Day 78 - September 1 - Trudging
Woke up this morning in the same place we wake up every day. Already exhausted, hopeless, fighting to keep true to our beliefs against the deadening pain of this continued existence. It's like "Groundhog Day" without the optimism.
Please be praying that God would provide for Connor and go before him in the move tomorrow - that He would bring the right personnel to the ambulance ride; that the boy would tolerate the ride well without health problems; that God would be placing the right doctors, nurses, and patients there to provide for Connor's best situation; that God would place believers around the boy in the right places to be able to minister to him at the right times.
Today I feel perilously close to giving up. We are trying to be strong and courageous, but it's difficult to do so when all I can feel is how badly we are being defeated by our circumstances. Cherie commented this morning about how we aren't where we can see new mercies every morning - from here it's the same every morning, and there's not much mercy to be found. We read the Word, we pray, then we break camp and trudge off into the desert again. Are we there yet?
Blessings out of the move? Closer to friends. With our daughter. No RV rent. Our own bed.
Prayer requests? We don't have the first clue how to start preparing our home for Connor's return. I'm sure there are massive changes that have to be made - don't know what, don't know how, don't know how to pay for it. Don't know how to resolve all the issues surrounding trying to live in a 2-story house. We don't even have any idea how to arrange a workable schedule for the family.
Gotta get the day moving. Pray for us.
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posted by Eric Williamson @ 6:54 AM
16 Comments
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16 Comments:
Dear Eric, My prayers are with you. I am so sorry for the distress and discouragement. May God lift you up. May his Spirit breathe hope and courage and perseverance into your family. May you see his goodness as you go through the valley of the shadow of death. Love in and of Christ, CC
Eric, just take this one day - or even one step - at a time. I know you are stepping out in faith and right now that is how you will get through to the next day.
We hope Cherie is well. Both of you together will manage. Most of the concerns you mention are out of your hands - therefore leave those things at the foot of the Cross. Things will fall into place; just concentrate on today.
God go with you today and always.
MT
C'ville
Yup, don't look to tomorrow; only to todaY. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
You are being faithful, it just doesn't "feel" like it; but the truth is you are.
Lean Hard into Jesus...and keep leaning hard. Sometimes the only prayers I have is the Name of Jesus.
The mercies are there; they just might be hidden right now. If God says mercies are new every morning, thanit's so.
Isaiah 35
"...steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts. 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come....He will come to save you.'" And when he comes...."water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert."
I pray that all God's mercy will pour over you all, and they will be like streams in the desert. (I'm sure that means Fresno.)
I prayed for you all very early this morning. And you will be in my thoughts today.
Bonnie in Fresno (that's the only reason I could make that statement about Fresno.)
praying
All of the Williamson Family,
Know as soon as you all get settled into your new/old homes, and you can tell us after being here for a week what you need, there are an army of people that are here to help and follow your lead.
We do pray for health and safe travel Tuesday. Do try and enjoy your last day perhaps at that Hospital and take time to be able to embrace those that have taken care of you and your boy. What an amazing "crew" you had and an awesome "army" of people. God was good in whom you had care for you and He will provide again. Keep your ears and eyes open to His gifts.
I do pray Cherie is feeling well and that her body can hold one more day for her own blessed bed, kitchen, vacumn cleaner.....all her wifey stuff. ;0) We do love to "nest".
Hold fast to God
Amy S. Myers
A friend told me once, when I was going through a list of things that I worry about, that "anxious worry is a lack of trust in God's knowledge and care."
The amazing thing about that is that it is not only his "care" because we all know He cares, but it's His knowledge. He knows that you worry about those things, Eric. It's not only that He knows what He is doing in Connor's life, but He knows what is going through Cherie' and your mind too.
I know it's easy for me to say, because I am not in the situation, and in no way am I "preaching" to you. Believe me, I still worry about my problems, even knowing all that I know about God, but that is when I have to go back and say, "It's out of my hands. Please help me."
