Cherie had Phillipians 1:6 impressed on her, that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Every time I came close to consciousness, I heard the first verse of "A Shelter in the Time of Storm" - and we spent the rest of the night resting in confidence provided by the Lord.

When I got to the hospital this morning, my extended family tried to head me off as I went to see Connor. I told them it was OK and that I wanted to spend some time with him by myself. When I went into the room, the nurse tried to head me off too. Apparently, everybody here thought that seeing this newfangled machine was going to depress me - and I can see why they would think that. What they didn't know, however, was how God had carried me all night. Seeing Connor's numbers only confirmed what I had been confident of all night - that God was using this machine to accomplish the answer to prayers we'd been praying the last few days. His saturation is in the high 90s and his O2 has been tweaked down to 90%. How's that for an answer to prayer?

Please continue to lift Connor up - that his lungs would recover sufficiently enough to get back into a normal bed and begin weaning off the respirator.

Briefly, on other fronts -

Cherié's heart is fine, confirmed by a cardiologist. They are running bloodwork to make sure everything else is OK too, and we're trying to reduce her stress level as much as possible.

Joélle's issues with Moody have been resolved, although not exactly as she would have liked. Still, she will be able to take a leave of absence from the school and return to her program of study in the Spring semester. Thank you to all you who took steps to help us get this straightened out. A particularly heartfelt "Thanks, brother" to the Dean of Undergraduate Studies at MBI for his compassion and assistance.

Please pray that we'll know what to do about me going back to work. I can't stay out indefinitely, yet dread being that far from the family. Not to mention the awkward fact that many there have been following my journey here, recognize that I'm not the same man that left a few weeks ago, and will be watching to see if my words here will have any truth in the "real" world.

Please pray that we could get the boy close to home soon, and into the best possible place for him.

I'm sure the ride has more surprises coming - hold fast.

Day 15 - June 30 - Twofold Update

Thanks to everyone that jumped in to help with Joélle's Moody registration. There are still things to sort out, but the deadline is no longer a stress-producing issue. Eric can better explain how things were resolved, since I'm getting it third-hand, but it appears a satisfactory conclusion has been reached.

Good news with Connor, too! Apparently, being tumbled about like a bedspread in a dryer (it's not really like that, but I like the simile) is good for his lungs, and his O2 saturation seems to be improving.

Continue to pray and be encouraged by small answers to prayer.

Brad
Michigan

Day 15 - June 30 - Joélle at Moody

If all the rest of this wasn't enough, today is the deadline for Joélle to register at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago for distance learning for the next semester. She attended at the Chicago campus the last two years, but now has decided to stay in Morgan Hill for the next one.

Having a deadline in the midst of the Connor crisis is creating stress that Eric and Cherié are having to wrestle with in addition to everything else. We are hoping to get some assistance with communicating with Moody in a way that Joélle can commit but get some kind of extension or variance on the actual registration.

My wife, Margaret, is attempting to track down the people at Moody who can make those decisions. Pray that Moody would be flexible enough to accommodate the situation, and that Margaret could find the right folks at the right time.

If you know anybody there or can offer some help, please contact Margaret through the Contact page.

Brad
Michigan

Day 15 - June 30 - Morning Report

Eric just called with a status report.

Connor's condition has worsened to some degree over the night. His oxygen saturation continues to drop as the condition in his lungs deteriorates. While this may just be one of the many dips on the roller-coaster, the medical staff is concerned enough that they have transferred him to a different kind of bed, one that rotates him completely, as opposed to the one that was just rocking him. So now he gets completely rolled over, which sounds like fun if you are 14 and healthy, but not so much for Connor.

As you can imagine, for Eric and Cherié it brings discouragement and despair. God did grant a bit of relief during the night, however, after the staff called Eric at the house at 1:30 a.m., they were spared the sense of urgency to return to the hospital and they were able to pray and doze for the rest of the night. They are preparing to head in as I write.

Pray for Connor's ability to get the oxygen that he needs, and for Eric and Cherié to get the rest and encouragement that they need.

Brad
Michigan

Day 14 - June 29 - Lung Issues

We just left Connor's room after discussions about fluid in his lungs, different respirator settings, and a large assortment of other things. They don't seem to be able to keep his O2 saturation levels up where they need to be, even with 100% oxygen. They are limited by pressurization issues, the fear of his trachea going necrotic due to the trach tube pressures, and his lungs filling with fluid that they can't siphon out. They're doing everything humanly possible, and they're barely keeping his levels at a point where his organs are still safe. As his saturation levels fall, his organs become at risk.  It feels like we're at the point where we need direct intervention from God if Connor is to remain healthy.

Each time they have to move or work with him, he de-saturates, with his levels dropping to the low 80s. High 90s is what they want.

We need some very specific answers to prayer -

- That the fluid would be removed from his lungs 

- That all his organs remain safe and healthy

- That he attains a safe oxygen level and is able to remain oxygenated

- That his breathing capability quickly improve so that he is able to get off of the respirator soon, and with his trachea undamaged

Lord, we thank you ahead of time for the timely answer to these requests. Be honored in us.

Please be lifting Connor up, tonight and continuously. 

Day 14 - June 29 - Roto-bed

A quick update to fill everyone in on the physical situation. The nurses told us late last night that they were concerned that Connor's lung had collapsed. After praying about that, the X-rays came back showing that nothing had collapsed. Praise the Lord!

 

The staff is very concerned about the condition of his lungs, with all sorts of "stuff" accumulating in them and preventing his saturation levels from rising to the desired levels. They finally decided to place him in a thing called a roto-bed, which doesn't really "roto"; it's more of a rocking motion. It moves slowly back and forth like if you were on a really, really large ship. They should call it a rocko-bed, except that then we'd all think it was something Elvis owned. Anyway, he's in this machine that keeps his lungs moving from side to side, which is intended to loosen up the stuff in there. While he's on this bed, they have to keep him more heavily sedated. We've been told he would need to be on this thing for two or three weeks. We take that report and hand it to our Advocate for Him to take care of. We're praying that it's a matter of days, not weeks.

Continue to lift him up. He needs it.

Day 14 - June 29 - This means war

I've mentioned before the sense of oppression that hangs over this hospital. I haven't mentioned what's been going on around here specifically, for fear that you all would think I was a lunatic. Well, I'm past that - you can think I'm insane if you like, but you need to know that I'm sitting in the middle of a pretty intense spiritual battle. For all I know, it may only be a spiritual skirmish, but from my point of view it seems more like a full-blown engagement.

I won't get into a theological discussion about spiritual adversaries - if you believe the Bible is true, you must accept the existence of evil forces arrayed against anyone who claims the name of Christ. What I will tell you now is what's been going on over the last few days.

The first two nights we slept in the little room the hospital provided, I awoke in the middle of the night in the throes of despair. The third and fourth nights we slept there, we claimed the protection of the name of Jesus Christ over that room and Connor's, rebuking Satan in Jesus' name to stake out a safe territory for His children. Both of those nights we slept soundly. On the afternoon after the third night, I became overwhelmed with the sense of oppression surrounding the hospital, and began mentally walking the grounds of the building, praying and staking out territory for Christ to work, rebuking the influence of Satan in the name of Christ. On the morning after the fourth night, the hospital took the room away from us.

Last night, our daughter came under attack in the middle of the night. She had a dream where dark creatures were holding her down in her bed, pressing her into the mattress as they mocked her and laughed at her distress. She was watching as a third person, seeing herself struggle against these things and calling out to us. They were laughing and saying "they can't help you, they're in the other room". She began praying out loud in her sleep, and at the name of Jesus she came awake and bolt upright. She came to our room and woke us, and we gathered together to rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus, binding him from the house, and calling protection to Connor's room and around all of us.

You can think what you want - coincidence, indigestion, whatever - but this happened, it continues, and it is consistent with what I know about spiritual matters. I draw comfort from the fact that enemies don't attack where they don't need to, but rather they face off against things that threaten. I am convinced that God is doing a mighty work here, something bigger than all of us, and the bad guys don't like it and are trying to stop it.

Here's the choices - you can shrug your shoulders, say that Eric has finally gone off the deep end, and ignore this. Or, you can step into the fray and fly Combat Prayer Patrol for us. We need the physical, spiritual and emotional protection that comes from God alone. We need spiritual help to meet spiritual threats. We need to be able to rest in the peace of God in the midst of a battle, so we can think, so we can pray, so we can fight.

Thank you for your prayer coverage.

Day 13/14 - June 28/29 - Sitrep

Sitrep. Back when I was driving submarines for the North Pacific Yacht Club, we reported our status by situation reports...sitreps. Everything was abbreviated or acronym-ed, I think it was actually a law in the Navy. So when the phone rang at 'oh-dark-thirty', as we used to say, I dumped about two quarts of adrenaline trying to figure out who I was, where I was, what I was doing there, and how to stop that infernal ringing. Since that core experience was central to my years in the Nav', I seem to fall back on the old, ingrained habits.

Sitrep. It was Eric. Connor has hit another bump in the road. Whenever he gets moved or adjusted, his oxygen saturation drops, and that's not good. It means there is/are problems in his lungs. Complications from the lake water, pneumonia, collapsed lung or lobes, at this point the staff isn't sure, but they are taking x-rays, etc., to find out.

It also means that Connor is being transferred to a rotating (?) bed of some sort that will allow him to be turned, rotated, folded, bent, spindled, and whatever as necessary to improve the situation with his lungs. Though we don't know the specifics, you can bet that it isn't going to be any joy ride, but it does seem necessary.

Don't know much more, other than Eric and Cherié have to struggle with this news, and Connor has to adapt while his lungs are worked on.

Pray for Connor - improved oxygen uptake, clear lungs, no collapsed lobes or lungs, comfort and rest, no depression, and courage to face the next hurdle.

Pray for the family - peace that surpasses all understanding, confidence in God and the actions of the staff, courage to stand beside Connor regardless of what comes next.

Brad
Michigan

Day 13 - June 28 - Wavering

OK, I don't know where to start.

Maybe at the beginning. Connor has been wrestling with despair today - like father, like son, I guess. I spoke at length with him about hope and faith - I told him of the words of hope we've received this past couple of weeks; I told him the things that many of you have said. I encouraged him with words of scripture, and with song, and we prayed together for strength in the face of this trial. I promised him that he and I would walk through this together, and you could see him set his face to the challenge again. It was both heartening and heart-rending at the same time.

I came out to the waiting room while some of Connor's friends visited with him (I think they were watching "Men in Black"). I fought against the welling loss of hope as the lie spread in my mind - "The website is over. All these people will have lost interest and left by this time next week. You'll be all alone before too long". Yes, I know it's a lie from the pit. Yes, I have to struggle to defeat it.

I go back in to see the boy. I tell him how much he encourages me and helps me in this time, too. His eyebrows raise - this is something he hasn't thought about, even though I'm telling him how much his story is moving people.

He hams for the camera a bit, spirits lifted again.

I come back to the waiting room to give Cherié some time with the boy. I doze off for a bit, and awake in a black and foul mood. I decide I'd better post this post, and as I type the word "Wavering" in the title, a pastor walks up and begins to talk to me. He's going on about how he's helped lots of people through the years in these kinds of situations, and I'm thinking "Yeah, right - ever have one of your own children paralyzed from the neck down?" I wring my hands together, wishing he'd go away and let me type. He keeps talking. I'm on the verge of asking him to leave me alone when I hear what he's saying - talking about how God tells us to cling to His promises; to believe that what we ask of Him is going to happen; how faith is an act of perceiving as reality that which hasn't been revealed to the senses. I got to thinking about how close to the edge I was - how close to giving up I was - how much I wanted to just let go. And I got to thinking (again) about a daily ration of manna, even from an unexpected source.

To paraphrase the Apostle Paul, O wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this perpetual torment?

Psalm 121 - A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you - the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Day 13 - June 28 - Perspective

I've had a few people call today to find out what is going on, since I didn't post this morning. I told them I had, and after checking again they saw the previous post. It dawned on me what was going on, so I thought I'd better let you know.

As I mentioned last night, Cherié and I are now staying in a host home about 15-20 minutes from the hospital. The house has no internet access (GASP!!!). I hadn't thought about it, but I've been in the habit of posting either late at night or first thing in the morning, which was easier at the hospital where I have full wireless access. Unfortunately, due to the situation at the house, I can't even check the comments on the blog there, much less post new data. So this morning I thought "I'll post at the hospital after I know what's going on", forgetting that many of you check on in the morning and evening due to your work schedules. I don't have the resources, time, and energy to try to arrange for internet access at the house, so for the short term I'm only going to be able to post while I'm here at the hospital.

I'm not telling you this because I'm looking the proverbial gift horse in the mouth, but rather so you can bear with me as my posts become somewhat restricted, time-wise. Access is not critical right now, and the home that we're in is a magnificent, gracious gift from some very dear people. I thank the Lord for them and for their offer.

I will continue to offer up all the information I have - but the timing of the posts may not be ideal. Please have patience and bear with me.

Day 13 - June 28 - A Small Step...

