Day 123 - October 16 - 4:36 AM
Four months ago today, Connor ran down the beach and into the water. This afternoon the medical profession will push us out the front door, dust off their hands, and send us home.
I typed that sentence at 4:36 AM - it is now 5:12. I spent the last 36 minutes trying to clear Connor's lungs enough for him to breathe and stay saturated. Since we're supposed to be able to do all this on our own, the staff doesn't help unless I holler.
I don't know how we can be successful at this 24/7/365.
God help us.
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posted by Eric Williamson @ 4:35 AM
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24 Comments:
You can Eric because God has given this to you and He will not give you anything you cannot handle. If we only truly knew our own strength...it would probably scare the @$#^ out of us. Hang in there bud...GOD IS WORKING MIRACLES!
Love you!!!!!! Have a TRULY BLESSED DAY! GIVE CONNOR BIG HUGS AND KISSES FROM FLORIDA!
God will help you! He is faithful!
Isaiah 41:10
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
That verse has been special to me and hanging on my wall since my daughter was born 10 years ago, 10 weeks premature. When we finally brought her home, it was a welcome relief, and a scary situation as well. After being under the care of nurses and doctors for many weeks, it was frightening to know that it was all up to us from then on! I imagine you all feel similar about bringing Connor home - it's almost bittersweet.
Praying for you all as you make the transition. Being at home is always a better place to be for healing and rest, and I pray that you will all settle in quickly, both to the familiarity of home and the unfamiliarity of new routines and procedures.
Isaiah 41:13
13 For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;I will help you.
God is good and He is able!
~Amy
Praying...Abba, Father, all has been laid at Your feet, all has been surrendered to You. We know that Your power is made perfect in weakness and Eric is feeling that he and the family aren't up to the tasks that await them. Give all of them just what they need today to move forward in faith, trust and dependency upon You. Lord God, reveal Your mighty power in Your perfect timing and Your perfect circumstances to this warrior family. May Your glory and Your power and Your love be made manifest in Connor so that there is NO other possible explanation for the transformation he will experience. Thank You, Lord God, for carrying our burdens, hearing our cries, and working all things for good for Your servants.
You can do all things thru Christ Jesus who strengthens you. You are contnuing in my prayers as you make this difficult, frightening transition.
Eric, be encouraged. For today, you only have to get through today, and God has promised He will provide.
I'm reminded of the Israelites traveling in the wilderness, gathering manna. Some gathered more than they needed, and found it rotten in the morning.
What was the point of gathering more than was needed? My guess is that they were concerned, worried maybe, that there wouldn't be any manna the next day. After all, God hadn't spoken to them, only Moses, and all Moses said was 'don't leave any until the morning'. Moses didn't explain anything about God's provision, just 'don't leave it until morning'. So on the face of it, it sounds like good planning, stashing away manna for tomorrow.
Why was it rotten in the morning? Sounds like God was making a point. 'Trust me', He says, 'I will provide for today'. Implicit in that promise is 'I'll provide for tomorrow, but you don't get to find out about that until tomorrow. You have to trust me.'
Interestingly enough, within six days, the Sabbath rolled around, and God told the people through Moses to gather twice as much as needed, to make sure they were provided for upon the Sabbath.
'Trust me.'
You can imagine the people's outcry. 'It'll be rotten in the morning!' 'It will melt in the sun!' 'We'll go hungry!1
'Trust me.'
And on the Sabbath morning there was no new manna, but the manna that previous experience told them should be rotted or melted in the sun, was fine, and was sufficient for the day.
'Trust me.'
'We'll never survive traveling the wilderness on nothing but manna.'
'Trust me.'
'There is no way in this baking Hades of a Sinai desert we will survive 40 simmering years on manna!'
'Trust me.'
'We can't possibly keep this up 24/7/365!'
'Trust me.'
Exodus 16, Matthew 6, Luke 12
Praying for you today. God Reigns!
Connor goes home today!!!
This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice & be glad in it.
May you know you are be uplifted & we are praying for strength and restoration for Connor and the family.
