Day 104 - September 27 - Abandoned and isolated
Connor hit a low spot today in his attitude, feeling abandoned and alone in this journey of his. He was feeling dejected and frustrated at the rehab he has to do, which he says just shows him how little he can do now. He told Cherié that now he's "nothing but a worthless POS".
Of course this is a lie from the pit, but Connor's use of the vulgarity indicates how strongly it hits him. I spent quite a bit of time tonight trying to show him the falsity of that idea, and having a very good friend spend time with him this afternoon also helped him greatly, so that he was on a more even keel by this evening.
All of us go through these moments or days of desperate agony, so we help each other work through it as best as we can. Please be praying for the boy, that God would speak to him, and that God would give Connor a glimpse of the things He is doing in the boy's life. He needs God's intervention badly.
It's already 12:30 AM, so I'm going to cut this short. Hopefully I'll get additional stuff out Sunday sometime. Sunday (9/28) is "X" - everybody ready? Connor and I talked a bit about it, and I've only got one "X" word that actually starts with "x" -
"XENOPHILE" - which means someone that likes people that are different. If there's thing to be said about God, it's that He loves all of us sinners (who are VERY different from Him) so much that He intervenes in our lives through His own son. If that isn't reason to praise Him, I don't know what is...
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posted by Eric Williamson @ 3:09 PM
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17 Comments:
Connor please don't allow Satan to lie to you and rob you of your victory. You have come so far and touched so many.
It is tough. No doubt about that but you are alive and have so much to offer. Worthless??? No way -
JESUS CHRIST gave HIS life for you!
You've had your moment of darkness, now shake it off and get back to that wonderful guy that has so much more to give.
"Our earthly sight is limited,
The future we can't see;
Let come what may, one thing we know,
Our GOD will faithful be." --Hess
~Shayne & Thomas, Hollister
I've been playing online, waiting anxiously for your post so I could add my X word that I thought was soooo cool! Guess what my word was?
mmmm hmmm....Xenophile! Okay, so I have to use one of my alternate words (which will require a bit of license in how it applies as an attribute of God). Okay, here we go:
Xeric - adj. Of, pertaining to, or adapted to a very dry environment.
Deserts are extremely dry environments, whether you're speaking of literal or metaphorical deserts. God led the Israelites through a literal desert; He was their guide, their wisdom, their sustenance, their rescuer, their Redeemer. He went before them in a place that was seemingly devoid of life and He sustained them and delivered them.
God also leads us today through spiritual and emotional deserts. His Word is our wisdom, His Spirit is our Comforter, His Son is our strength...our Redeemer...our portion. God sustains us even when life seems barren and hopeless. He meets us where we're at and leads us eventually to a place that is filled with rest and refreshment.
This is my prayer tonight for Connor. That while in this particularly barren valley, God would meet him where he's at and provide spiritual refreshment and rest. I pray that Connor would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God goes before him and will sustain him, no matter his physical condition.
Hang in there, Connor. God is with you in the desert.
In Christ,
Jenann
Xtraordinary - The missing letter is just like God...you may not see Him, but He's there.
Hang in there Connor!
I just finished reading the book, "The Shack" last night. It was pretty interesting. Has anyone else read it? I was a bit skeptical at first, but it did give me the opportunity to see God from another perspective.
This is a stretch, but how about
XENOMORPHIC? It means of rock having the form different from the normal form because of pressure. Now God the rock is deffinitely a rock with a different form than we are but not because of pressure. Though because of pressure we certainly do change.
Jenann, your post got me to thinking of one of the songs going through my mind the day of the ROCK blog. It's one of my favorites and I can hardly sing it without tears because of the truth of it in my own life. I'll just type the chorus:
He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock that shadows a dry thirsty land. He hideth my life in the depths of His love and covers me there with His hand, and covers me there with His hand.
Connor don't let Satan get by lying to you in that way. We're still praying for your healing, but even if God says, "No" you would never say that Joni Erickson Tada is worthless. God has used her in ways that are making a difference in His kingdom far more than I ever will. Would I want to trade places with her? No, but I see such value in her life. Now, when I get to heaven and see all of her rewards I might wish that I had traded her places.