I spoke with the nurse at length about Connor's current condition. His neck is stabilized; he has his trach and his peg (feeding tube); and they are working on his pneumonia. Once they get his lung condition where they want it, he could be considered stable. Yesterday they had him on 100% oxygen to keep his saturation up - this morning it is at 50% and his saturation is still good. The nurse says that the desired level is below 40%, so we're almost there.

Once we get there, the rehab folks will get to work. On Monday we will meet with the discharge people to begin figuring out the whens, whats, and wheres for getting the boy closer to home. Be praying that God would be preparing the perfect spot for Connor closer to home - we have our eyes on Valley Medical Center, but God knows better than us. Please be praying that the perfect spot for Connor is available when the time comes. I'm praying that the perfect spot for him is upstairs in his own room at home.

Connor was asleep when I went in to see him today (how rude!), so I haven't spoken with him this morning. His granny says that he had a full night's sleep and is still resting peacefully, which is all good.

 

Prayer needs for this morning - that God would encourage Connor, teaching and comforting the boy with His word; that Cherie would remain healthy and encouraged; that our family would be strengthened through this trial, and not damaged; that God would see fit to restore Connor fully, with full use of his body and limbs, for His glory.

Let's go see what today brings...

Day 12 - June 27 - Day's End

Another day draws to a close. Connor now has a tracheotomy tube, a feeding tube in his stomach, and is in good spirits. We were having a bit of trouble trying to read his lips tonight, and his rolled eyes and grins showed that his parents are already trying his patience as we try to figure out what he's trying to tell us.  There's a prayer request - that he would not grow frustrated at the difficulties we'll face as we learn to communicate with him.

All in all, a day of some improvement. I continue to pray for his complete restoration, and I hope you are too. I find it too easy to rely on the medical stuff, so I continually gird myself to pray and plead for my son.

 

Tonight will be the first night that both Cherié and I will be removed from the immediate hospital environment. We will be staying about 20 minutes away at our host's home, which is further than we are comfortable being away. Although it will be difficult to be that far, we will enjoy being able to have a few minutes with Joélle. Cherié has a strong desire to grab both of her children, pull them close and cuddle on a big bed somewhere. Please pray that God would somehow soothe her during this time, and that it would not be long before she is granted that desire. Her mother's heart is aching for her kids.

Please pray for continued protection for Connor, and comfort for all of us tonight. Pray for continued improvement in Connor's physical condition - lungs, heart, nerves, muscles and mind. Pray for his spiritual comfort - that God would be his strong tower each step of this journey. And please continue to pray for God's miraculous touch on Connor's body. I desire to be like the centurion - 

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. "Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering." Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him." The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it." 

Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go! It will be done just as you believed it would." And his servant was healed at that very hour.

- Matthew 8:5-9, 13

This is my prayer tonight.

Day 12 - June 27 - Worship

I began writing an update about Connor's tracheotomy, but this is much more interesting. Quickly, Connor is so big they had to go back and put in a bigger trach tube, because the first one was too small. He's resting peacefully, sleeping off the sedatives. In his moments of lucidity, he seems pleased to be more comfortable without the tubes. Continue to pray that God would protect his lungs - they have a lot of stuff in them, including what they think is lake water, that they are trying to get out in order to help him breathe better.

God is ministering here in the waiting room as I type. These words were lifted up by Cherié and her guitar-wielding-warrior friend Jeanine just now - 

Blessed be Your name

In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out,

I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name 

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name 

Every blessing You pour out,

I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name 

You give and take away

You give and take away
My heart will choose to say 
Lord, Blessed be Your name 

And all of the people in this room are singing, holding up their hands, worshipping the King. It's almost too much to bear, listening to the praise of the saints - saints who are in the midst of suffering, uncertainty, wrestling with despair, the possible loss of loved ones, and yet they - no, "we" - are weeping and shouting out as we sing "You give and take away, my heart will choose to say 'Lord, blessed be Your name' ". 

You guys are missing it - now we're singing "How great is our God".  I've gotta go...

Day 12 - June 27 - Downloads

Many of you have asked if we have a prayer card or reminder that could be kept prominently somewhere to remind us to pray over Connor and keep him in our thoughts.

We have added a Downloads section to ConnorWatch to make that possible. We have two cards up for you. Nothing fancy, but something you can use as a reminder, a prayer motivator, or simply to give to someone who wants to join all of us in this journey.


Because the road is easier when we don't have to journey alone.

Brad
Michigan






Many thanks to George Cox for his incredible photo of Connor in the ballcap.

Day 12 - June 27 - Encouragement

I had been speaking with Brad yesterday about my concerns while I was back at the house, and he observed that, since we're getting a healthy dose of "nothing happens apart from God's will" this week, it seemed likely that God had arranged for a night alone for me for a reason. Brad suggested that when I pray, I take the time to shut up and listen to what God had for me instead. That sounded like a good idea, so like the dutiful brother I am, I ignored him, praying diligently before I went to bed.

In the middle of the night, I awoke and began praying for the boy. I labored over my requests and concerns, and then decided to just listen to see what God wanted me to know. I told Him I would just listen. There was no thundering (or whispering) voice; the Glory of the Lord didn't shine about me; but as I lay there, a verse was suddenly in my head - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Hmmm, says I. I sure don't feel like it, Lord.

That's when the music started. Not out loud, but deep inside my empty head - "Hold fast, help is on the way. Hold fast, He comes to save the day". Somewhere in my wonder at all this, I slipped back asleep.

God is good, right? So this morning, I awake, fighting against my despair as I get ready to head back to Fresno. During my morning ablations, I suddenly find myself driven to my knees, pleading with my Father for my son. I find myself praying with power and authority, knowing that as His child, I have the right to boldly approach His throne of grace.

Wow, right? So half an hour later, I'm headed down the road, in fear for my son, and I realize that I have no uplifting music in the car - I had recently changed CDs and I had all the Wilson Pickett, George Thorogood, and Golden Earring I needed; but very little of the music that would help. So I switch on the radio, and I hear these words sung by Kutless - "You are my strong tower, a shelter over me".

So my Father provides, a bit at a time, to carry us one more step on the journey.

I didn't make it back to the hospital before they took Connor for his tracheotomy and feeding tube surgery this morning. When I heard that I was going to miss him before he went in, I began to weep as it sank in that Connor hadn't seen his Dad before this procedure. Not a good idea on a highway, but still...

I arrived at the hospital safely, and got to see the boy after the procedure. While he's uncomfortable, I'm lifted by how happy he is to not have tubes in his mouth and nose anymore. The respiratory therapist is struggling to clear the fluids from Connor's lungs; the nurse is telling us that Connor has pneumonia; the doctors have to go back in and place a larger tracheotomy tube because his saturation level isn't coming back up to where it needs to be, which may mean he won't be able to have a speaking valve fitted; the news tosses us to and fro, washing us around on deck like waves pouring over the ship. The Perfect Storm is upon us, crashing about us, tossing us in the wind, burying us under tons of water from which we struggle to arise. We hold fast to our Lifeline, because it's all we have left. To hold on may mean we perish; to let go is to certainly die.

"How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? 

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts 

and every day have sorrow in my heart? 
How long will my enemy triumph over me? 

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. 
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; 

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," 

and my foes will rejoice when I fall. 

But I trust in your unfailing love; 

my heart rejoices in your salvation. 

I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me."

- Psalm 13

Day 12 - June 27 - On His Way to Surgery

Just got off the phone - Connor is on his way to surgery, for the tracheotomy and feeding tube that was planned over the last couple of days.

Eric reported Connor in good spirits, and that the fever of yesterday was not present, both answers to prayer. Doctors have told Connor that they would expect him out of the collar in a few days, and able to be moved to a chair to sit up for a while, which having been on his back staring at the ceiling for the last week and a half, would be a huge blessing.

Pray for success in surgery, pain management for Connor, and continued moments of encouragement.

Like sunbeams through the leaves in a dark forest, each moment of encouragement is savored and enjoyed by the family.

Brad
Michigan

Day 11 - June 26 - Away

As I write this, I am back at my home and away from my boy. I am going to go climb into bed soon, but before I do I want to ask you to pray for Connor tonight. He seems to be struggling with the same despair I wrestle, and his spirits are sinking tonight. Please pray that God would speak words of encouragement and hope to him; that God would comfort him there in the hospital room; that God would protect him from all forms of spiritual attack; and that God would provide for all of Connor's needs. Also, please continue to pray for complete healing, and specifically that God would restore Connor's lung capabilities in time to prevent having to have the tracheotomy, which is scheduled for tomorrow. 

Lord, I ask that you grant my son peace tonight; that you would hold him as a shepherd holds his sheep, and comfort him as a mother comforts a sick child. I ask that you would envelope him in Your grace. Remind him that You are a strong tower; the righteous run in to it and are saved. Protect him from evil intention, from sickness, and from despair. Lift his spirits, and walk closely with him. Carry him when he's weak, but strengthen him with hope. I ask that You would intervene and strengthen his lungs and muscles in such a way that the tracheotomy is unnecessary. Most of all, Lord, I ask that you would restore my son and set him upright again. I pray that you would bring Connor to the place where, standing on his own two feet, he must always remember that he has been redeemed by Your hand twice. I claim his healing in the precious name of Jesus...

Amen. So be it.

Day 11 - June 26 - Another Prayer Request

I forgot to mention that Eric said that the docs are considering giving Connor the tracheotomy tomorrow. Pray this won't be necessary and that he'll be breathing on his own soon.

Day 11 - June 26 - Fever Down & More

I was speaking with Eric on the phone when Joélle beeped in to tell him that Connor's fever has subsided. Another prayer has been answered in the affirmative.

Eric was back home taking care of bills, etc. His plan is to stay there tonight and head back to the hospital in the morning. Pray for the details of life when he, Cherié and Joélle are living 2 and 1/2 hours from home. Things like paying bills can become an issue. Thanks to all the folks who have been taking care of Tank (the dog) and Eric's house. This is a huge help.

Eric spoke at length about his new friend Tod. Tod is the former marine-turned-pastor. He is big, he is black, and he and Eric have become fast friends. Eric spoke of how they have been there for each other at just the right moments. Tod is a great man of prayer and has showed up at this hospital at the perfect moment to encourage and support Eric and Cherié. And it goes both ways. Tod's 22 year-old daughter was driving and was hit from behind and pushed into the path of another vehicle. She has swelling in the brain and is in need of your prayers. Pray also for the new friendships that have formed as the result of two tragedies.

Eric was encouraged by word they received from two different people who had suffered C4/C5 injuries. Both were long recoveries, but both are back on their feet and are living productive lives and pursuing their dreams. Pray for Connor's recovery and healing.

Eric also talked about the "church" that has formed on this blog. Thanks to all of you for making it great place of prayer, scripture, encouragment, teaching, & support. There are those that long for this type of connectedness in their local churches.

Thanks,

Kent
Virginia

Day 11 - June 26 - Fever and infection - prayer needed

Pneumonia and staph infection are moving through the ICU. Connor is now running a fever. Please pray protection for him so that he may devote his energy to healing the important stuff, instead of fighting the other things.

Thank you.

Day 11 - June 26 - God is faithful

The next day. Another step. Connor is alert, feeling some pain, and watching TV a bit. He looks good. I noticed this morning that in his hospital smock coming down to his knees, and pressure boots that look a lot like those sandals that have straps up your calves, he is the spitting image of an Old Testament warrior. He looks like what I imagine one of David's mighty men would look like. You can just picture him rising up and smiting his enemies. It was an encouraging glimpse of the powerful things Connor has ahead of him.

I need to tell you how God is being faithful to us. First, each of you are holding us up in prayer, a great, comforting blanket that wraps around us and soothes our cares. Second, many, many of you are coming forward with offers of physical support in every shape, color and size - sustenance for our physical needs, if you will. Finally, God is with us, speaking to us in His scripture, in songs and hymns, in poetry and the gentle words of fellow believers, and occasionally, through more direct ways. I wanted to tell you about one of these.

Yesterday morning, another family joined us in the waiting room. They were friends and family of a young lady who had been in a car accident. I was feeling oppressed and had been reading scripture when they came in, but stopped to talk with them and pray with them for a bit. Boy, was I surprised to find that God wasn't intending for me to comfort them, but for the young lady's father to minister to me! This fellow, an ex-Marine brother in Christ named Tod, spoke with authority of God's power in these times of trial. His passion and faith filled the waiting room, and I found myself sitting on the floor at his feet as his faith in his God reminded us of God's faithfulness to His children. Wow!

The story gets better - a few minutes later, Cherié came in with the news about Connor's angiogram, along with its potential outcomes. As we scampered down to the other waiting room to pray, I found Tod trotting next to me. About eight of us gathered in the other waiting room and knelt down to pray. I felt like we invaded the waiting room, but as we started to pray a sense of power filled the room. God used Tod to pray powerfully for my son, and I soon found that it wasn't us who had invaded the waiting room, but rather the Spirit of God. I don't think I've ever heard someone pray in such a power- and faith-filled way. It was a fantastic few moments of communion with our Father and my fellow believers, and almost overwhelming. You already know the outcome of the test, but it was most clearly an answer to prayer.

