Day 175 - December 6 - Forgetting to remember

What a weird life we lead. I spend most of each day hanging out with the boy in one form or another - sometimes it's completely engaged with him, reading or watching TV or goofing off on the computer. Other times it's more peripheral, being the emergency responder in case something goes south while he hangs with his friends. And often it's a full-court press doing the actual work that caring for the boy often entails. Overall, we don't do much physical activity - it's a much more sedentary life than we've been used to - but we've never been so tired. It's just odd that we can have so little of a physical nature to absorb our time, and yet be so utterly tired at the end of the day. I can't begin to tell you how much we covet your prayers for strength to make it through our day.

Nearly every day, at some time or another, I watch Connor closely to see what he can do today. I pray all the time that the Lord would give him a new thing - a new feeling, or a new movement, or a new control - and the other day God answered that prayer again. I got a call from my excited wife to tell me that Connor has begun to be able to initiate breaths on command! He still doesn't have much power in those breaths, and remains reliant on the ventilator, but to see him control the breath rate with his own lungs is fantastic.

There's another new thing I just noticed the other day, as well. I realized that it has been weeks since Connor has had an extreme of temperature - either hot or cold. His temp was often dropping down to 93 degrees Fahrenheit, or spiking up to 101 or above. But he hasn't done this in at least a couple of weeks. It seems that his body is regaining the ability to self-regulate his own temperature! To my way of thinking, that's huge - I know that much of the literature tells me that SCI victims have difficulty regulating their temperature, to the point where they are often limited in what temperatures they can venture out into. So I am pleased to see that Connor's autonomous system seems to be responding appropriately in that area.

I was surprised however, at how easy it is to not notice something so significant, even when we've been so concerned when his temperature fluctuated so greatly. Basically, we went directly back to taking his health for granted, even with such a great reminder to not do that right in front of us. And that brings me to my biggest struggle these days - remembering God's blessing for more than a minute or two, even when it is sitting right in front of my eyes. I am astonished at how easy it is for me to focus my eyes on these circumstances and forget about the massive blessings God has poured out on us.

I don't want that to happen. I want to remember these things when I am tempted to despair by some situation through the day. I want to give glory to the God who provides even in the midst of trial. I want to praise the One who walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death. I don't want to take His goodness for granted, and I really don't want to overlook it.

So please continue to pray for us. We really rely on it, every day. We trust the Lord for His provision, but we also draw comfort from the support of His people.

God bless you.

Eric

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