You also have a church that is going to stand by you, and they will not forgot about your family.
I will be praying that God does send you some new mercies today, and that you will be encouraged by something.
Your friend,
Chelle
Isa. 25:1, 4, 9 - "O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth...For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall...And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation."
Deut. 33:12 - "...The beloved of the LORD shall dwell in safety by him; and the LORD shall cover him all the day long, and he shall dwell between his shoulders."
Praying. His grace is sufficient for this and every moment.
Violet in Portland, OR
Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Praying your focus will be on today and today only. Let God work out tomorrow and the days ahead, after all, He already has!
Praying for healing and encouragement. For the new mercies He gives every morning to be evident. For His embrace to feel as loving and strong as we know it is. For wisdom. For peace.
Love,
Laura & Danny Slavich
Today is all you need to think about. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Once Connor is settled, I will be standing in line to visit!
As for the fixing of the house, if you need any plumbing please contact us. My husband is a plumber by trade and can do any work that you will need for Connor's return to home. As we don't have money to give, that will be our gift to you, I'm sure there will be someone out there willing to donate the materials, we'll donate the labor!
As always,
Michawn
Hello there...
I have thought about writing before, but I never have. We found out about you on another blog. Korrine Croghan is a 14 year old girl fighting for her life against cancer. You can check out their blog at korrinecroghan@blogspot.com They too are a christian family that through there blog give us the privilege to see a glimpse of their life and we get the honor to know some specifics on how to pray. Much like you and your family. I am so thankful that our God cares about the details! Back to why I am writing....I want to remind you of a couple of things....
1. When things don't seem to make any sense....God IS still in control. We may not understand how or why, but we know that HE is in control.
2. Exodus 16:4 "I will rain down bread from heaven for you"(partial quote). God provided manna for Moses and the Israelites each day. When they tried to save some for the next day it would spoil. They learned to trust that God would provide what they needed each day. I want you and your family to know that this is my prayer for you...to remember that God is going to provide the strength, energy, His peace, whatever that you need for today. He will give you energy, strength,and His peace all over again when tomorrow comes. I am sure that it is overwhelming to think of this week, not to mention next week and so on. Just focus on today, and know that there are SO many people like me and my family who have stumbled across your story and are praying for you regularly. Celebrating with you during the moments like Connor getting to be outside, and feeling a little bit of your fears as new challenges come your way. Hard to even imagine how many lives you all are touching by sharing your story with all of us out here! That even in this...God is working good. Our God is good!!
-Cindy
(from Livermore, CA)
I'm going to try it again. I wrote a long post and hit "Publish Comment" and lost everything, just like someone else mentioned here. So I'll see if I can remember what I wrote.
I want to say, that we so understand how you are feeling right now and so does the Lord. When you said, "
Today I feel perilously close to giving up." I feel that way sometimes, and I'm just going through normal difficulties, not anything like you all are going through.
When I feel that way, and I know with you, it's Satan that is trying to bring us down, and cause us to want to "give up." We have to fight him and cling to the Lord through those times. We are praying for you to not be "defeated by Satan," but to just come and cling to the Lord for help. And other's who are praying for you.
Also, I wanted to respond to your last post, "My Atrophied Faith- part 2." I honestly couldn't agree with you more in everything you said here. God wants us to come to Him with our requests and cry out to Him for help.
His "will" is for us to come to Him, cling to Him, live our lives for Him. That's His will. Even in the Lord's prayer, where it says, Matt. 6:10: "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in HEAVEN!" When I think of Heaven, I think of the angels all around the Lord singing, and praising the Lord. I think that is what He is saying in that verse. That's His will, that we Glorify the Lord in all we do.