I'm sure you realize that this isn't about Tod - it's about our God. I just wanted to share with you how God is providing for us each moment. It makes me ashamed at how often I find myself wrestling with my despair, when the blatant evidence of God's provision is so clearly laid out around me.

I would ask that you also take time to lift up Tod's daughter, Vanessa. In fact, I've learned through this episode that there are many, many hopeless and struggling people sitting in a hospital near you, right this minute. They need the ministering touch of God's people. Think about it.

Day 11 - June 26 - Thank you

For all the folks who are offering to help, and all the donations that are coming, we say thank you on the behalf of Connor, Eric, Cherié, and Joélle. We, and they, are overwhelmed with your generosity.

While our intention is to thank each and everyone of you personally with a short email at the least, we, like the proverbial sausage maker who backed into the meat grinder, are getting a little behind in our work.

So if you haven't received a thank you from the staff, at least, acknowledging your offer to help or your contribution, you can either be patient for a day or two as we catch up and watch your email, or send us a note saying "What's going on? Didn't you get my email?"

Either way, we are grateful that you're with us on this journey, and we do appreciate your contributions and offers to help.

Whatever you do, don't stop. This is a long journey, and we WILL need your help, if not today, then tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or...

If we can't accept all your offers to help all at once it's because there are many, many, of you who have selflessly offered your time, your meals, your companionship. Some we need to hold in reserve, so prepare yourself for the day when we can truly put you to work. You will always be needed.

Brad
Michigan

Day 11 - June 26 - Attempting to Pray Attention

Just a quick story of praying for Connor.

During his surgery the other day I was in Maryland filming an interview for a project we're working on. The room we were in was jammed with equipment; the camera, the lights, the mics, c-stands, cables, etc., etc. In the center of the room was a pool of light where the talent was seated and I was sitting across from him near the lens of the camera, but out of the way of my camera man.

We were right in the heart of the interview when I found myself praying silently for Connor. The interviewee was in the middle of his response to one of the questions I had asked him and I was not listening to a word he was saying. I'm uncertain how much of his response I missed, because I was unaware of time at that point. I don't know if I lost eye contact with him and thinking back on it later I remembered that sometimes when I pray silently I'll move my lips as I mouth the words. Yikes!

I couldn't help but laugh at that thought, but fortunately the talent seemed none the wiser about it and we wrapped up with the final few questions.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd share an example of praying for Connor when he comes into our minds. He comes to our attention throughout the day for a reason. Don't miss your chance to lift him up.

Kent
Virginia

Day 10 - June 25 - Off the Pace

OK, I went into Connor's room to check on him.  He was completely out, still under the influence of the sedatives from his angio and CT scans, and unresponsive to my voice. I stood there for a few minutes, just looking at his beautiful, freckle-filled face.  As I watched, I glanced at his vital statistics and noticed that his heart rate was steady in the mid-sixties.  Knowing that they have had Connor's pacemaker set to trigger at 45 beats/minute, I glanced at the pacemaker to see its setting - and it wasn't on. Startled, I took a closer look - and there were no wires between the pacemaker and Connor! After looking at the monitor about 15 times to make sure I was really seeing it, I hunted down the nurse. She told me that since Connor had not needed it for a day or so, they had turned it off, and he has been holding steady since then.

Praise the Lord! What another great answer to prayer. We will continue to pray for a stabilized heart rate, but I rejoice in this small positive step.

God is moving and working all over the world, using my son to challenge people's faith, encourage the desperate, and draw His children closer to Him. Makes me wish I had one of those maps with the stick-pins to show where everyone who is following this story is located!

Day 10 - June 25 - Results are in

The same doctor (that told Cherié how bad the possibilities of the tests were) just came out and told us that everything was just great! Praise the Lord! When we thanked the doctor for the news, he said "it wasn't me".

He was right - it wasn't him!

Day 10 - June 25 - Financial Contributions Possible!

For all of you who have so generously offered to contribute financially, we are grateful. To make that easy to do, we have established a Paypal account and bank account for ConnorWatch. All you have to do is go to the Contribute page, or find one of the donate buttons strategically (well, sort of) placed about the site, and make your contribution through Paypal.

You can use a credit card, or by opening a free Paypal account, you can transfer money from your checking account without incurring the credit card service providers fees, which are about 3%.

We will move the money to Eric and Cherié as required for expenses. Our first big goal is to absorb the hotel bill for Cherié's parents through the end of the month, so they can support Eric and Cherié in Fresno without the additional stress of the hotel.

We are grateful for your willingness and insistence on being generous. We will do our best to be responsible stewards of the contributions you entrust to us.

Brad
Michigan

Day 10 - June 25 - Angiogram Prayer Request

It's 11:40 in Fresno, and Eric just told me that Connor is going in for his angiogram, and the doctors have informed him that there is a risk of stroke if a clot is dislodged.

Please pray for success in the angiogram, wisdom and prudence and skill on the doctor's part, and that Connor would return from this surgery with no additional ill consequences.

Brad
Michigan

Day 10 - June 25 - Prayer Requests

Last evening we rolled up onto that part of the rollercoaster where the ride levels off for a bit. You know more ups, downs, twists, and turns are coming; but for a brief moment everything is stable.

This morning when we walked into Connor's room, two nurses and the respiratory therapist were scurrying back and forth. His lungs have gotten stuff in them because he was on his stomach for four hours yesterday, and they were trying to ensure he was breathing well. His O2 saturation was down, and the respiratory therapist has some concern that one of his lungs may have partially collapsed. It may also be stuff loosened during surgery yesterday, but the chest X-ray isn't conclusive. So they cleaned it out, and will check his chest more closely during his angiogram later today.

They will be doing an angiogram to confirm the status of his arteries, as we discussed yesterday.  Please pray for a positive outcome.

Prayer requests for Connor -

- A completely clean and positive result on the tests today, both with his arteries and his lungs

- Increased and stable oxygen levels

- Complete lung function to return so he can get off the respirator

- Clear, healthy lungs and a removal of phlegm

- That his digestive tract, in its entirety, will work well and efficiently

- Proper, steady heart beat without mechanical assistance

- That he would be protected from infection in his surgical wounds, in his lungs, and everywhere in his body

- That the swelling in his neck would quickly reduce and that the pressure on his spinal cord would decrease

- That the contusions on Connor's spinal cord would be healed, and that all feeling and function would be restored to his body.  I believe my God is going to set my son upright again!

- That God would surround Connor with nurses and staff who refuse to be negative, who will speak of the future hope and faith

- That God will protect Connor for spiritual attack in these days when he is so physically weak

- That the Holy Spirit would comfort Connor in these days

Pray also that God would be glorified and magnified before the eyes of the medical staff here. We believe God is going to do great things, and we're praying that God will confound the wise in this place.

Day 10 - June 25 - Imagining Big Things

Most of us have difficulty imagining the really big numbers: a 30 billion dollar budget increase, a quarter of a million miles to the moon, 6.5 billion people on earth.

One number that is easier to grasp, but not a lot easier, is a very real, meaningful number that is related to the people who are connected to Connor through ConnorWatch. Over the last 5 days the average number of page views on ConnorWatch averaged around 12,000, peaking at 13,500 on the weekend. That's thirteen thousand, five hundred, page views in a world where the average website measures traffic in the hundreds or less a day. Imagine that!

Most of that traffic was focused on the blog, but that number roughly translates to about 4 or 5 thousand people who are checking in on Connor's situation, and staying connected to him through ConnorWatch. Four or five thousand people being touched by the events surrounding Connor. Imagine that!

Continue to tell your friends about Connor, and if you haven't yet, leave a comment on the blog with a word of encouragement for Eric and Cherié, Connor and Joélle.

Imagine big things!

Day 10 - June 25 - Waiting

It's Day 10 of this ordeal, and what a journey it has been. We have all witnessed amazing things happen. From the initial crushing blows when we first learned of Connor's situation, to the intense highs of the successful surgery and learning of Connor watching a baseball game, we have seen God's hands at work and in the process we've seen a community born.

People from around the globe have rallied their prayers and now we're all asked to wait, to watch, and to see what God has in store. I'm not a medical expert, but from what I understand there is swelling from the initial impact along with additional swelling caused from yesterday's operation. Once this subsides we'll have more answers.

• Pray for Eric, Cherié & Joélle. Pray that they will focus on today and not on the road ahead. Pray that their relationships will be strengthened in this situation instead of stressed by it.

• Pray for Connor. We've seen God answer our prayers along the way and we'll see more answered in the hours and days to come.

• Pray for God to use this event to continue to call people to Himself.

Let's see what unfolds on the journey today!

Kent
Virginia

Day 9 - June 24 - I forgot the photo!

Day 9 - June 24 - He's awake!

He's awake! When we went into the room, we very quietly whispered to the nurse - "Is he awake?". She looked at us, smiled and said "oh, yes, he wanted to watch baseball, so he's watching TV". Sure enough, the game was on, the sound was playing next to his ear, and when I walked between him and the TV his eyes followed me! Praise the Lord!

We only allowed a couple of folks in tonight to see him - myself and Cherié, Joélle, and his closer-than-a-brother, Josh, who arrived today to see him for the first time (he was out of state and couldn't get back until now).  When Josh and Joélle walked in, Connor's eyes opened wide, his brow raised, and he grinned a HUGE grin around his breathing tube.

There's nothing else I can say - thank you, Lord.  Thank you.

Day 9 - June 24 - Surgery Part 2

Connor is out of surgery.  The surgeon was extremely pleased with how well everything turned out.  He said everything went as well as he could have hoped.  The vertebrae are now solidly fused together in their correct alignment, Connor's torn disc has been cleaned out and replaced with a spongy washer-like thingy, and everything is buttoned back up.  The nurses just called and told us he is back on his way to his room, although we haven't been able to see him yet.  

The doctor did express a bit of concern - apparently one of the technical doctors at the lab thought that one of Connor's vertebral arteries was partially occluded.  Both neurosurgeons, and the chief vascular surgeon all concurred that a) they thought it was the artery wrapping around the edge of the vertebrae, and b) that the least worst thing they could do was to go ahead with the surgery.  We found out about this when the surgeon told us, after the surgery, that all we needed to do now was "hope he woke up".  Since he was coherent, alert, and responsive before the surgery this morning (while his arteries were still in the condition they were in during the CT Scan), and since the fate of our son is in the hands of the Great Physician, we are waiting patiently until we can see him.

God is good - the surgery was as successful as it possibly could be. One step is behind us. We'll keep you posted of the next thing.   We love you all!

Day 9 - June 24 - Surgery

Connor went into surgery this morning, being taken downstairs at 0800.  We prayed and waited throughout the morning, trusting God for His provision. Surprisingly, I am not overwhelmingly concerned with the surgery itself. God has given me confidence in His use of the surgeon's skills, knowledge, and abilities. I continue to wrestle with despair about the future, despite God's clear instruction:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:34.

About noon, the neurosurgeon came out with some X-rays.  He showed us the screws and rods that have been inserted into Connor's vertebrae, which makes the inside of his neck look like something out of The Terminator (although without the Austrian accent). The doctor then told us that the first half went very well, and that they would be starting the second half as soon as he returned to the OR. Yesterday he had said that the first part of the surgery was harder than the second, so we rest in the fact that God is providing even as we go along. The surgeon told us the second part would last about three hours, so we are waiting while I post this, eager for this step to be completed.

I have to say we're confident in the outcome of the surgery. God has laid out all the tools he needs so that He can provide for Connor's needs through the hands of men.  But I also don't want to give you the false idea that we're sitting here all smiley.  I know we keep asking for this, but please pray: 

- that God would use this surgery to set Connor on the road to recovery;

- that He would prevent any surgical complications from impacting Connor's recovery;

- that He would allow the fusion of Connor's vertebrae to cause the swelling to decrease and feeling and movement to return;

- that God would strengthen us daily to trust Him, to draw close to Him and to each other;

- and (for me), to resist the temptation to despair.  Cherié and Joélle have been gifted with the ability to see positives in so many things, while the negatives leap out at me.  This causes despair on my part, frustration for Cherié, and fear for Joélle as she sees her father so shaken.  As the person they look to for spiritual leadership and maturity, I need the resolve and fortitude, the perseverance and faith, to effectively be the man they need me to be.  I cannot do this apart from Christ, and I am appalled at my weakness.  Lord, help my unbelief!

Who says God doesn't appreciate irony? While I typed that last sentence, one of the OR nurses came out to tell us how well things were going, and how pleased the neurosurgeon is with the way things are going.  She also expressed how thankful she was to be able to do what she does. God is good to us. He remains faithful.

That reminds me - I want God to pour out His sustenance on us so that we are swimming in His provision. A friend reminded me that God only provided enough manna to the Israelites to see them through each day, in order to remind them how much they must rely on Him. So while we are stuck in the desert right now, we remember that tomorrow morning there will be another provision of manna, with the Pillar of Fire to guide us on our journey.

