Day 65 - August 19 - Step Down
Somehow we made it through the day. Y'all know what a day it's been. You know how it started, and how we've been declined from the facility near home. The follow-on discussion disclosed that there is nowhere nearby that believes that Connor can be weaned from the ventilator, with the possible exception of one facility in Sacramento somewhere. For those who aren't familiar with California geography, that's further away from our home than Fresno, albeit in a different direction. We are also expanding our search for someplace that can help Connor, even if it is further away from home. We want to go home, but so far God has not seen fit to allow it.
The day also involved both Cherié and I falling to pieces, fortunately at separate times; not being able to feed Connor dinner until two hours after we wanted to; being booted out into the waiting room during the shift change because of patient privacy concerns, even though we are in a single room with a closed door; and finding out that the lung treatments that in the ICU had been reduced to every six hours (and not at all during the night) have been stepped back up to every four hours around the clock, a surefire way of making sure Connor doesn't get to rest.
There have been a few silver linings, although it sure feels like I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel to find positives in this situation. The recurrence of pseudamonas, recently bemoaned by myself earlier this week, means that they had to put Connor in a private, enclosed room. We realized what a blessing this is when we saw some of the rooms in the step down unit, which are small cubicles divided from the nurse's main room by a curtain and without windows of any sort. The patient lies in a bed looking into the ward. Connor's room has a window with a view of downtown Fresno, and which never receives the baking blast of afternoon sun his old room got. So there's a blessing or two in there somewhere. We also were told by one of the nurses that, while the step down unit used to see a one- to two-day turnaround, they now have patients for much longer periods of time, such as a man who left step down yesterday who had been there since April. If we are here that long, they'll have to discharge me to an insane asylum.
God has a plan. I feel like adding "if He exists" to that sentence, but I know better. So I can only close this with my constant prayer, a few verses from my favorite Psalm, number 13:
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Please pray for us. Also please lift up Joélle, as she has had to return to Morgan Hill by herself for work. Please pray that she would not feel guilty - she feels that she's betraying her brother by leaving. While I remember, I also want to say "thank you" to those of you who have reached out to my daughter while she's alone at home. Your compassion is such a blessing to her, and to us.
----------------------------------------
Print This Page
posted by Eric Williamson @ 11:43 PM
17 Comments
Links to this post
17 Comments:
Hi Family.
You're right. God does have a plan, for all of you and in all you are going through. Just don't know what is it...yet. Praying for you all daily.
Hugs and prayers,
The Serio's
Oh, Lena heard a song this morning on our CD player and she ssid it reminds her of Connor. It's a song by the Katinas. Here are the lyrics:
ONDE MORE TIME
Written by Sam Katina
Lord, I saw your face last night
When I looked in the sky
You were smiling
You told me it would be okay
You would make a way
In my dark times
Every time I hear Your voice
Every time I feel Your touch
It makes me know that I can face tomorrow
One more time
When all my friends go away
I'll be glad to say
You're still near me
Even when the wind blows by
I feel warm inside
You're so lovely
Repeat Chorus
I need you, don't leave me
Without you I can't survive
Repeat Chorus
I know that I can face tomorrow
'Cause you will walk me through my
Pain and sorrow
I know that I can face tomorrow
One more time
I can face tomorrow
You can face tomorrow
We can face tomorrow
One more time
Eric, my friend, my dear brother in Christ - we're praying for you! Fall back to what you know, based on God's Word. Regroup. Recharge. Hold fast.
Psalm 119:81 My soul faints for Your salvation,
But I hope in Your word.
82 My eyes fail from searching Your word,
Saying, “When will You comfort me?”
83 For I have become like a wineskin in smoke,
Yet I do not forget Your statutes.
84 How many are the days of Your servant?
When will You execute judgment on those who persecute me?
85 The proud have dug pits for me,
Which is not according to Your law.
86 All Your commandments are faithful;
They persecute me wrongfully;
Help me!
87 They almost made an end of me on earth,
But I did not forsake Your precepts.
88 Revive me according to Your lovingkindness,
So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth.
89 Forever, O LORD,
Your word is settled in heaven.
90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
You established the earth, and it abides.
91 They continue this day according to Your ordinances,
For all are Your servants.