In His Grace,
KC, MH
You can and you will. Jesus did what he did on the cross out of ultimate love. You can do this (with help from your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and throw in a pagan here or there that has been touched by your family) out of ultimate love for Connor. You can direct multitudes of tons through the air, you can do this.
Plus, Cherie, well, us moms can do anything for our precious gifts. You will be in my prayers. Just like when they were babes, with a few hours of sleep, in the middle of the night, you will serve with a GREAT BIG heart full of love for your boy. God designed you to be Connor's mom. Your were hand picked for this by the hands that made the universe, to pour out love to your wonderful, redheaded boy!
Derendinger Family
Well said, Brad!
Eric, I think that you will be amazed at the strength that you will be given. When I was a little girl my uncle was paralized in a logging accident and spend his last 20 years in a wheelchair. I didn't think that much of it at the time, but now I wonder how my aunt did it. Not only did she care for her husband there was often someone else who needed a hand or a place to live. She raised cattle and tore down walls. I can't quite fathom it. After my grandfather died she took in my grandma. I think, though, that her secret to it all is that she had a mighty faith in her God. She knew that he would never leave her or forsake her. She is now in her 80s and still looking out for others. The God that she serves and that gave her strength is the same God that you serve and that will give you strength.
One other thing, Don't be afraid to let your community know when you need a hand. I know that that goes against the nature of most of us, but don't rob those around you of a blessing.
You can do it. You have a whole crew of people lifting you up.
"This afternoon the medical profession will push us out the front door, dust off their hands, and send us home." Eric - I am sorry you feel the medical profession is pushing you out the door. I don't think that is the way Connor's caretakers want you to feel. In fact, being in the medical profession myself, I know it's not. Please trust that they must feel you can handle it. They wouldn't send Connor home if they didn't feel that way. Also, know you have God on your side. It's been said so many times, but I will say it again..."He does not hand us what we can not handle". I will continue to pray for your entire family on this day.
From the sounds of your previous post, Connor is happy to be going home. This will really help his spirits and the spirits of your entire family. Please do not hesitate to lean on the rest of us. Even though you may only know us from the blog, we are all here for you.
Continuing to pray for you,
Mary
Wow, what a day in front of you. Some days will be good and some will be rough...I also thought immediately of the verse, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." I know that He will give you strength and help for each day. How we love you and are praying today!
I am off to the hospital...Wade's dad that had the stroke has a carotid endarterctomy (sp?) at 10:30 AM. As we pray for him we will all pray for you guys, too.
Miss you all!
Kristie for the Fresno Robinsons
We are constantly praying for you all, especially today. Brad is right though, God puts us through this stuff so that we will trust Him and Him alone - others are there provided by him to help and encourage, but our trust must be in Him no matter what. In my walk as a single parent I have learned that in spite of many times when I've felt out of control as far as my children's lives are concerned, he is very much in control and has been a real father to each one of them day by day.
Last night Abby (my 11 year old daughter for those who don't know) came in to me because she was scared of the dark. We had a power outage here. She laid down by me and asked me to pray for safety, then continued 'and can you pray also for forgiveness for our sins today, and that Connor will move again, that's my prayer each night' I hope that you can find some encouragement in the fact that an 11 year old with much on her mind prays constantly for Connor - I would never have known but for the outage!
Charlene - wow, what a testimony of God's faithfulness in your aunt's life!
Eric - this is a familiar passage, but please try to read it with fresh eyes:
Romans 8:29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (ESV)
God is in the process of conforming you right now. At the same time, He views the process as a done deal - He sees the finished product standing before Him in glory! He is for us - we who rebel constantly and undermine Him at every turn... And how can we think that He will not provide? He did not spare His own Son - but gave Him up for us to die in our place bearing our sins... Given that incredible fact - that He has given us Jesus Whom you have accepted and made Lord of your life - how will He not also graciously give us all good things? Is He going to give us the Ultimate Gift and not give us the lesser gift of enabling us to weather even the most horrific storm?