Baby steps to the holy land, baby steps to the holy land...

Day 9 - June 24 - Stay the Course!

It has been a busy week trying to keep up with all the developments regarding Connor, as well as Eric and Cherié's "rollercoaster ride". Sometimes hard to catch our breath in the few minutes we occassionally find at ConnorWatch.

For many of you who want to help in anyway you can, we ask you to be patient. Eric and Cherié, and Joélle as well, are about as well taken care of as they can stand. I know it can be hard to believe, but there actually is a point at which the 'help' can be overwhelming.

We are making arrangements to make it easy for you to contribute financially, and we have set up the Needs Support team of Mel and Kim to help coordinate all the offers to help with the needs the family currently has.

So, if you want to find out how to help at the moment, or you have something you want to do for the family, or if you are unsure if your visit the hospital will be timely and supportive, contact the Needs Support team through the Contact page and they will be glad to answer your questions. Their role is to act as a single point of contact for determining how best to help and support Eric and Cherié and Joélle during this transition, and to coordinate help offers so we don't end up with food, money, and visits from friends being wasted.

We are preparing for this to be a long journey, and we don't want all your best efforts to help burned out in the first few weeks. So be patient, watch the blog, contact Kim and Mel at Needs Support, and journey with us, one step at a time.

Eric, Cherié, Connor and Joélle will be grateful you stayed the course.

Brad
Michigan

Day 8 - June 23 - I TOLD you it was a rollercoaster...

...and the ride takes another twist.

We just spoke with the neurosurgeon. First, he displayed the most positive attitude I've seen on him.  He told us a number of things - first, he explained what was going on with Connor's vertebrae. Before, both sides of the vertebrae were out of place. When everything realigned, both sides were back in place. Then one side slipped back, so that's where it is right now. They've got Connor back with 10 pounds of traction to hold things where they are, and the surgeon is confident that the one side isn't a problem for them - it was having both sides out that was the issue before.

He then told us that he and his fellow neurosurgeon, who is also the vascular surgeon, went over today's CT Scan slice by slice, and they both agree - both of his vertebral arteries are "clean and clear". I asked for clarification and he confirmed - there are no tears in either artery, and no clot. As far as the vascular stuff is concerned, they are good to go for surgery. There was an additional positive, in that the side of the vertebrae that remains in place is the side that had the pinched artery, so that's very good. So he was upbeat about that.

He did tell us that there was bad news, too. I tensed. He said "he has had a stroke". I fainted. OK, I didn't quite faint, but I felt like it. The doctor told us that it happened a while ago, maybe as long ago as the time of the injury. It's small, and he says it affected a part of the brain that "doesn't control much, that we know of". He was very upbeat about the potentialities, saying that Connor has been equally responsive all along, and says that he is "right there" when the doctor talks to him. Overall, he described everything as "four steps forward, one step back".

Connor goes to surgery in the morning. He will be taken downstairs at 0700, with the surgery beginning between 0730 and 0800 PDT and lasting all day long. They will go in the back of his neck, make sure the vertebrae are in the proper position, and insert screws and rods to secure the joint. Once that is done, they'll flip him over "like a pancake", in the doctor's words, and go in from the front.  In there, they will remove the torn disc between Connor's C4 and C5, replace it with a prosthesis, and then install plates to secure the front.

The doctor has done a lot of these, and seems intelligent and confident.  He is sharp, which is a trait much desired in the tools the Master uses.

Please pray that God's will be done in this surgery. Please pray that Connor sustains no more damage from these procedures. Please pray that God sustain him, and us, during the days ahead.

Forgive me for my convoluted, ever-changing blogs. I apologize for twisting everyone's emotions back and forth. I only report what's happening!

Day 8 - June 23 - He gives and takes away

Well, they say that God moves in mysterious ways.  I'd really like to figure it out sometime.

Connor's spine has moved back out of alignment.  Not as far as it was, apparently, but it's no longer lined up.  Additionally, they have discovered more information about his vascular status. The artery that was pinched has turned out to be torn as well.  The other one, the one with the clot, may also be severed, according to the trauma surgeon.  It's either a clot which is apparently still there, or it's been severed and the ends are clotted together.  Either way, it's not particularly good (understatement of the year). The vertebral arteries join up before they go into the brain.  If the tear were to get worse and reach the juncture, that would not be particularly good, either - the rear of the brain is where the functions of balance and coordination lie.  We are really praying that God would protect all of his brain functions.

Enough of the physiology lesson.  Connor is scheduled for surgery first thing in the morning.  There's still some question about whether this is the best course of action, and the neurosurgeon will make that determination after the CT Scan comes back and he evaluates it.  There are multiple concerns involved - they need to align the spine and stabilize it, which means they need to manipulate Connor's neck. This may cause more damage to his vertebral arteries.  If they fixed the arteries first, the stents they have to use are semi-rigid, which means that they can't withstand much movement - movement that they would need to do in order to put his spine right.  So they're evaluating whether it's more dangerous to manipulate the neck first, or fix the arteries first.

Now is a really good time to remember that God's ways are unfathomable, his knowledge is far beyond ours, and his love is deeper than I can imagine.

Please continue to pray.  I will update as I can.

Day 8 - June 23 - "I guess miracles do happen!"

My brothers are right - this kind of news has to be blogged by me, not them. They feel the pressure to not miss anything in translation, but like a game of "telephone", things can get mis-spoken inadvertently.  

Kent's blog "The first hurdle has been cleared" is correct in its detail, but I feel the need to clarify a bit. No offense, Kent!  I've been covering for you since we were wee lads!

Kent wasn't in the room, and I was, so I need to convey to you the power this moment had. I felt a pang of pity as this highly intelligent and greatly skilled neurosurgeon struggled to explain why, 15 minutes earlier, he had been explaining the course of action necessary to unlock Connor's vertebrae, and now he's trying to explain the unexplainable - he doesn't need to straighten the vertebrae anymore!

"For some reason", Connor's vertebrae are now aligned.  Hallelujah!  "For some reason", between the X-ray this morning and the latest, the vertebrae unlocked from each other, moved to the right place, and allowed Connor's spinal cord to lose it's S-bend.  Praise the Lord!

The beauty of this moment is that we are familiar with The Reason. Even more, Cherié and I were very specifically praying that Connor's spine would realign by today, as were many of you. Wow! What an answer to prayer.

As we were standing in the doorway to Connor's room, praising God for this answer to prayer, we overheard the surgeon speaking to one of the nurses.  We couldn't hear what he said, but her response was "Well, I guess miracles do happen!"

Yes, they do.

Day 8 - June 23 - The First Hurdle Has Been Cleared!

Eric just called and asked me to post the news...

Connor's first hurdle has been cleared! This is a direct answer to the prayers you all have been lifting up.

Here's what happened... This morning Joélle went into visit with Connor and saw that he no longer had the halo on his head. She said the neurosurgeon was in the room and he told her that they had taken him out of traction in order to prepare for the surgery tomorrow. He also told her that the traction had not worked properly and that they would need to manually attempt to reposition the vertebrae.

Joélle quickly went to find Eric & Cherié so they could speak with the neurosurgeon directly, but even though they raced back into Connor's room, the doctor was nowhere to be found.

So they began talking to Connor, singing, praying, etc. and after 15 minutes or so, the doctor came back into the room. Apparently he had seen the latest X-ray, because he said something like, "sometime in the last couple of hours his neck has moved back into place." From the time they had taken his halo off, the bones had adjusted back where they need to be!

This is an amazing answer to prayer!

They are still planning on surgery for sometime on Tuesday to stabilize his neck (both front and back), but the fact that the bones are back where they need to be is a huge hurdle that Connor has cleared. We know there are many more hurdles coming, but please offer your prayers of thanksgiving and then pray for the upcoming surgery, etc.

Thanks,

Kent

Virginia

Day 8 - June 23 - An update between the rapids

Like on a rafting trip, our trip with Connor has rapids and falls.  But it also has periods of relative calm between these adrenaline-filled, bumpy moments. We're in one of those periods right now - gently floating down the river, with but a few words and pushes from our Guide as we navigate the journey; weaving around the few boulders and snags, hearing the rapids drawing closer.

Because of this pause, we've taken some time to attend to some (for lack of a better word) administrative tasks - blog and web upkeep, on the part of Brad and Kent; and Cherié, Joélle and I have been able to give some attention to acknowledging the support we've been receiving. Now it's time to get you updated on where the boy is at...

Connor has remained in a relatively stable state for the last few days.  He is not, however, "stabilized" - none of his original injuries have been addressed. To my knowledge, his shoulders remain dislocated, the vascular damage remains to be assessed, and the status of the blood clot remains unknown. His C4 and C5 vertebrae remain misaligned.  He remains on the respirator and pacemaker. His heart rate, respiration rate, and blood pressure remain steady and good. He is heavily sedated and on paralysis-inducing medication. His neck has been under 45 pounds of traction for three or four days (my time scale is skewed) in an attempt to realign his C4 and C5 vertebrae, but so far this has been unsuccessful. 

The last few X-rays have shown no significant change in his bones.  The doctors are considering surgery Tuesday to get the bones in alignment, so that they can assess and address all the other problems as well. Trust me, we WILL let everyone know before any surgery begins.  Again, we covet your prayers.

So that's where the boy is right now. Now I want to share something that happened yesterday between me and my son.  Please understand that I share this, not to draw attention to any one person, but to draw attention to One Person (don't worry, you'll get it as we go along)...

Yesterday I went into Connor's room, said "hi" to him, and did what I do each time I go in - I raised his eyelids, leaned back a bit to give him a bit of focus, and said "Hi son, I love you". When we do this, his eyes don't move or anything. I closed his eyes, and did the second thing I do each time I come in - I leaned down by his ear and said "If you can hear me, move your eyebrows".  He twitched his eyebrows in acknowledgment.  Then a thought came to me, and I said "Connor, if you could see me when I opened your eyes, move your eyebrows".  His eyebrows moved!  I leapt up, opened his eyes, and waved at him as I smiled and shouted "Hi buddy!  I love you!!!"  Then I closed his eyes again and told him I had something to tell him.

I asked "Connor, do you know who Mike Singletary is?"  Eyebrow twitch.  "Yeah, the Bears player, now coaching with the Niners?" Twitch. "Mike Singletary is standing in the gap for you, praying for you right now.  He's not alone - an entire village in Romania is praying for you, right this minute. An entire village in Cambodia is praying for you, right this minute. A village in Zambia is lifting you up, right this minute. Churches in Texas, in Kansas, in California, in Michigan, in Virginia; churches all over the country and all over the world are praying for you.  People all over the world are lifting you up and praying for you, because of the mighty work God is doing through your story. While you lie hear in this bed, the Spirit of God is working in the hearts of many, many people, and He's using your story to do it."

I looked at my boy.  Tears were streaming out of his eyes!  He heard - he understood - he was moved.  It was such a blessing to me, and he and I shared a few moments of worship and prayer before the nurse came in.  What a blessing God gives to His children.

Please don't think I tell this story only because Mike Singletary figures in it. I'm sure that Mike wants no glory from this, and he'd probably be the first to tell you that his prayers for Connor are neither more nor less effective than those of any other saint, known or unknown. I tell this story because Connor is also a young man who loves football, who is familiar with the culture in which he lives, and Mike's name has an impact for him. I find it telling that his tears began to flow not from hearing Mike's name, but from hearing the widespread prayer support rising to the Throne of God on his behalf.

Take encouragement from this story - our God is a mighty God, powerful to heal, awesome in gloriousness.  Praise Him as you lift your prayers for my son.

Day 8 - June 23 - Volunteer Webmaster Needed!

I'm reaching the limits on what I know and can do with the blog and website, and I'm neglecting some other areas of responsibility wrestling with web design and management that could probably be done better, easier and faster by someone with more experience than I have.

Do you have web design/management skills? Conversant in HTML, PHP, etc.? Up to date on the latest of technologies for web communication? Ready to take responsibility for 8 to 10 thousand hits a day? Want to contribute to ConnorWatch in a way that will truly impact the community supporting the Williamsons right now?

Contact me as soon as you can. It's a big responsibility, but I'm looking for someone with the will and skill to take over support of our primary communication interface, the website and blog management.

There is a lot to be done. Mechanisms for contributions, guestbooking, mapping, etc., will keep your hands full for a few days, but if that's your thing, then you know what I talking about.

Contact me through the contact page if webmaster is where you can help.

Brad
Michigan

Day 8 - June 23 - Needs Support Team Formed!

As you might not be able to imagine, there is an incredible amount of work going on behind the scenes to make all of this work. It has increased to the point that it is difficult to even respond to the emailed offers of support that are coming in. For that, I apologize, and if you are waiting for a response, it should be coming soon. It didn't dawn on me that I was being overwhelmed until today, because I'm just not the sort of guy to admit those sort of things.

Having realized that I'm slowing things down by not keeping up, and having a providential phone call with Mel this morning resulted in a generous offer from Kim and Mel to take over the responsibility for coordinating all the incoming offers to help with the needs that Eric, Cherié, Connor and Joélle have.