92 Unless Your law had been my delight,
I would then have perished in my affliction.
93 I will never forget Your precepts,
For by them You have given me life.
94 I am Yours, save me;
For I have sought Your precepts.
95 The wicked wait for me to destroy me,
But I will consider Your testimonies.
96 I have seen the consummation of all perfection,
But Your commandment is exceedingly broad. (NKJV)
Lee
Eric - I was out of town for a few days, and have been catching up on a bunch of posts and even more comments, and I've been working on this comment for a day or so... I really appreciated your openness in your post, Day 60 - August 14 - My Atrophied Faith - Part 1. And I thought there were some very wise words in many of the comments, particularly from Michelle, Anonymous (5:07pm, August 14), and Anonymous (7:10am, August 15).
Please consider listening to this message from John Piper to 2,000 students at a Texas A&M event called Rez Week in 2007: Radical Effects of the Resurrection. In it he spends a great deal of time on Colossians 1:24 "I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church," (NKJV)
The message contains much that is in a similar vein to the comments from Anonymous (5:07pm, August 14) in your Atrophied Faith, Part 1 post - Piper even talks about Richard Wurmbrand, who, with his wife, founded The Voice of the Martyrs. He mentions some of the incredibly challenging things Wurmbrand said about embracing suffering.
Finally, there are these two quotes from the sermon, which I'll add to further entice you to listen: "The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ are precious to me not because they turn my life into a string of successes, but because they keep me from collapsing under my string of failures," and, addressing the believers in the audience, "your final healing is as far away as your resurrection from the dead; however, your invincible joy of hope is as close as the risen Christ."
Lee
Look at the marvelous, red, bubbly, clusters all over the map.
"I will lift my eyes, to the Heaven, from whence my Help comes from."
Tex, Cherie, & Joelle - a BIG hug to all of you from me. I wish I could be there in person to give it to you. The day's events souns so very awful. You knew the stepdown unit, while it is still a good sign, was going to be filled with it's own challenges. Just seems they were all tossed at you at once! But you are a strong and cohesive unit that will move through these new challenges together, just as you have been from Day One. Thinking of you always.
Lisa S.
God's word guided you before Connor's accident, it was meaningful, God used it to teach and encourage and exhort you. Now you (and we who are following your journey) cling to every word of His Word, seeking the marrow, stripping every bit of truth and hope from it. If there was ever any doubt in my mind that God is real and that His Word is living truth that doubt has been smashed. He is here, no matter where you go, even the depths of Hell. There is no where, no where, that you can go where He will not be.He is there where you are now, in the pit, and He will not forsake you.
These verses are for your encouragement:
2We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. 3We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
4For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. 6You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. 7And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. 8The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, 9for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, 10and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
Dear Williamsons, your faith has become known everywhere.You are imitators of Christ, despite severe suffering, you welcome the message with joy.
With love,
Michele
Brad or Kent,
Is there a way to set up a link to Bible Gateway on the blog? It might be helpful for some, especially if someone is following Connor's story but is not so familiar with Bible sources online or they don't normally keep a Bible handy for whatever reason.
Not that you don't have enough work to do!
I was afraid to post this note from a friend who read the blog "A Challenge" because I felt it had no relevance to the troubles you had to face yesterday. After re- reading it, I felt inspired and thought you could use this little message?
Sarah wrote: wow Carolyn, this is a remarkable family
It is funny how people are always willing to talk about the local football team or last nights hockey game but when you bring up God everyone gets uncomfortable, and thinks you are some sort of fanatic!
My brother (the one who is a priest) has been visiting the last 10 days and we have gone many places together and one thing I really noticed is that where ever we go someone comes up to him and asks for some sort of help, it is like he is their connection to God .
There are so many people in all kinds of different pain. When I mentioned this to him and told him that people see him as Jesus' representative and that they felt he could help them he told me that he is just the receptionist and Jesus is the doctor.
