Day 56 - August 10 - Oppression
It's 10 PM, and Joélle and I are in Morgan HIll. Cherié and Granny just got back to the RV after a pretty good day in many senses and not so good in others.
Connor is facing a huge battle right now - despair. He won't eat; he doesn't interact; and he isn't trying. It almost seems as if he's given up, which seems impossible for him, but this afternoon he scared me. Even though he involuntarily moved his torso while I was trying to scratch his back, he wouldn't try to do it again when I asked him to. I don't know how to help him through this - all the scripture, all the prayer, and all the effort and comfort and encouraging words we can muster seem to fall empty to the floor before they help him. The only thing that seemed to help him today was the time he got to spend with his friends. He first had one buddy come by and visit for a few minutes, and then later this afternoon three guys came by with a guitar right as Joélle and I were leaving. They must have sweet-talked the nurses, because they sat in Connor's room for three hours, playing the guitar and singing with Connor, worshiping the Lord together without pause. Cherié says this really lifted him, but then he slowly drifted downward after they left.
Please pray for his uplifted spirit, that God would grant him hope and strong faith, and that he would find comfort in God's presence and Word. Pray for us, that we would have the wisdom to know what to say and when to say it. Please pray that God would not tarry in His healing, but that He would see fit to move in Connor's body and restore it.
I titled this post "Oppression" because it's what I feel Connor is facing, Joélle and I faced it when we got home tonight, and it seems to be a persistent theme over the last few weeks. Please continue to pray for our spiritual protection, that all of us would be granted the "peace that passes understanding" as we strive to confidently rely on God's provision and timing.
posted by Eric Williamson @ 10:00 PM
25 Comments
Links to this post
25 Comments:
We are praying right now...that Connor would be lifted out of the despair and be set back up. Jesus, I pray for Your protection and peace on the whole family. May they feel your love and strength and hope as they are renewed by rest tonight. Bring around Connor and everyone the friends/staff/strangers to show Your love and continued presence.
We love you--
Kristie and Wade
Dear Lord Jesus I lift up the williamson family and especially Connor to you this night, that You would be in his midst and he would know You are there. Lord I pray that you would comfort Connor and speak life to Connor through your servants in and around this hospital bed. Lord I pray that You would grant wisdom and peace to Eric, Cherie and Joelle. Lord I pray that the sadness would be pulled back like the ocean tide and the depression that wants to take hold would give way to the washing over of Your Spirit which is poured out for all of us. Lord I pray for deep rest tonight for the whole family followed by a brilliant dawn. Thank you for Your love for us which is unchanging and unmerited.
Is there someone at the hospital that Connor could minister to, whose needs are as grave as his own? Sometimes it helps to remember that we always have something to contribute and we are needed. Maybe it's really hard for him to be on the receiving end so much...
Connor, there is a prayer on my lips for you many, many, many times a day--and I know that He hears.
Carolyn A.
Connor, we love you. Some of us don't know you personally, but we still love you.
We pray hard that your depression be lifted. Hang in there, keep praying and singing and trusting. This will pass, and it will also probably come around again. Ups and down moods...it's part of life for everyone. We know it's extremely hard for you!! We are in awe at how you've survived and how you keep moving forward...
Listen to your family, listen to your body, it's healing and those damaged cells take time to re-grow....listen to Jesus working through you!! He loves you, He will not abandon you! Neither will your world-wide prayer chain!
Please Lord, bring on another healing day of hope and faith tomorrow for the Williamson family.
Loving Lord Jesus, comfort Connor as he sleeps and speak to him in his dreams. Lift the cloud of darkness that would steal his blessings away.
As we pray, asking for perfect healing for his body, please Lord, heal his spirit and fill him with joy.
We know that happiness is temporal and dependent on the situation while joy - true joy - comes from You Lord and can not be affected by the situation.
"Joy, joy, wonderful joy coming down from the Father above..."
Please wrap Connor and the entire Willamson family in Your love and cover them with the Blood of Jesus - body, mind, spirit and soul. Keep them from all harm and may they rest safely in You.
Amen
Our prayers are with you as we read Connor's blog several times a day. Asking God's perfect will be done here as it is in heaven.
No fear.
Praise you blessed Jesus for all you are doing, have done and will do.
Good night.
~ Shayne Barker, Hollister
bringing you all before the throne of God this am.
touching Heaven with you.
Michelle West
We continue to lift Connor & family up to the Lord for restoration. May you find encouragement in these words today.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say again,Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & you minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:4-7
God has a great work for you. ...
"being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil.1:3b
Blessings to You this day!
In His Grace,
Kathy C. MH
Praying for Connor.
Just a couple of verses.....