So there is a new contact button on the Contact web page that will let you send your offers to help directly to Kim and Mel. They'll keep track of what is coming in, and match it with places to help, things to do, and contributions you can make.

Recognizing that there are more offers help at the moment than there are needs that can be filled, they may ask you to patiently wait until the time is right for you to engage. That having been said, please contact the Needs Support team with any offer to help.

Thanks for your continued willingness to give, and many, many thanks to Kim and Mel for taking over this significant responsiblity.

Brad
Michigan

Day 8 - June 23 - Little help here, please.

Eric just mentioned a little need we can actually do something about.

Someone in the waiting room had mentioned reading an article about Connor's accident in the "local paper", which I presume means the Fresno Bee, though I'm not sure. Eric wants a copy of that article, if it exists. Does anyone have a copy of (probably) last Tuesday's edition that could locate and save the article for us?

Eric is just asking that someone find it, secure it, and hold it for him. Or maybe get it to his house or somewhere safe. He doesn't want to be given it only to have it lost or destroyed accidentally at the hospital.

I searched the Bee website and could find no mention of Connor, so it may be in some other paper. Let me know if you find anything.

Thanks,

Brad
Michigan

Day 8 - June 23 - Shorter is Better!

For those of you committed to actually typing in URLs instead of clicking on links, the new URL for the ConnorWatch website is:

connorwatch.org

For the link clickers among you:

http://www.connorwatch.org

Thanks for your all your support.

Brad
Michigan

Day 7 - June 22 - Ready, OK!

I had a pretty good visual image this morning that fits into what I want to say, so here goes...

Have you ever seen one of those cheerleading competitions? One where these teams of perky people stack themselves up to the sky into all sorts of formations? I'm pretty convinced that if I tried this with my friends and family, we'd pull a big "humpty-dumpty" and all come tumbling down. It takes these folks a lot of work, skill and a good coach to put together these things so that they work right.

Now here's the image - there's this big pyramid of people. At the bottom is this great big layer of strong, sturdy folks, interlacing their arms so they can stand the strain of all that's placed upon their shoulders. Standing on their shoulders is a smaller group of folks, again bracing against each other to spread the load downward in an even and balanced way. On those folks' shoulders, there are two or three people - once again leaning into each other in order to support the weight that the coach has decided will be carried by them. Finally, at the pinnacle of the pyramid, there's one tiny soul, perched dangerously high above the ground. As long as every member of the squad does exactly what the coach has dictated as their role, the person at the top is secure, and the crowd roars, the judges smile, and the trophies are handed out.

What I'm trying to say is that Connor is the tiny, pig-tailed cheerleader at the top. He is being directly supported by his family, Cherié, Joélle and I. We, in turn, are depending on both each other and our next layer of support, our family and friends - Brad and Kent with the blog; the friends who flock to our side to feed us, clothe us, and house us; and all our friends and family who are praying unceasingly for Connor and for us. Finally, this group is completely being held up and supported by the steady, faithful, unceasing prayer being offered up on our behalf by a very, very large group of individuals; most of whom do not know us, have not met us, and only help because of one thing - the direction of our Coach, the One who designed this pyramid, who brought the participants together, who developed the skills in each of us to fulfill our role, and who orchestrates the whole, seemingly precarious balance.

I cannot do justice to the list of people I owe for their great, great service to me and mine. I am astonished at how God has brought people together from every part of the world, from every walk of life, from both well-known and unknown walks, to gather together in prayer for my son and for what God is doing through his ordeal. I could never begin to thank you for what you are doing for us, so I must be satisfied that one day in eternity, I'll shake your individual hands and give you a big hug in gratitude for your service to God, and through Him, to my boy, my family, and to me.

Thank you, friends. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your selflessness. Thank you for your endurance, your perseverance, and your obedience. Thank you for your gifts, your thoughts, your comfort, and most importantly, your prayers. We continue to covet them, and we thank and praise the Lord for His provision through your hearts and hands.

Day 7 - June 22 - A Shouting God

Karen, the kids and I had dinner last evening at a friend's house here in Virginia. Their dear family has been praying for Connor this week and Heather had come across this quote. I thought it was worth passing on...

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains.  It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world." 

- C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Are we listening?

Kent

Virginia

Day 7 - June 22 - A Growing Faith

Eric's faith (along with many of ours) is deeper than it was a week ago. We talked today about how most of the time God uses a tiny chisel on each of us to shape us into the people we need to become, to shape us to be more like Christ. Or perhaps He buffs us so we can shine. It's often fairly painless and we tend to become immune to the work He's doing on us.

And then once in a while (normally when we least expect it), He pulls out his giant, oversized chisel and His gargantuan hammer and guess what? He puts it to work on us. This is what Eric and Cherié and Joelle and Connor and many of us journeying with them are experiencing right now (and some us thought He was finished with us! Ha!).

The big chisel hurts, no doubt. But it's part of the refinement that shapes us, that builds us, that restores us, that polishes us, that ultimately will make us whom He needs us to be. So in that case... bring it on.

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us – an unbelievable inheritance! We go thorugh exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

- Romans 8:15-17 (Message)

• Not much has changed with Connor overnight. Continue to pray for rest and healing.

• When Eric awoke this morning, he read some scripture, and went to check the blog. He noticed the list of prayers that Jenann's had posted in her recent comment. Eric just went down the list and saw how many of them had been answered. For rest, provision, etc. Eric could just say, "Thank you, Lord, for this new day!" No alarms had gone off overnight.  There was much to be thankful for.

• Concerns for Cherié -  she awoke from a nap yesterday and had a very hard time seeing clearly. She is also lacking energy. She has a lot on her mind right now and is under enormous stress, so please pray for her. Pray that she'll sustain her health.

• Pray also that Cherié will be able to stop serving others and allow others to serve her. For those of you who know Cherié this is like asking a fish not to swim. She is so gifted in the area of service to others. She is a fabulous hostess, and right now she desires to continue in that role, but now is obviously not the time. Pray that she'll be able to set it aside and allow others to serve her.

It's Sunday. Tomorrow will be one week since this whole ordeal has begun. Thanks for your prayers and comments. God is good.

Day 6 - June 21 - Last update before bed

We've gotten a bit more clarification about what's going on, and I wanted to pass it on to everyone before I headed off to bed - err, "floor". We're trying to make it an early night and get some desperately needed rest.

The spinal manipulation is slowly moving things in the right direction. Emphasis on the word "slowly". I think the bloodletters are a bit amazed that this process hasn't only taken an hour. Connor is heavily sedated still, so after I prayed and sang with him I took the opportunity to speak at length with the nurse. While she's not the doctor, she was able to give me some general information which sheds some light.

First, the pacemaker only fires off when Connor's heartrate drops below 45. This has happened occasionally, but not often. I was under the impression that it was continuous, so the fact that it is only when necessary comforts me. The nurse tells me that the reason for the erratic heart and lung function is most likely due to swelling at the injury sight, and should clear up as that goes down. Good news.

Second, the motivation for aligning the spine is not to align the spinal cord, as I had supposed. Instead, it is to align the vascular system in that area. They know there is vascular damage - the pinched vertebral artery, the blood clot - plus the potential for the veins and arteries to have stretched during the injury, with a possible weakening of the vessel walls. This means that they need to evaluate the damage and repair it as necessary - to them, the spinal stuff is of secondary importance.

Cherié, Joélle and I, as well as the many people here with us, have been given great opportunity to minister to the families of many of the other ICU patients. It is exciting to see how people become much more open to hearing the grace of God when they come face to face with such devastation in their lives. Pray for us to be effective ministers of His grace to these families who must share this journey.

God bless you for your prayers.

Day 6 - June 21 - Saturday Night Prayer Requests

I just got off the phone with Eric... we had a two minute conversation. He and Cherié were in the middle of some time with the family of one of the boys in the unit next to Connor.

• Pray for that boy and his family. They had a very rough day. Pray that Eric & Cherié can be just what Christ needs them to be for this other family.

• The Doctors are still attempting to use the traction to manipulate Connor's spine. Pray that it works. Ask God specifically for it to work so they won't have to attempt it manually.

• Eric mentioned concern over Connor's vascular system. Pray over this for Connor.

• Eric mentioned the possible need for stents. I would assume that this would be for the damaged artery in Connor's neck, but I'm uncertain. Pray for the Doctors that they will be wise as they make these decisions.

• Continue to pray that the blood clot would no longer be an issue.

• Eric did say that Conner is resting... as much as someone can rest with their head three inches off the pillow due to traction. Pray for rest for all of them.

Goodnight from Virginia,

Kent

Day 6 - June 21 - Pacing

Connor has been connected to a pacemaker.  His heart has been erratically beating for over a day, now.  The doctors had given him an injection of some wonder-cocktail of medicines that were supposed to help stabilize his heartrate, but that has apparently not worked.  As a result, the decision was made to connect him to the pacemaker in order to regulate his blood pressure, which I understand was the primary concern.  I've been pretty concerned when Connor's heartrate dropped to 20 per minute, but the doctors are actually more concerned with continuing a steady blood pressure to support his other organs.

As a result, Connor's heart is now stabilized mechanically, like his lungs before it.  As I understand it, this is not "life support" - the machines aren't "keeping him alive", they're helping regulate his body's functions while it attempts to heal.  Cherie, Joelle and I have an additional view -

In I Kings 18, Elijah is in a monster face-off with 450 prophets of Baal.  The challenge is to decide, once and for all, who is the real God.  Elijah is the last of God's prophets, and the test is to build two altars and set up two sacrifices, and then let the real God provide the fire.  It's sort of like an Old Testament Smackdown.  What happens is that the 450 Baal dudes build their altar, then spend all morning wailing and praying and jumping around, trying to get Baal to pay attention and light the altar's fire.  I find it interesting that Elijah spends most of the time taunting them, a practice that, while not encouraged, certainly has it's appeal now and then.  Anyway, they finally give up in frustration, altar not lit, sacrifice unconsumed.  Then it's Elijah's turn.  In true Old Testament fashion, Elijah isn't content to let well enough alone - he enlists the Baal dudes to carry water up, soaking the sacrifice, wood, and altar with water. Then he decides that isn't enough, so he soaks it down again, and again, until the water runs down the altar and fills the trench around the altar.  Finally, he asks this - to let it be known that God is God and that he is God's prophet, so that the people would return to God.

Guess what - fire springs down from heaven.  Not a measly little lightning strike, either, but a massive column of the fire of God swept down.  When the dust cleared, the sacrifice, the wood, the water in the ditch, the stones of the altar, and even the dirt were gone.  And everybody blinked, looked at each other, and pretty much got the message.

We believe that respirators and pacemakers are given to stabilize our son during this difficult time for him.  But we also believe that they are the water over the sacrifice; running down the stones, filling the ditch; so that there can be no possible doubt Who has done what when my boy walks again.

That will be an excellent birthday present.

Day 6 - June 21 - Struggles Continue

Just off the phone with Eric. Not the birthday he was hoping for, though he appreciates your reminders that we are thinking of him, too.

Connor's neck has still not responded to traction and drugs the way that was hoped, so the doctors have decided to proceed with manual manipulation some time later today, or maybe tomorrow. That's obviously a big deal, and it is very scary. The threat to Connor's spinal cord and the concern over the possibility of dislodging blood clots, and now adding manual manipulation, is too much for those who must stand aside and wait. Pray that God will protect Connor's life and spinal cord, and guide the hands of the doctors that must exercise this course of action. Pray that God will encourage the family through this exercise.

As if that wasn't enough, Connor's heart is responding erratically, though I don't know precisely how, other than the medical staff have given injections to stabilize his heart. Pray that God would steady Connor's heart, strengthen it, and take it off the list of concerns that burden Eric and Cherié.

Finally, Eric is concerned about his only daughter, Joélle, who is carrying the burden with the rest of the family, but is a bit overlooked in the support that the family receives. Visitors and phone calls are usually friends of Eric and Cherié, and she needs some encouragement of her own. Friends of Joélle, now would be a good time to rally. Pray that God provides Joélle with the specific encouragement she needs.

That should bring you current on the pressing concerns of Eric, Cherié, Connor, and Joélle.

Let me add one of my own. Birthday wishes, however well intended, can be hard to take in light of the current situation. Be gentle and encouraging. The last thing I intended with announcing Eric's birthday was to add more to his concerns. Easing his burden would be a well-received birthday gift.

Brad
Michigan

Day 6 - June 21 - Connor's Photo Shoot

George Cox posted a comment with a link to a recent photo shoot he did with Connor. He added a webpage along with a portfolio of all the photos. I thought it was worth pulling it out of the comment section and adding the links here.

Great job George, and thanks for posting it!

Kent

Virginia

Day 6 - June 21 - Happy Birthday, Fathead!

Well it's official! Eric is 46! And what a better way to celebrate than to share with all the readers of this blog one of our terms of endearment... fathead!