After reading this blog I realize we can all be Jesus' receptionists. With the collar that my brother wears he stands out more as a beacon to people but we can help be out there helping.
thanks again for your friendship, I value your faith, it is an inspiration and helps to strengthen mine.....Love Sarah
Praying for you all,
Love, Carolyn B
Dear Williamson Family,
Just wanted to drop a short note to let you know we are still here and praying. Though I can never comprehend the frustration and personal pain you all must feel (nor do I ever want to understand), know that you have ministered to hundreds of hearts the love of our savior. It seems like even in the darkest of days on this journey you all are able to find a silver lining. I am sure God will you this in great ways. You are truly a blessing to all that happen to come upon this blog.
Sorry I mentioned in an earlier post our personal experience in a "step down" unit. It was at a different hospital in the South Bay. It is quite clear they are not all equal.
In His Glorious Grip,
The Derendinger Family
San Jose, ca
His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness,
I only have a minute this morning but wanted to check and see what the prayer needs were and I felt the Lord tugging on my heart to just write,
I was in the ICU and I am on the
10th. floor.
Romans 4:20 Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise, in fact his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God.
Williamson family, I see God being glorified in everything you are doing, keep your eyes on the Captain,
Have a Blessed Day,
Loving You and Praying in Downey
Psalm 13 ends:
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
He has been good to you. And in turn your family has been good to us. We rejoice for you and we become your ambassadors down here. Your situation is a way for us to open a dialog with people every day. I know that I share your story and it leads the conversation towards faith and hope and love...Williamson's you are a blessing to all of us.
Kathleen S.
Williamson Family,
The week of Connors accident my church in Sacramento had high schoolers, jr highers, and elementary kids there. We've been praying for Connor ever since. Just wanted you to know that if Sacramento is where God is planning to bring Connor that He has a family prepared to welcome y'all and help out in any way possible.
He's got ya covered.
Big Tex, Ree, Connor and Joelle,
As they used to CONSTANTLY tell me at work, "When you're dealing with someone who you know is evil, DON'T FORGET WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW". You know God is good, you know He loves you, you know this is all happening for His reasons, don't let the evil one persuade you otherwise. Easy for ME to say, I know.... understandably harder for you to maintain. But please don't forget what you already know. He loves you, and so do we. And we pray He will strengthen you against every attack, large or small. You've already withstood so much that it's incredible. Hold Fast . As the book of James said (paraphrasing), He has found you worthy of this challenge. And James suggested we take delight in our suffering , as God has judged you fit for the task and journey at hand. Hold Fast. You are not alone.
With love and prayer,
Fuzzy
Eric...hang in there...think about things this way...GOD'S PLAN.
You all feel that your Home is HOME; maybe God feels differently...is HE, in fact, answering prayers by having Conner close to home...Fresno? We all keep praying to get Conner close to home...is Fresno where Conner receives the best care? Is Fresno a new home for a while? Just look at the missionary you and your family have been over the last months right there in Fresno, and all over the world!!!
Eric, your ministry is shining so vividly through this ordeal! You have such an incredible way of ministering to people...including myself. God is SPEAKING MIGHTILY TO YOU and THROUGH YOU! I feel it in my very bones; it is one of the most amazing works of God I have seen in my lifetime.
You mentioned earlier, several posts back, about not focusing on self...CLOSE YOUR EYES...LISTEN TO WHAT GOD IS TELLING YOU.
I love you Eric...God's plan is not always our plan...let go of personal wants and focus on His desires; it will be an incredible ride!!!!!!!!!!!! You have all the strength and ability you need; let GOD WORK!
Love you so much; only wish I could be there personally to through my arms around you and cry for a while; Lord knows I've done enough of it here!
Love,
Evalena
I really can spell...throw...not through! Oops!
Care Meridian was clearly not the place for Connor.
Remember when Paul "came to the border of Mysia, why tried t enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision"
After Paul had seen the vison, we got ready to leave for Macedonia concluding tha God had called us to preach the Gospel to them. Acts 16:7-10.
Trusting that God will provide a place that will assist Connor in his total recovery!
Love, and Prayers,
Sally Wrye
A few blogs back, there was talk about finding new people to minister to....God found them for you, right there on the 10th floor. It's a tougher place. God knows that's where the need is. God knows The Williamsons are up for the challenge. Look at how far you've come in two months! Look at those red clusters on the ConnorPrayerMap. Change is painful, but God is certain that you will be successful. Just another way to look at things.....
Just know we are all behind you and will continue to pray for your comfort, strength, peace and healing.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home