"And when we cried unto the LORD God of our fathers, the LORD heard our voice, and looked on our affliction, and our labour, and our oppression" Deut. 26:7
"Deliver me from the oppression of man: so will I keep thy precepts." Ps. 119:134
"In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.' Is. 54:14
Blessings,
Carolyn Brogan
“God’s grace means that I can rest assured that I’ll have everything I need to be what he wants me to be and to do what he wants me to do in the situation in which he’s placed me.
Connor, may you sense God's grace today.
Connor, you are a beloved child of God and at this time in your recovery, His love is your strength and your shield. So lean on Him because God's plan will be made perfect for you. But it will come in His time.
Work with your doctors and nurses Connor and keep your chin up!
We lift you in prayer constantly and send you our respect and love.
MT
C'ville
Dear Williamson Family,
Grieving can be a tricky process. We each in our own way have to grieve our losses (temporary or long term) Our emotions can take us places others can not understand. I can not even imagine how it feels to watch people come and go as Connor has had to do. He has amazing strength, and we can pray for you Connor and know that this is a temporary thing. Perhaps your way of being still and listening to God. I heard in an interview the other day from a throat cancer surviver that is recovery of having to NOT speak was his greatest time of learning to really listen. To be still before God and "really" listen can be powerful.
As Monday hit's and we all start another week, I pray my family will take a moment to just listen without words and hear what Connor hears. To spend an hour or two with no words I think we will all get a glimpse of what Connor feels.
For the dear Mama...my heart aches only a fraction of what you are feeling. I do send many prayers and will continue to spend my "night waking" hours praying for you as we Mama's truly ache when our babies are not well both in heart and body. I know this is a difficult time. There are mothers around the world lifting you in prayer and Dad's who also feel Eric's pain as it is SO hard to be away from everyone.
May God bring just the right people into your day as you all are in different locations and needing many different kinds of comfort. I pray you can chat often and do remember you have an army world wide of prayer warriors for each one of you. (Connor, Joelle, Eric, Cherie)We lift you up to the GREAT healer of all things.
Amy Myers
Morgan Hill
Is there any way at all that Connor, while in his bed, could be wheeled outside for a little bit? I keep thinking about how he thought going to get the CT scan was fun because it got him away from the walls of his room. Just the littlest bit of fresh air might help. I know this probably isn't possible and I'm sure if it were, you all would have thought of it by now, but it is on my heart to ask anyway. I am praying and petitioning God to lift Connor out of this despair.
With love in Christ,
Claudia Rizzi
Norco, CA
We hold you up in prayer..May God surround you with His presence and give you a reminder today that He is with you..Our hearts are so achy for you and we are praying..
With lots of love and prayer,
The MacPhail Family
(Eric - please pass this on if you feel it is appropriate.)
Connor - I'll bet you can't memorize Psalm 103 - word and punctuation perfect - in less than a week. Loser buys Jamba Juice.
Your brother in the battle,
Lee
In agreement with Amy,
Psalm 143:1, "O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief." (NIV)
Lamentations 3:55-57, "I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: 'Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.' You came near when I called you, and you said, 'Do not fear.'" (NIV)
I like the idea of getting Connor outside those 4 walls if possible.
Loveing you and praying, in Downey
"How precious are your thoughts of Connor, O God. They cannot be numbered! That can never be counted; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when he wakes, you are still with him." Ps. 139:17
Precious Father, Mighty God, All-powerful, All-Knowing, I ask Your favor on Connor today and give him unspeakable joy. Lord this is so difficult for him. May He sense Your precious love all around him. Please Father God, I ask in the Amazing Healing name of Jesus, hear our cries, and give Connor movement and feeling again. Comfort him and ease the burdens he is carrying. The selfish nature in all of us are begging for the outward signs of healing to be seen. I trust You, I believe You, and I believe that You will restore his health. Father God, he is Yours, what an awesome testimony he has for You and what an awesome platform he has in which to tell of Your mercy and grace to others. So much glory has been given You through this, heal Your baby and give him the words to prophesy in Your name to others. Bind up the enemy who seeks who he may devour and place Your spiritual armor on Connor. Protect his thoughts and lift this depression. In Your great and mighty name I ask these things,Amen
I came to the site this morning after I came across a verse:
James 5:15 ...and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up....
and also 1 John 5:14-15 And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.
I almost didn't post because of the blog saying Connor is depressed, I thought a better verse would be one about joyfulness or something. But these are the verses I read this morning, and I immediately wanted to pass them on. Don't give up Connor!
I am praying for your spirit to be uplifted.
Hey Family,
Never letting a day go by without lifting you all up in prayer. Many times I typed up somthing to post then end up not sending it because by the time I read it and re-read it, I think the other comments are good or what I had to say was just too small. So, I figured I just wrtie this. :) I sure would like to give Connor and you all a great big hug. I love you guys and I miss you.