Yes, it's true, Eric, Brad and I have lovingly referred to each other by many, many names over the years (some of which just aren't appropriate for mixed company), but often we fall back on "Fathead". Why? Who knows, but it always seems to fit... not just for one of us, but for all of us.

So, to Eric... the middle brother of Los Hermanos de Azul, yes, the tall skinny one... Happy Birthday, Fathead#2!

With much love,

Fathead #3 (aka Kent)

Virginia

P.S. it's just the angle of the camera that makes my head look fatter than yours.... no, really! I'm serious!

Day 5 - June 20 - Birthday Greetings

Tomorrow, June 21st, is Eric's birthday, his 46th. Though they tend to be less significant as we get older (it's not the years, it's the miles!) tomorrow has the real possibility of going unnoticed in light of the current situation. There isn't much we can fix about that, and there isn't much in the way of 'appropriate' birthday gifts that we can have delivered, but we can continue to offer encouragement.

Take a minute on Saturday to post a comment, or send an encouraging email. Remind him that the rest of us are glad we can celebrate a day for him.

For my part, brother Eric, we've talked a lot since Monday, and though I haven't been out there for you, until I'm called to be there I continue to be here for you.

I'm proud of you. You are being measured and weighed, and though it may not seem like it to you, you continue to demonstrate to us the character, courage, and commitment that seems to be missing in many of the men in our culture today. You continue to persevere. You are demonstrating in your life the role that men of God are called to, and your son reflects that upbringing like no other. You display commitment in adversity where others have quit and abandoned their wives and children. You speak of enduring in these things until that day that God says, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!"

I'm proud of you. Hold fast!

Brad
Southwest Michigan Chapter of the Brothers Williamson

Day 5 - June 20 - Hopeful Day

I just hung up with Eric... he summarized by saying it was a hopeful day.

Connor's spine is slowly moving back in the direction the doctors want it to be. Which means that the paralytic drugs are doing their magic. They've taken a couple more X-rays, but Eric hadn't seen them yet.

Eric did say that after the nurses left he talked to Connor (in his drug-induced, paralized, near comatose state). Eric said "if you hear me, move your eyebrows." Connor moved his eyebrows. So Eric continued to talk and sing to him.

A couple of people visiting told Eric that when they held Connor's hand his hand twitched in theirs.

Then Joelle and a friend were sitting in Connor's room and Joelle was rubbing his feet (which sounds like the job every big sister wants!). She said to Connor, "if you can feel this, raise your eyebrows." And guess what... he raised his eyebrows.

The wrestling match between Hope & False Hope continues for certain, but overall Eric said it was a hopeful day. Pray for more days like this!

Kent

back home in Virginia

Day 5 - June 20 - ConnorWatch site now available!

A little work in the spare time, and we have a website up that supports the ConnorWatch blog.

http://www.wmson.us/connor/index.html

Now you can see everything, including the blog, at one place, or you can still go to the blog directly. You choose.

The website includes all the things that are difficult to support on the blog - photos, prayer and support requests, frequently asked questions, etc. The site is changing hourly as we continue to identify and add features, so your patience is requested as it evolves. If you find bugs or think of things we need to include, email staff support, please. Save the blog and blog comments for things related to Connor and his family.

Look for features in the next few days like being able to subscribe to our mailing list, contribute financially for Eric and Cherié's non-medical needs, and others as they are identified.

I hope you find this useful - it is a small way to say thank you for your continued care and support for the California Williamsons.

Brad
Michigan Williamsons

Day 5 - June 20 - Kansas?

Today at noon, the medicos asked to speak to Cherie and I.  We went into Connor's room with our now-usual fear of impending bad news.  The nurse explained that they wanted our permission to administer drugs to Connor that would effectively paralyze him completely. After the initial shock of that request, we were able to listen while they explained the circumstances - apparently the normal person's neck, in a situation like Con's, will reset under about 25 pounds of traction.  Connor has had 40 pounds of traction on his neck for nearly three days, and his neck is not straightening out.  They explained that they wanted to put him into a state where his muscles have no choice but to relax and allow his bones to move (for those who don't know him, Connor's neck is about as big around as my leg - he's built like a bull). Apparently he is strong enough that he has held this 40 pounds in the air by his broken neck for almost three days.

So anyway, after discussing the ramifications, we agreed to the procedure, and Connor is currently in that state.  He is heavily sedated and they are standing by with the X-ray machine, in order to confirm the neck's realignment.  We are told that the process, assuming the X-ray confirms the realignment, will take an hour or two, after which he can be allowed to come off of the paralyzing medication.

Please pray that Connor suffers no ill effects from the procedure or the medication.  Pray that Connor's neck will realign, and that this will allow his spinal cord to begin to function correctly again.  Pray that the manipulation of his neck will allow his blood vessels to safely begin providing bloodflow to all parts of his body.  Pray that realignment will allow him to be stabilized.  Please pray specifically that Connor will be protected from damage which might be caused by moving his bones around like this.

My son is in my God's gentle, competent, and compassionate hands.  Whom shall I fear?

So what does that have to do with Kansas, anyway?  Here's what - God has been giving us songs in moments of need.  Today, the song that came into Cherie's head had these lyrics...

"Carry on, my wayward son -

there'll be peace when you are done.

Lay your weary head to rest.

Don't you cry no more."

Can God use Kansas to bring comfort to his children?  

Apparently.

Day 5 - June 20 - Admin is up!

Well, folks, it looks like I'm back in - no one knows how or why, but divine intervention works for me! Something about prayer, perhaps? I'm reminded of Phillipians 4:6,7.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Note that it does not say 'only the big things' or 'only the things you are really worried about', or 'only the really serious issues'.

It says everything.

Everything, thank God.

Brad
Michigan - the 'high five' of America

Day 5 - June 20 - Admin Prayer Request

I'm posting this because Brad can't. It seems that there's been some sort of technical problem, and the guy who is administering this entire blog (my big brother, Brad) can no longer access the blog admin functions. He and the server administrators have been unable to locate the problem. He asked me to pray about it in order to keep the blog functioning correctly, and I could think of no better way to do so than to enlist the aid of the very folks who are relying on the blog for updates and encouragement.

Please pray specifically that Brad would regain the administrative access necessary to effectively run the blog, in order for it to be as effective as the Holy Spirit wants it to be.

Day 5 - June 20 - Hold Fast

My God is good.  He blesses me with hope even in the darkest night.  For those who do not know, I have a tattoo on my left forearm.  It's comprised of two words surrounding the symbol "pi".  The pi sign represents the constancy of my God, and binds me and my memory closely to Him and to my daughter.  The two words embracing the pi sign are "Hold Fast".  It's an old nautical term that loosely means "grab onto that rope and don't let go, even if you think it means your life.  Because it probably does mean your life if you do let go".  I've been fascinated with the phrase for years, and finally turned sailor long enough to get a tattoo of it.

Last night, I heard the song of that name (by Mercy Me) on K-Love.  The lyrics have always meant much to me, but it was exactly the perfect song to hear at that particular moment.  Here are the lyrics -

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope

You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes

I pray it blesses you as it blesses me.

Day 5 - June 20 - The view from the front seat

God is taking my family somewhere. I don't know where; I don't know how fast; I don't have directions. I don't know if my heart's desire, to see my boy fully restored, is on the itinerary. And so I struggle with an internal civil war, between what I want and my desire to be obedient to God's will.

A sister posted this verse -
"Psalm 119:37-Turn me away from wanting any other plan than Yours. Revive my heart toward You. Reassure me that Your promises are for me, for I trust and revere You."

After some discussion with Brad and others, it became clear that my thought processes about the "McDonalds" post might not have been as obvious to others as I thought they were. The ongoing discussion with my bros was about my strong desire to see my son walk again, and play his guitars and drums, and throw a ball again. I want so badly to see my son completely healed that I am almost refusing to consider being taken down any other road - the road to partial paralysis, for example; or the road to complete dependence on machines for the rest of Connor's natural life. I think it's a good thing for me to strongly desire and believe in the healing power of God. But if that strays into disobedience, then it's not a good thing any longer.

The word picture that kept coming to me was of a two-year-old, kicking and screaming against the strong arms of his father because what's happening isn't what he wanted. The child doesn't care what the parent thinks; he is getting dangerously close to blatant defiance. We've all seen the kids in supermarkets, or movie theaters, or even in our own homes, so you know what I'm talking about. That's what my McDonald's story was about - longing to go to one place, but being asked to put my faith in God for the journey without knowing the outcome at all, and how my heart's desire was in danger of transforming into a refusal to submit to God's will.

I don't want to be frightened by my Father God. I don't want to be afraid of His leading in our lives. I also don't want to have my son be anything but completely whole.

I spoke with my brother Brad for a moment yesterday, and the first question he asked was "How's the view from the front seat?", to which I answered "I can't see over the dashboard, but the road's really bumpy." He said, "Got your seatbelt on?" Such a simple thing, yet it hints that I may be beginning to transition from shock at our circumstances to some small steps toward an acknowledgment that God actually knows what He's doing, even when I can't see it.



Are we there yet?

Day 5 - June 20 - Admin Time Change

I just realized that the post time for this blog was set to Eastern time. I have changed it to Pacific Time to reflect what is going on in California. If you noticed a time change in the blog postings, remember that from this post on times are in Pacific Daylight Savings Time.

Brad
Michigan

Day 5 - June 20 - We need more prayer

This morning at about 0520, Connor's heart began missing beats.  In the next 30 minutes, he had six or seven episodes, ranging from one missed beat to numerous, with his heart rate often dropping as low as 24-30 beats per minute.  His heart recovered quickly each time, and his blood pressure responded appropriately, but the nurses decided that prudence dictated the best course of action.  As I write, they are doing a stat EKG, and they have stocked his room with medications designed to motivate the heart function as a precaution.  Additionally, they have moved the ominous-looking crash cart next to his bed, with the paddles and gel and stuff all attached.  Our night nurse explained that the thing we often refer to as a "defibrillator" is actually called a "pacemaker/defibrillator", and they can use it to regulate a persons' heart rate in addition to shocking one back into action.  Who knew?

I was just called into Connor's room.  Since only Cherie and I were here, and Cherie was already in, I shut down the computer and dragged it in to find my son in an agitated state, trying to push his breathing tube out.  While I was there, his heart missed another set of beats.  Cherie and I sang "Be still and know that I am God" to him, and he quieted.  Pray for him and for us.

Day 5 - June 20 - Singing & Crying

I'm typing from a hotel room in Crystal City, Virginia, across the river from Washington, DC. The sky is brightening, the room is still... I pray that Connor and family are getting the rest they need.

I spoke with Eric about 6 hours ago. He was at Chili's waiting for his salad to show up. You know that when a male Williamson eats a salad intentionally that he must have had a long stretch of not-so-healthy food. Eric confirmed this.

Eric told me that he and Cherié earlier had seen Connor... sedated, intubated, feeding tube in his nose, sleeping. They decided to try and encourage him, even if he wouldn't be able to acknowledge them or remember it, so they began to sing their "song of the day", The Steadfast Love of the Lord Never Ceases.

Cherié's beautiful voice began filling the room and Eric began harmonizing. They sang the entire song which slows at the end as they sing "Great is Thy faithfulness, oh Lord, great is Thy faithfulness." As the song slowed, Connor's breathing tube began to vibrate to the pitch they were singing. Was he subconsciously trying to sing with them? Or was it just a fluke?

Eric went on to tell me that he's struggling with despair? He sees signs of hope, but a voice whispers "false hope" into his head.

He told me, "I want my boy back." And then he began to cry.

Pray for Eric & Cherié... that they would see the morsels of hope and savor them.

Day 4 - June 19 - Scan Postponed

Waiting is always the hardest part. A phone call with Eric indicates that the doctors have decided to postpone the CT scan until Monday, and pursue alternative plans for the traction on Connor's spine and neck. God grant us patience, and we want it now! Eric was really looking forward to the results and hoping that the doctors could move forward aggressively, but as of now that will wait until Monday.

Everyone sounded in good spirits - Connor is sedated and resting quietly as I understand it, which seems to take the burden of a child in pain off of Eric and Cherié, to a degree. We'll let you know more as it evolves.

Brad
Michigan - the 'high five' of America

Day 4 - June 19 - Please Pray...now!

Doctors just informed Eric that they intend to examine the status of blood clots in Connor's neck shortly, using a CT scan or similar. If the precarious situation has improved, meaning the clots are no longer a threat, then the staff can work to stabilize and alleviate the conditions in his spine. This is significant as Connor is still considered as "not stabilized" following his injuries.

Pray that conditions have improved to the point that stabilizing work can begin, and pray for strength and courage for Eric, Cherié, and Joelle, and the support network at the hospital to respond appropriately to the developments. Most of all, pray that His will be at the center of our thinking.

The scan could start in the next few minutes, so if you can find a minute of quiet space, lift up our brothers and sisters in prayer.

Brad
Michigan

Day 4 - June 19 - Admin BLOG OUTAGE

I was just notified by blogger.com that there will be a blog outage for about 10 minutes starting at 2:00 pm PDT.