This may sound crazy but with the economic crisis going on and some things happening in Europe I believe our time here is getting short. If anyone gets a chance to watch Dr. David Jerimiah's Turning Point today, do it. It's fasinating but a bit scary. Hang in there, Connor.
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus. It will be worth it all when we see God. One glimps of His dear face all sorrow will erase. So, gladly run the race, till we see Him.
Lee and Jenann. I value your posts. If you ever come through Albany, OR look us up. I'd love to meet you. Actually, I'd love to meet everyone on this blog. We have for sure become a big family as we lift up Connor. Of course, Connor, I especially hope to meet you someday. You are an awesome young man. I better close this post or you guys will all start thinking I value Lee's posts too much. (Just kidding :) See, we are getting to be family. I'm kidding with people I don't even know.
One more thing. Connor, When I got on this morning there we 80 some people on your site. I don't think that I've ever seen that many people on at one time especially not on a weekend. God loves you so much and wanted an XTREME amount of people lifting you up.
"But the voice from heaven came again, `If God says something is acceptable, don't say it isn't.'"
Acts 11:9
Connor,
You may feel this situation has made you "worthless" but God knows better. The reality is that you are being used by God as a means of strengthening others in relationship with Him.
That's not to say it doesn't stink for you, but God loves you...lots. Don't buy into the lies of the enemy. Your life counts. God said so.
Jeff for the Slavich family
Xray- God sees and KNOWS are minds and hearts. God will help you through the toughest of times and the best of times. Lifting you up before the throne of God with the latest and will ask that God will reveal Himself to you. Stay UPlifted, Connor, you are special and precious to God and in HIS good hands.
The Wrenns
Connor, my word also requires a tiny bit of leeway: Χριστός (Khristos) = Christ which means Messiah or Anointed. Yes, the chi only looks like an "X" and isn't pronounced like one, but I hope you'll allow it.
Because... while priests (particularly high priests) and prophets in the Old Testament were called "the anointed of the Lord", or "the anointed of God", only Jesus is "the Christ", or "the Messiah/Anointed"!! I won't get into all the passages in Hebrews which talk about Jesus as our High Priest - rather, I'll leave you with this passage:
Isaiah 53:2 For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant,
And as a root out of dry ground.
He has no form or comeliness;
And when we see Him,
There is no beauty that we should desire Him.
3 He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
4 Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed. (NKJV - emphasis added - notice the change in verb tense! This healing is spiritual, of course - but that's what you needed yesterday, Connor, with the lies of Satan swirling around in your head...)
With much love and prayer,
Lee
P.S. Charlene - wonderful hymn! One of my favorites, too! Thanks so much for your kind words. As you say, it would be wonderful for us to have the opportunity to meet anyone we've come to know and love through ConnorWatch! Now there's an interesting idea... a ConnorWatch picnic! (Of course, we live in Morgan Hill as well, so we'd just have to travel a few miles :-)
He is the: xiphoid process
The xiphoid process, also known as the xiphisternum is a small cartilaginous extension to the lower part of the sternum which is usually ossified in the adult human. By age 15 to 29, the xiphoid usually fuses to the body of the sternum with a fibrous joint. Unlike the synovial articulation of major joints, this is non movable. Much the way the first seven ribs articulate with the sternum, the cartilage in the celiac plexus joins on the xiphoid process, reinforcing it, and indirectly attaches the costal cartilage to the sternum.
I know it seems to be a stretch, but He is the One who knits ALL things together!!
Praying with you - Connor, Eric, Cherie & Joelle
Paul Belt - Visalia, CA
He is X-cellent! Haha. My brother tells everyone that I always cheat at games. I don't, only when I am playing with him. :)
Truth is, I read every one of those words that someone posted, but I am not smart enough to see how they could have been used to pertain to God.
Connor, coming from someone who has physical pain almost every day of her life (although, nothing in comparison to you), I do have my days when I feel worthless too. Yet, I know that when I am in my deepest despair, I that all those thoughts are lies from Satan.
I think about all the people who see me through eyes of love, just like God sees me. I have so many people in my life who see me beyond my disabilities, that even I cannot see, but they do.