Love,
D.Serio in San Jose
Darcy from Morgan Hill
Hi Connor! You don't know me, but we have friends in common. Eric and Cody are friends of my daughter, Kendal, from Live Oak HS. You are on our prayer chain at the MH United Methodist Church and I am friends with Bonnie and Nick Campos. There, now we are not strangers! Anyway, please, please don't give in to depression. Trust that you will recover. You are so loved and everyone wants so much for you to come back over the mountain to this little valley! I have a redhead (Kendal) like you and I know redheads are spunky, even in the face of extreme circumstances. Keep the faith because we are praying for you too. I visit your website every few days and am encouraged by what is going on. God Bless!
Hi Cheri, I am praying that Connor sees the light again, has faith that he will again walk and have a good life. I miss you and hope that I can come visit soon, please let me know when it would be best time to do so. Try showing Connor the map cluster again so he can see how many people all over the world are fighting for him, he just can't give up, we all will NOT let him, so tell him that. Love you girl, god bless you and your family and esp. Connor. Hope to talk soon....xxoo Sara
From one wounded warrior to another.
Conner, my physical wounds from the war healed easily,leaving little indication of the trauma I endured.The spiritual wounds lasted over 20 yrs. leaving a mark on many other people around me,including a failed first marraige. Drugs and depression followed.Difficulty hanging on to a job for more than 5 years at a time.
Occasional thoughts of ending it all.There, I just said it in print.
Even after finding the Lord and asking Him into my heart,the depression continued.
Until a few good men gathered around me,lifted me and dropped me face first at the Throne of Grace did I understand that God is so much larger than I was willing to accept.Your dad was one of those men.To this day,I thank God that He caused our paths to cross.
My prayer is that your heart will continue to remain open to Gods plan for you. He worked a miracle in me and He will you.It may have taken over 20 years for the results to become fully understood,but He is in control of the timing,not me.
Hold Fast.
Mark
Modesto
"... He is in control of the timing..."
Amen, Mark! I'm sure it took a lot to put all of that out there for the world to read - I'm sure Connor will appreciate that!
Lee
Precious Family,
OK...now we all know how Eric feels...having no post to read today can either mean two things....a quiet day at the Hospital, or Connor needing you SO bad that you have not had a chance to update all of us. We do hate to be nosey....BUT we do love to hear how you all are doing.
Do tap an update when you have a moment to breath so we can know what to pray for and that you all are still "hanging on for dear life". Yes, we know baby steps...but oh how we love to pray for you all and be on the front lines with you.
Hope Connors day was a bit better, perhaps a window of sunshine for all of you here in Morgan Hill, Fresno, and all the relatives Back East. It is a bit selfish I suppose how we all have now "pushed" our way into your family and look for updates.
You are loved, worried about, and prayed over hourly!
Myers Family
Morgan Hill
I have never been in Connor's physical position but I have battled depression and it is a battle. I found it impossible to pray or even hear God's voice. this where everyone else's prayers REALLY help. God is carrying Connor.
Several things also helped me through this time. I would set up three very small goals for myself to accomplish every day. For Connor it might be the challenge of memorizing the suggested bible verse, drinking a Jamba Juice, eating a small snack. Write the goals down and check each one off as it is completed. You have to get creative in breaking down small manageable goals that allow for seeing and eventually feeling progress. Maybe think of a goal that would give Connor a sense of control of his life while he struggles with his desire for physical control. I hope this makes sense! while this did not cure my depression it certainly helped.
I also think Connor's gurney ride and having fun seeing other areas says alot. I also realize that it is difficult to remedy the situation. Being outside does produce needed vitamins, from the sun. You get energized. You've probably heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I've struggled with it when we have long bouts of rain. This can also happen when you are confined inside. There are lights that will produce the same positive effects of the sun.
Counseling also helped. Is a Christian counselor, with experience in working with people in Connor's situation, available?
Finally, I know you have tried to avoid medication. I tried EVERYTHING positive to avoid the "happy" pills and was still overwhelmed by depression. When faced with the question, "If you were diabetic would you take insulin?" Of course, I answered yes. My body wasn't regulating the chemicals I needed to recover from depression. I felt meds were my last hope. The pills really aren't "happy pills" but they do lift the burden of depression so that you can work with life. Most people do not need to continue on medication but if they do it's okay. I've been on Zoloft for fourteen years. I'm out of the "norm" but I thank God I was able to get my life back! My Miracle!
I pray for your family everyday and will especially pray for Connor in his battle with depression.
Sincerely,
Kim in Hollister
Ok...ok...I guess I was the last turnip on the truck. Just realized that I haven't been posting my ID. Well, actually I didn't have an ID to start with. I was just adding my name and state at the bottom. But I have been completely forgetting to name myself...oops. I was leaving a comment earlier and I noticed the note to not forget to post using your name. I guess this was my "Here's your sign" note, haha.
Anywho...I am always coming to the blog and keeping you all in my prayers. Be blessed and we love you all. God is our Refuge, our Ever-present Help in times of trouble. Praise the Lord!
In Him
PS How old are you Connor?
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home