You will be able to read the blog, but posting new entries and comments will not be possible for about 10 minutes.

As Doug Adams said so succinctly in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy",

...Don't Panic!

Brad
Michigan

Day 4 - June 19 - Laptop on the way!

Rejoicing over small victories may become our stock-in-trade over the next few months, so I'm practicing being excited over the little things.

Danny just called - the laptop is on the way in an hour and will be there tonight, thanks to Melanie and Kim.

It is one of many short-term solutions that we say thanks for. Thanks for the people that make it happen, thanks for God for making it possible. Just another small way we can support the Williamson's in Fresno right now.

By the way, I find that I'm not fast enough to keep up with the pace of things in this internet age. I've had to rewrite this entry three times based on changes happening as I type.

Thank God that it's possible.

Brad
Michigan

Day 4 - June 19 - Laptop answer to prayer! Driver needed!

Danny Bonsell of West Hills Community Church graciously offered the loan of a Mac Powerbook for Eric and Cherié. That's called an answer to prayer, however mundane. Sometimes the little things escape us at a time like this.

Thanks to the others who offered - we'll keep you in standby. (grin)

We need someone who can get the laptop from Danny in Morgan Hill, to Eric in Fresno.

Anybody driving down tonight or tomorrow?

Please email me at brad (at) hcp-images (dot) com or call me directly at 269.465.6628 so we can coordinate.

Brad
Michigan

Day 4 - June 19 - Get in the car, son...

"Get in the car, son.  We're going somewhere."

"Are we going to McDonald's?"

"You'll see when we get there, tiger!"

"Can we go to McDonald's?"

"I said you'll see when we get there, child! It's time to get in the car."

"I want to go to McDonald's!  I want McDonald's!"

"Son, I know how to drive, I know where we're going, and I have something to show you.  I just want you to get in the car."

"But I want McDonald's.  Waaaah, I want McDonald's!"

"Son, it's time.  Get in the car.  Don't make me put you in the car; I want you to take my hand, and we're going to walk across the lawn and get in the car."

"But I want to go to McDonald's, Papa."

"You don't know where we're going - it's a surprise to you.  I can see out the windshield, and you can't see over the dashboard.  That's why I'm driving; because I can see where we're going. Trust your father to take care of you and get you where you're going safely. Let's get in the car."

"Okay, Papa.   But would it be OK if maybe we stopped at McDonald's?"

"We'll see, son.  We'll see."

My Father  knows how to drive.

Day 4 - June 19 - Got an extra Laptop?

While your prayers are at the top of the list of things that are needed, sometimes the more mundane items can be a place to help as well.

Eric and Cherié are in need of a laptop computer. Between the supporters at the hospital that need to see and be encouraged by your comments, and Eric and Cherié trying to get to a quiet place to journal on the blog, computer time on Joelle's laptop is at a premium.

Do you have an extra laptop lying around? Begged, borrowed, gifted, it doesn't matter. All it needs is to be working, with a browser and functional wireless, to be used at the hospital for anywhere from days to months, depending on the turn of events. If we were examining the proverbial horse's teeth, we'd ask for something running the Mac OS, since that is where they are conversant, but, quite frankly, for this purpose, anything would do.

If you are in a position to take care of this concern, contact Brad at bradwmson (at) hcp-images (dot) com, or Kent at kent (at) paladinpictures (dot) com, and we will help figure out how to get it to them.

Thanks,

Brad
Michigan

Day 4 - June 19 - Time to Pray

Eric just called me back with the following...

• Connor is entering a period of swelling that occurs after an injury like this. As a result his breathing will become more difficult, so the Trauma Doctor recommended that they intubate him now so that he'll have an easier time and be less fatigued. This is good but very difficult. Easier breathing means more rest, but Eric is very afraid that this may mean that Connor never comes off of the respirator. I tried to assure him (and he knows) that there are many people that come off of respirators every day, but when it's your own son it's all the more difficult.

• Intubating also means that they will be able to give him drugs to help him handle the panic and anxiety related to his condition.

• Then Eric mentioned the T word... Tracheotomy... the plan would be that they intubate him today and then perform the tracheotomy within the next 24 hours. Please pray for Eric and Cherié over this as well as Connor.

• The doctor asked Connor about this and Connor gave the doctor permission to intubate and move forward as needed. So as I type this they are placing the tube into Connor's airway in order to help him. This seems like the doctors "jabbing needles" into the child like someone mentioned in the comment they posted, but we know that this is for Connor's long-term good.

• C4 & C5 update... they are locked together. Normally 25 lbs of pressure is enough to begin to make them unlock. So far Connor has 40 lbs of pressure and they haven't unlocked yet. Please pray that they will.

• Trauma Doctor... Eric told me that the Trauma Doctor is a strong believer herself. She attended the Camp at Lake Hume (where Connor's accident happened) as a child twenty years ago. Her own children are scheduled to be there next week. Eric asked her if Connor was one of her own children would she have them at this hospital or somewhere else. She said she would have her kids right here in this hospital. Connor is receiving excellent care. Pray for this Trauma Doctor and the others involved to make wise decisions and that God will guide their hands.

• Tonight Eric & Cherié will be staying at the house that someone has made available for them. To the family that made this available... Thank you very much! This will be a big help.

• Eric asked for prayer for Cherié... the stress appears to be causing her heart murmur to be acting up. Her enzyme levels are way high and Eric doesn't want to be running back and forth to two different rooms in the hospital. Please pray for her. Her blood pressure medication is on it's way from home.

• Eric told me that a girl from camp wrote a letter to Connor that they have in a book at the hospital... She said something to the effect of "I wish I had pulled you out sooner. I saw you there in the water." Please pray for the folks back at camp that have been effected and impacted by this event. We truly believe that God is working in and through this event with Connor. There are reasons for it that will become more apparent down the road. No one needs to live in guilt over this situation. As Brad told me yesterday on the phone... "Kent, this was not a diving accident... this was a diving on-purpose." We continue to trust that God is working out His purposes in our midst. Let's see the wonderful things He has planned.

Day 4 - June 19 - Breathe and Sleep

I just got off the phone with Eric. They arrived at the hospital only a couple of minutes before my call, so he hadn't received the full update yet, but here is what he passed on to me...

• Connor slept through the night. Please pray that he'll continue to be able to do this.

• Connor is breathing approximately 30 times a minute. This is good. The alarm (which has gone off several times over the last few days) is set to call for help if the respiration rate is less than 8 per minute. Eric said he has seen it as low as 4 when Connor has struggled with despair. Please pray that this rate will remain at a level needed to sustain him without overexerting him.

• The traction folks and the neurosurgeon were just in the room with Connor. We should have an update on that later today.

I'll close with a verse that my cousin Belinda Williamson Cole left on her recent comment to the post Do you remember?...

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Phil 4:13

These are words for all of us to live by.

Day 3 - June 18 - Do You Remember?

Dear Eric,

This is not the first time you have had to battle for your son. . . .

Do you remember the time you came alone to Charlottesville for a visit, and you relayed the following experience?

You told Kent and me of a time in the recent past when Connor was asleep in bed (he was about 8 years old?). You woke in the wee hours of the morning with a terrible sense that Connor was in danger and you needed to rescue him. As you entered his room, you were aware of an overwhelming darkness filling his room, and the enemy was poised, ready to destroy Connor as he slept. You knelt at his bed, prayed fervently over him, covered him, and battled the enemy on his behalf. Your sense was that the prince of darkness had come and was seeking to devour Connor. You did intervene, and through the name of Jesus saw the enemy flee.

Upon reflecting on this experience with us, you were humbled and full of wonder and expectancy. You knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that God had a particular calling on Connor's life, that He had set him apart for a divine purpose. And Satan wanted nothing more than to not just thwart those plans, but to utterly destroy your son so that God's purposes would not be accomplished.

I have never forgotten sitting with you around our table and listening to you describe the encounter you had that night. And as I have seen Connor grow up, even from a distance, I have remembered, and have been anticipating the revelation of God's calling on Connor. I am also certain that Satan does not give up easily in his determination to destroy the servants of the Most High. He had an agenda with Connor that would certainly go beyond one night's battle. So now is not the time to give up. Not is the time to arm yourself and battle for Connor again. And the good news is this. . . . You are not one man battling in the middle of the night. You are now hundreds of believers around the globe all battling on Connor's behalf. And we are battling on your behalf, too. So it's not all on you this time.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.9Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.10And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.11To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5:8-11

I will pray as you asked, that you will see the mercies of each day and recognize that they are there. I will also pray for a spirit of hope to reside within and around you and Connor. And of course we are fervently asking God for Connor's healing and restoration.

We love you all,

Karen

Virginia

Day 3 - June 18 - C4 & C5 Vertabrae

Eric, I'm gonna need you to chime in on this one and clarify a few things...

In a conversation with Eric tonight I learned that the issue with Connor is related to his C4 & C5 vertebrae. I originally believed they were "crushed", but tonight Eric used the words "slipped out of alignment".

When they first put on the Halo they started it with 20lbs of pressure. Apparently they've been adding 5lbs morning and night so now it appears to be at 40lbs. The doctors plan on X-raying it each evening to monitor the change, but so far Eric hasn't learned much.

Connor lays in his bed which is set at about a 15 degree incline. The halo has a cable attached that goes up over a bar and back down to the weights so his head is being gently pulled up and slightly forward.

Eric said that today was a very tough day. Having Cherié's parents there have been a big help, but it still sounded like a miserable day for him. He expressed some of his anger at God, he shared his desire to change places with his son, he talked about his helplessness.

We talked about just putting one foot in front of the other. That's the only way to make it right now. I referenced the film What About Bob? by saying, "baby steps to the elevator, baby steps to the elevator." He chimed back, "I'm sailing!" in reference to seeing Bill Murray's character tied to the mast of the sailboat. It was one moment of laughter in a very painful day, but that's where we are right now.

Baby steps... that's all we can plan for. And I'm sure Eric and family feel "tied to the mast" of a ship they wish they could get off of. Pray for them.

Day 3 - June 18 - Despair. And hope?

A short update because I need to let you know what a blessing you all are to us.  This afternoon, I spent ten short minutes with Connor.  He opened his eyes, so I smiled into his face and whispered "I love you".  He kept gazing into me, and I defy anyone who has a hurt child to resist speaking hope and encouragement to them.  It started simply - first whispered encouragement, then seeing that his lips were dry and swabbing his mouth for him.  Quickly, my tender mercies to my broken child turned into too much stimulation for my boy, and he began to labor to breathe.  I struggled to calm him without making it worse, without success.  Within a few moments, he had locked his gaze on my eyes and was pleading for me to lift his head and pull his neck to relieve the pain.  I cried as I refused: I knew I would be endangering his health if I started moving his head, but the hurting, lonely, frightened little boy staring out of Connor's eyes understood only that his father wasn't helping him.

I'm weeping as I write this, for I failed to be the one thing a child always expects their father to be - I failed to fix it, to make it better.  Worse, I failed to help my boy when he needed me desperately, and I have always told him I would ALWAYS be there for him if I could.  I read my own betrayal reflected in his eyes.

I finally had to resort to calling the nurse and having her calm him, and I left the ICU in despair, but under control.  Until I ran into my friend Randy in the hall, when the dam burst.  To my shame, I ranted against my Lord - how could he be this unfair?  How little God must love my son, if He would do this terrible thing to Connor just for the sake of "blessing" some other person somewhere else?  Who does He think he is, anyway?  I wept and wailed and threw my agony into the face of a God I now saw as a cold-hearted bastard who would kill my child to make some other kid happy.

That's when the two mothers showed up.  They were the mothers of the two boys in the rooms next to Connor, both of whom are dealing with traumatic brain injuries.  Amazingly and unjustly, they were both receiving relatively good news today, while I...  Well, we spoke a bit, I admitted that we were not having a good day, expressing my frustration with God.  One of the ladies said "I've felt the same way - and I try to remember that this must have been what Mary felt, watching God take her son to the cross.  Yes, great things were promised for the future, but Mary probably couldn't help wishing it didn't have to be so."  When they had left, my friend gently asked me - "can you honestly tell me that God didn't bring her by to remind you that He knows exactly what a hurting Son feels like?"

That drained the poison from my wounded heart, and I have been moving through this evening on a post-adrenaline swamp of mixed emotion.  Until a few minutes ago, when Cherie and I got a quiet moment, opened the blog, and spent twenty minutes reading all of your comments. Then, your words of hope and encouragement, your scriptures and songs, allowed us to quiet our souls long enough hear the truth of your words.  By the time we had worked through the lot of them, we had been rejuvenated for another tiny step in this uncertain journey.

Just now my father-in-law came out and advised us that for the last hour, Connor has been sleeping and resting, breathing consistently and well.  My God is faithful, even when I doubt it.

And so we move another step.  Pray for us, that our faith would be strong.  The requests for Connor remain the same, and add one - that he would find sufficiency in God's Spirit communing with him during this time.  Pray that his pain recedes, and that his feeling increases.  Pray that his Heavenly Father would be more reliable to Connor than his earthly father is.  And thank you for your words - please keep them coming.  You are being used by God to sustain us.  We love you, family.