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY DARLING DAUGHTER
Cherie my mom, your grandmother has always been my hero. When her husband was dying of cancer, at home, she put on her big girl pants, and went back to college and got her nursing degree. She did this while under the stress of knowing she would be taking care of her ailing husband and teenage daughter. She was top of her class, and 4th in the state of Ca. in her finals. She never complained, her motto always was 'where there is a will there is a way'. She was 49 yrs. old competing with 'youngsters'. She would be so proud of you!!! You never complain, you just keep going, and doing what needs to be done. You may cry in private, but then you get on with helping your family. YOU ARE MY HERO. I wish I were more like you! You make us all proud, and grandma Hazel would be cheering you
on, if she were here.
With much love,
mama
Williamson Family,
None of us can even begin to think of all the emotions you are going through. Just to name a few, Excitment you get to bring your boy home, excitment to be a family again with just the four of you and your favorite munchy and movie. Excitment that you can sleep in your own bed, and take a shower when you want, to eat from your own fridge! Fear of not having staff right down the hall, fear of how long help would come should you need it, fear of the quiet of home.....God knows each of these fears and is here to hold you like a mother holding her baby. Tight, but tenderly. Know many of us will help as soon as we see you need us. Post when you need in home care, visitors, or just plain funny movies delivered.
We count it a honor to have taken the journey this far with you and want to see it through to the end. Not for our glory, but for His. Just as a earlier post said we will all stand in the street with you "banging" on the door for answers. In His time all will be shown. Look at what God has shown us thus far.....how to truly love a family member and what a REAL supportive family looks like. Eric you have shown us what a real man of God looks like, your wifey has been what some would call an amazing mother, and a real help/soul mate to you. Joelle has taught ALL Of us how to be a sister and to stand by our baby brother through thick and thin. Even to stand by our brother and sisters in Christ.
God will bless each one of you for what you have taught the world in the last 123 days! He has used you all through a terrible accident to teach us all amazing lessons and look into our own hearts and families. I am sad and sorry that you had to go through all of this so we could be blessed and taught such amazing lessons. God did know who was the right family for the job, and He has done a good work through you all. May His name be honored and worshiped for years to come because of all of you.
Many hugs from the Myers Family!
Ps. Our friends (in Gilroy)had their Connor and he is precious!
granny p. you said it best! and with so much love. I'm an unbeliever, though not a pagan 8) who's watching and caring. Whether there is a god or not, what we each need to do in life is "put on our big girl pants" and do what needs to be done. Every day, motivated by love and/or necessity, people do very tough things, and do them joyfully.
Cherie, Eric, Joelle, Connor: thinking of you as you all find strength and joy in a new way of life.
Eric,
You can do it. You have to. This is what you have been wanting...
Connor at home.
You KNOW all these Scripture verses. You KNOW the promises. You KNOW GOD will help you, Cherie, Joelle and Connor.
One day at a time - one step at a time.
Now, go do it.
GOD bless.
Dear Williamson's,
So much wonderful support and encouragement from this community! I can't add anything except our family's prayers and a very real willingness to help. Please call on us as the need arises. I know you have so many close friends and your wonderful church family, but our offer is sincere. Connor, welcome home and may our Lord bless this day for you all.
Sandi
Gilroy
Williamson Family,
Be encouraged by the so many comments that have been given. We have found that everyday is a nnew adventure, remember that. Valley would not discharge Connor if you were not ready. Yes, this is huge but you will overcome! Have faith in yourselves! Remember how you felt when you first brought Connor home? You made it then and you will now.
Call us anytime, day or night! Seriously, we are up all hours still too!
Much love and faith in your abilities!