You have so many people who love and pray for you daily. You are not a "POS," nor will you ever be, Connor. Whether God chooses to heal you or not, you are a precious gift. We see you through different eyes, my friend.
May God encourage your heart today!
Tex & Cherie - we had a bbq with the COG guys from No. CA, and your names came up. Most of them knew you name from the newsletter, so I gave them an update. None could quite imagine what your family is going through, but each and every one of them sends their caring thoughts and/or prayers to both of you, Joelle, and especially to Connor. Thinking of you always.
Lisa S.
Paul & Chelle - as my lovely wife pointed out to me the other night when she was looking into "X" words, xiphoid means "swordlike", which precisely describes the lower end of the sternum. So here are some good - no, awesome - verses for you (and I'll get in some of the Jesus as our High Priest references, after all):
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. 14 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (NKJV)
Note: verse 12 uses a different Greek word than xiphos for sword, though it is the same word that is used in the passage below. See this page for the details on the xiphos: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xiphos
Ephesians 6:14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. (NKJV)
Dear Connor,
You are worth more than you can EVER know!!!! You have touched my life in such a wonderful way!! And I know you have touched sooo many others also!!! You are an angel sent from the Lord!! God is using you in a mighty way!! We don't know the exact plans He has for you, but we know He is in control and has wonderful plans to use you to glorify Him!!!
We still continue to pray for you on a daily basis! We know it has got to be so very tough for you, we can so understand how hard it is!! You mean more to us than you can ever imagine. The Lord is really working through you!!!
We love you so much in the Lord!!! We're all family here, and we care for you greatly!!
Love,
Kim & Ken Thomas
Lee,
The Hebrews 4:12 verse reminds me of one of the other X words I have:
XYSTER - n. a surgical instrument for scraping bones.
While this is a literal hand-held tool used by a doctor, don't we often refer to God as the Great Physician? And when applied in the spiritual sense, "xyster" seems apropos. God's Word gets into us, into the deepest parts of us, and sin is "scraped away" like so much disease.
Pretty cool, eh?
Charlene, thank you for your post. I'm really touched. Be sure if we're ever in your neck of the woods, we'll work things out so we can meet and spend some time with you. :) The invitation is reciprocated...to you and anyone else from out of town who finds themselves in good ol' Morgan Hill!
Blessings and love to all,
Jenann
P.S. Connor, I'm praying for you as soon as I hit "Publish Your Comment." ;)
Lee and Jenann and everyone else on the blog, I'm serious if you're ever in the Albany,OR area stop in.
We cook a mean burger. :) 541-967-1849 I love the picnic idea also, to bad so many of us are so scattered. We could sure have us a prayer meeting like no other.
Oh, Connor, how I understand your feelings. If there was one thing I could do for you is encourage and tell you it is all okay. God hasn't left you. In fact, He is caring you in His arms getting you to the next level. God and His many angels were there for me and I know without a shadow of a doubt they are with you. It is so hard looking around at the other patients, wanting to be able to have their abilities and not your own. I was there at one point.
I never once blamed God for my injury but why wasn't He healing me faster? I have been learning that He has been healing me. It may seem to take forever but how else is gold refined or a warrior readied for battle. Remember where you were 3 months ago? When you arrived at Valley, what were you able to do? Has it changed?
I know it is hard to stay positive and there are days when it's just hard to get out of bed. It bites that this is where we have to be in our earthly bodies but keep your eyes focused on the prize.
Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has set down at the right hand of God."
Remember this, their are people who are watching you. We all have issues but here we are gathered to cheer you on! Connor, you are going to make it! This is just a season. You are a warrior, athlete, student, and son. God hasn't left you because He carries you through your darkest times!
Eric, Cherie, Joelle, and Connor, we are here and understand. Call anytime. Many, many hugs!
love 'ya guys is all I can say--I can't type too great w/ one hand--I think I told you I fractured my right wrist but I also bruised my sternum at the Xyphoid process and can tell you it's little but important! We may seem small & insignicant in this world at times but God knows better! Each of us (and especially you, Connor) have a special place on earth & in Heaven some day. Cheryl
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