Day 3 - June 18 - More Admin

I'd like to encourage folks to consider leaving their location at the end of the their comments. It's neat to see from where on the globe these words have arrived. 

I've seen Cambodia, Asia, Switzerland, and that wonderful country of Texas (for those that don't know, that's where Eric, Brad, our sister Melissa, and I grew up). 

Don't give too much personal info (i.e. phone numbers or addresses). If there is personal info that must be conveyed please email it to either... BradWmson (@) hcp-images (dot) com or Kent (@) PaladinPictures (dot) com and we'll make sure it gets to the right people.

Also, if you'd like to send cards or care packages to the hospital, please address them to:

Community Regional Medical Center

Trauma ICU - 5th Floor

Patient: Connor Williamson T507

2823 Fresno St., Fresno, CA 93721 

Phone: (559) 459-6000 

Thanks to all,

Kent Williamson

Virginia

Day 3 - June 18 - Admin

Just a quick note from Brad - we are on the road two-thirds of the way between New York and home in Michigan. Can't begin to tell you how encouraged we are at the out-pouring of response from our global 'community'. Thanks to each and everyone of you that are supporting Connor, Eric, Cherié, and Joelle, from caring support to logistics to encouraging notes left on this blog.

Note that we have adjusted the blog to only show two days posts on the main page to make it a little less unwieldy. For posts earlier than 2 days ago, check the Previous Posts sidebar.

We are putting links that might be helpful or relevant on the sidebar under Links. If you know of some that you think should be included, leave a comment, and we'll try to incorporate them.

Tomorrow we will start to expand the ConnorWatch site - look for more information: a specific prayer list, what you can do to help, etc. some time on Thursday.

Brad

Day 3 - June 18 - The Rollercoaster

First, I wanted to say an immense and heartfelt "thank you" for everyone's prayers, support, and concern.  In particular to Brad and Kent for putting up this blog so everyone can stay updated.  Our family covets your prayers, and we have a great sense of God's provision through your contributions in prayer.

Today is a day of ups and downs.  The doctors have removed all pain medicine from my son in order to more accurately assess his sensitivity, so Connor is now continuously wrestling with pain.  They are giving him a medication to relax him and reduce his level of anxiety, something I find interesting - considering that he is currently trapped and unable to move, you would think that anxiety would be pretty high on the "What's Connor going through-o-meter".  Helping him with that would be fairly high on my to-do list, if you asked me.  He is able to resist the pain to some degree by concentrating, but any distraction causes him to begin hyperventilating and getting agitated as he struggles to control it.  This includes praying with him, reading Scripture with him, even just talking to him.  It has gotten so bad in this regard that the nurses have asked us to limit our visits in an effort to let him rest.  Needless to say, this is extremely difficult - how can you ask a parent not to pray, or sing, or talk with their struggling child?

So I haven't been able to see my boy much today.  We are surrounded by our friends and family members, which helps us remember God's care of us through His children.  We are aching to comfort Connor in anyway we can, but are forced to ration his exposure to the very people who long to comfort him.  Please pray that God would comfort Connor and begin to take the pain from him.  Continue to pray that the clot would be dissolved quickly, that we would be able to get his neck stabilized safely, and that we would be able to figure out how to get Connor moved closer to home soon.  Plead with God that when his spine is finally stabilized, his spinal cord will be able to still function and provide the sensation Connor has been missing since Monday.

So those are the downs.  A few of the "ups" - the doctors have cleared Connor to take liquids orally, which is a huge positive.  We've also gotten our laptop to the hospital and gotten connected to the rest of the world again.  Also, we found that the camp carries an insurance rider that will take over for us in the event my health insurance hits its lifetime limit, up to an additional $500,000.  Wow, what a blessing, and what a relief from a niggling financial worry that I know I'm not supposed to worry about but can't seem to get out of my mind.  Another up - one of the camp personnel, a fantastic and supportive man named Gary (who also turned out to be the father of Joy Hauge - a church sister of ours) has graciously offered us the use of his second home here in Fresno until we can get the boy moved.  What an amazingly supportive way for him to demonstrate Christ's love to us.  He has already taken over all the logistical thought processes for us while we're here, and now he does this.  I am overwhelmed with the compassion and generosity being shown to us by Gary and the other folks who have flocked to us in our need.

Finally, the one "up" that I don't know how to categorize.  Cherie was sitting with Connor this morning when he began crying "Somebody fix my legs, somebody move my legs".  Cherie adjusted and pulled on his feet, asking "like this?  Like this?", and Connor would respond "No, no, it hurts - OK, like that".  To both legs.  

It would be easy to say "wow, this means God is going to give him his legs back!!!!", but I can't think that.  I really don't know what to think about it - is he just hallucinating?  Is he actually feeling something?  I don't know.  The medicos say it's just his imagination, but I have to ask if that were true, and he couldn't actually feel anything, how he knew that Cherie was moving his legs?

I don't know.  I'm in anguish for my son.  If I could take his place on the bed, and trade the rest of my life to give him the rest of his, I'd do it right now.  I'm torn between an assurance that my God is sovereign and  is using this for His glory, and anger at how unfair this seems to be for Connor.  So I close this with the song I've been singing over and over, every day -

"I am not skilled to understand

what God has willed, what God has planned;

I only know at His right hand

is One who is my Savior.

I take Him at His word indeed;

'Christ died for sinners' - this I read;

for in my heart I find a need

of Him to be my Savior.

That He should leave His place on high

and come for sinful man to die,

You count it strange? So once did I

before I knew my Savior!

And, oh, that He fulfilled may see

the travail of His soul in me,

and with His work contented be,

as I with my dear Savior.

Yes, living, dying, let me bring

my strength, my solace from this spring -

that He who lives to be my King

once died to be my Savior!"

Day 3 - June 18 - Update & Prayer List

I just had a great conversation with Eric... tears, laughter, anger, etc. Pray for strength for him, Cherié and Joelle as they continue this exhausting struggle.

Here's the latest...

• Connor is still breathing on his own! Continue to pray that this is possible and that the respirator won't be needed.

• Connor has begun wrestling with depression. I believe this is a natural part of his journey, but pray that his faith will carry him.

• Yesterday he had feeling from his upper chest up, but then he began losing that feeling which crept all the way up to his cheeks. He lost all feeling in his mouth and bit his own tongue as a result. Eric said this is very scary for Connor. BUT... this morning he has regained feeling down to his lower chest. Please pray that he will keep as much feeling as possible.

• He has been able to move his shoulders, but yesterday a couple of times he was able to move his forearm (bend at the elbow). The nurses said that with this type of injury he should not be able to do this. As of this morning he has not been able to repeat this motion. Pray that Connor gains the use of his arms.

• Connor is in a lot of pain. They have reduced the medication to help test the sensitivity of his body, to see where he can feel. But this has left him in more pain. Pray for comfort.

• I learned from Eric that it will take 10-14 days for the blood thinners to work on that clot. This is very discouraging as that means up to two weeks before they can begin to treat the other issues. Please pray that this may happen sooner.

Lastly I want to share with you a story that Eric told me. His friends forced he and Cherié to leave the hospital last night and go to the hotel to get some sleep. They did and when Eric awoke this morning he grabbed a Bible and just flipped it open. It landed on Psalm 20, so he read it. I encourage you to read it... it provided great encouragement for Eric and probably will for you too.

Day 3 - June 18 - Thank You!

It's early on the east coast and even earlier in California, so I have yet to receive an update today, but I, on behalf of the family, want to thank those of you who have been praying for Connor as well as those who have been leaving comments on this blog and emailing us. Your words and prayers have been very encouraging. Thank you!

A friend in Switzerland sent this passage today... Colossians 1:9-17...

"Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul–not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

God rescued us from the dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He's set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.

We look at this Son and see the the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God's original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank of angels–everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment."

Day 2 - June 17 - Respirator, etc.

I just got off the phone with Brad who had new info... The latest update looks like they may need to put Connor on a respirator. Apparently since he can't use his chest muscles it requires him to breathe abnormally which becomes exhausting over time.

Please pray that the respirator won't be necessary as this will mean he will lose his ability to sing and have communication with his family.

The good news is...

• The camp where Connor was staying has made arrangements for Eric, Cherié & Joelle to get a hotel room right near the hospital where they can get a little rest.

• Cherié's brother arrived this afternoon and her parents are due in this evening.

• Joni Eareckson Tada's group has a ministry that focuses on people with spinal cord issues and other disabilities... word is a representative from that group is scheduled to meet with Eric and Cherié on Wednesday.

• When my father was in a coma in 1991 the doctors told us that if his condition didn't improve before the next day they would have to give him a tracheotomy for his respirator. There was much prayer that night and in the morning his condition had improved to the point where the trach was not needed. So please pray tonight for Connor! 

Day 2 - June 17 - Pinched Not Severed

We just learned that the MRI revealed that Connor's spinal cord is "pinched" and not "severed". 

They are also adding more weight to his Halo system which will continue to stretch him slowly.

He's been on blood thinners for 20 hours now which should be having an effect on the clot.

Day 2 - June 17 - Connor's Continual Testimony

I just got off the phone with Eric and Cherié. The situation remains very serious and the concerns over the blood clot still exist.

Cherié told me that Connor is singing hynms... he can't move a muscle yet he finds it within himself to sing hymns!

Eric told me this story... there is a terminal patient in the bay next to Connor who appears to braindead. Connor, laying in his bed with a halo on his head, saw this person's mother and asked her, "Would it be alright if I prayed for your son?"

This is the kind of person my nephew is... it's obviously a testimony to Connor's faith in Jesus Christ, but also a testimony to how Eric and Cherié have raised their kids.

Day 2 - June 17 - Prayer

How do we pray when tragedy like this finds us?

Make our requests known for healing, for miracles, for remarkable news... and then close with a simple, "Thy will be done." Not my will, but Thy will. God knows our hearts and our desires and of course He has a purpose for Connor that unfolds moment by moment.

Take a moment and lift Connor up in prayer.

Day 2 - June 17 - Tuesday Morning

I talked to Eric for a few minutes. It has been a long night.

Connor is alive, still breathing on his own. Last night they had expected to put him on a ventilator. He has had a halo installed (a ring on his head that lets the doctors put his spine under tension). I knew he was always a big Halo fan, but this isn't the Master Chief's helmet.

Each additional hour brings both hope and additional concern.

Connor is eighteen - this means the doctors expect him to control his medical care, not Mom and Dad. Very hard on Mom and Dad. Pray for them.

The doctors talked to Connor during the night. He understands now that if, and that is if, he survives, he will be paralyzed from the chest down. For a long time. Probably for life. They wanted him to understand that because he is seriously injured, the possibility exists that he may crash - flatline - die, at anytime. They wanted him to decide, knowing that he faces a life as a quadreplegic, whether or not he wanted the staff to resuscitate him.

His Mom and Dad can be proud. It isn't often parents will see their son in a fight for his life display the courage and conviction of Connor.

He said yes.

Day 1 - June 16 - The Hospital

Another phone call. Eric, Cherié and Joelle are at the hospital in Fresno.

Connor is alive. He apparently was diving into a lake, struck bottom, and fractured two vertebrae in his neck. He drowned before being rescued, was resuscitated, and then stabilized before being transported by helicopter.

Things are not good, but there are good signs. Though paralyzed from the chest down, he is breathing on his own, and talking on and off. His parents are with him, but there is little they can do but hope and pray.

Doctors are more concerned right now with keeping him alive than with the spinal cord trauma. Fluid filled lungs from drowning, damaged blood vessels in the neck, and life threatening blood clots are serious concerns that will occupy all of their attention for the next 24 hours.

Community Regional Medical Center in Fresno is the only Level One Trauma Center between Sacramento and UCLA so he is in good hands from the medical perspective. For everything else, he depends on you for prayer and encouragement.

Commit yourselves to holding Connor up before God in prayer.

Day 1 - June 16 - The Phone Call in the Car

The next time we talk, they are in the car. A friend of theirs, the father of the boy who rescued Connor from the water, has generously offered to drive them to the hospital in Fresno. They are on the road, and you can only imagine how much fun it is, sitting in the car for two hours just to get to your son/brother.

Not much is known yet. There is a little information, relayed from Life-Flight to the ground medical crew at the camp. Connor is alive. And he's seriously injured. That's about what we know.

Day 1 - June 16 - The Next Phone Call

A brief phone call to Cherié. Eric and Joelle are there, everybody frantically packing, trying to get organized enough for a two hour drive to the hospital, but no one yet knows what hospital it is. They are in contact with the camp - Life Flight is on the ground, but they don't know Connor's status. We'll talk later.

Day 1 - June 16 - It Begins

It begins with a phone call. Not a lot of information, just an upset and concerned grandmother on the line.

"Connor has been in a diving accident at camp. I don't know where that is, but it's a couple hours from Eric and Cherie's. Life-flight has been called. I don't know what to do."

And so it begins...