I think so much about David in the Bible, when he fasted and prayed and cried out to the Lord for days for God to heal his baby son. For some reason, God didn't answer David's prayer the way he asked. But David accepted it, go up, cleaned himself up and went in to eat. He didn't understand, but He knew God was in control and accepted His answer. And I think that's what you were saying, about praying for healing until God gives an answer.
And I think of the passage in Luke 11:5-8: And He(Jesus)said to them, "Suppose one of you shall have a friend, and shall go to him at midnight, and say to him, 'Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him'; and from inside he shall answer and say, 'Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.' "I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his PERSISTENCE he will get up and give him as much as he needs." And this is a chapter on the "Instruction of prayer."
We are continuing to uphold your whole family in prayer, and pray for complete physical healing of Connor!
With love in Christ alone!
Kim from the Thomas Family
I will pray for the move tomorrow that all goes smoothly for all of you and that God will give Connor peace of mind as changes are made. Still praying for complete restoration. Remember to focus on today and don't worry about tomorrow. I am a Public Health Nurse in Santa Cruz County. In my experience, the Rehab staff at Valley Med will work with you to figure out accommodations to your home which will meet Connor's needs when he is ready for that step. If you haven't already done so, I recommend that you contact the Medi-Cal eligibility office and In Home Support Services in Santa Clara County to start the application process for assistance with in home care. I don't know if Connor will be eligible, but you won't know until you apply. The Social Services staff at Valley Medical Center should be able to help you with this application process. May God continue to encourage you and give you the patience to wait on Him for answers and direction. God Bless All of You. Joan G
Hi Connor & family,
I have been looking at your blog now for 2 plus weeks since I found out about it from Pam Delgadillo. You were on my heart a lot last week and I pray for you on the way to work. I listen to a CD I made of some of my favorite worship songs and thought I'd share one of them with you as an encouragement during your struggles and sometimes despair.
It's called Still/Be Still (combining two songs together and scripture in the middle)
Hide me now under Your wings
Cover me with-in Your mighty hand.
Chorus: When the oceans rise and thunders roar. I will soar with You above the storm. Father, You are King over the flood. And I will be still and know You are God.
Find rest my soul in Christ alone.
Know His power in quietness and trust.
Chorus again
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am God.
I am the God that healeth thee.
I am the God that healeth thee.
I am the God that healeth thee.
(Isaiah 43)When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God....Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm. Father, You are King over the flood. I will be still and know You are God. I will be still and know you are God. I will be still and know You are God.
God bless you guys during the big move tomorrow. I will pray for peace, strength, courage during the next couple days during this move and all the whirlwind that will encompass Connor and mom & dad.
Kathy
On June 15, if anyone had asked you what you would do if one of your children drowned, was revived, but suffered a neck injury that caused full-body paralysis, wound up in the hospital for 2 1/2 months with no clear end in sight, would you have been able to answer them with anything remotely resembling what has taken place over the past 78 days?
Yet God is faithful.
Turn and see...
Remember what He has carried you through thus far. He will continue to do so. And I will continue to pray for you.
In His Love,
Jenann
PRAISE GOD for the wonderful news that Connor is moving close to home...it is the day that you long anticipated but, now that it is here, reality sets in. I went through the same thing with my daughter 11 yrs ago and have lived to talk about it :) but at the time I wasn't so sure that I could do it on my own. Thanks be to God for His tender care, for Christians who surrounded me (some whom I didn't even know), and for my family!
My only advice (aside from continuing to trust in God & keep up the website) would be to have someone be your "buffer" just as you have done in the hospital so that you are not overwhelmed with people's offers.
Also, as Joan in Soquel wrote, work with discharge planning / social services from day #1 at Valley--they know so much about home care, financial assistance, and adapting your home. We moved a hospital bed into our living room for several months and found most of our rooms / doors were big enough for a wheelchair. Don't hesitate to ask for assistance and just have a big workday to re-do what needs to be done--we're out here to help!
Our love and prayers from 1st Ripon CRC (we go to church w/ Todd from your work). Cheryl
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