Grannyp, What a beautiful post! You brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks, Lee, she is a true example of God's faithfulness. One of the most important things that I forgot was the years and years she spent leading Good News Clubs. Even taking on the town's School Superientendant for the right to do it. Also every year teaching the Bible story for our church's Vacation Bible School. I remember a few years ago when my oldest son was about 20 and he found out that she didn't teach that summer he said, "But isn't that like her most favorite thing to do?" The sad part about it is that I guess the new committee felt that it was time for a younger teacher, and the number of children accepting Jesus into their heart really dropped. We have a lot of community kids attend so what a loss. I still love to hear her tell Bible stories! Praise Jesus, that allthough she had every right to be bitter about what life had dealt her, I cannot even one time remember her ever complaining, just always praising Jesus. What an example that I was blessed to have and how many times I fall short of what she so clearly lives.
Charlene - I agree (about GrannyP's comment)!
Good News Club - I remember those! What a great ministry! That's sad to hear about her getting replaced... but yet another opportunity for her to exhibit a wonderful, godly attitude in a difficult situation! What a blessing for you and your family! And now, for us as well.
That reminds me -- I've been meaning to mention this for a while now -- I just want to praise God for the generations of Williamsons and Pattersons (two generations prior to Connor and Joelle that we know of) who have been faithfully raising up their children in the way of the Lord. The ongoing results of the work He has done in all of their lives is a beautiful thing to behold! God has shown His faithfulness to them through the generations, and He will not stop being faithful now.
Hi Williamsons and Comment Readers - I'm going to put something here that I also sent directly to the Williamsons - because it encouraged me so much, I felt lead to share it with you all and post it here.
This morning I felt the distinct leadign from God to try to connect the Williamsons with another family that we know. This is another homeschool family, here in San Jose - and the Dad was diagnosed with ALS 3 years ago - and the paths they have walked are quite similar to the path the Williamsons are about to embark. The Dad is wheelchair bound and ventilator dependant as well. And the wife/mom has been his caretaker. Anyhow - I contacted them to get permission to share their contact info with the Williamsons....
Anyhow - here's one of her emails back to me today:
Hi Maureen,
Would you mind sending me the link to their blog? Is it private?
You should hear my kids, they are so excited to help. It touches them especially deeply, because they know the struggles and he is their age. They are already planning on taking him out themselves, if/when his parents are comfortable with that. I think they are very un-intimidated by caring for someone like this because they are so used to their dad. Anyway, I told them to hold back their enthusiasm, haha, since we are not even sure what they need yet.
Anyway, they wanted to read the blog, if that's ok.
*****
This family has been through HUGE trials (and has seen the grace of God much like the Williamsons have) - even including that they're now temporarily relocated in another vacant home because their house caught on fire last month - while the house itself is fine, the electrical was totally shot - and well, you can imagine what that means when someone who's ventilator depedent lives there.
Anyhow - here they are, in the midst of their very difficult life, and they're EXCITED to help out the Williamsons.
Amazing - our God is so good. I also passed on to the Williamsons to tell Connor, when he's ready, ;-) - that their *kids* that want to take Connor out - are cute teenage girls...lol.
God is good....the lengths to which He will go to bless us - wow.
ttfn ~ maureen
Hi Family,
We continue to pray for you.
"Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor Me.
He hears you and desires us to continue to call on Him. Prayin' and Praisin'.
Love,
Praying4TheWilliamsons
san jose
Eric and Cherie,
Are you caring for Connor independently?? Do you have a 24 hour nurse? What is your insurance company offering you as far as assistance at home? Do you have equipment to care for Connor?
If you have had three shifts a day of doctors, nurses, nursing assistants, therapists, etc etc caring for Connor for the last 3 months, you are taking on the work of many, many people. I am guessing you might get so (appropriately) worried about Connor's respiratory status and you will not sleep, or you will not sleep well, at the very least. As you already know, this can have dire consequences on your health and abilities to care for Connor. If you have not already, at the very least line up 24 hour home nursing and make them pay for it. It is much cheaper for your insurance company for you to care for Connor at home than for them to pay for him to be in a care facility.
I am hoping that social work and the OT's have gone over all of this with you. I am here for your support should you need/want to call!
In prayer for ALL of you..
Kathleen Froess
We are holding you close in prayer. May God give you strength, grace, and clarity of mind to meet Connor's needs. We love you!!!
The Duarte Family
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