Day 54 - August 8 - Answers to Prayer

Connor and I got to spend two hours together this morning in prayer and discussions about faith, and what it means in our circumstances. It was a fantastic time, and would still be going on if I hadn't gotten kicked out. Connor is getting another CT Scan right now so that the neurologists can confirm that his vertebrae are fusing correctly. They aren't looking for anything, just a follow-up (but I'm praying that the results will be even better than they think, and that they will also find encouraging signs they weren't expecting, and tell us about them).

Anyway, we started this morning praying Psalms 46, 20, 13, and 121 together, then we started talking about practical faith. We worked our way through portions of Luke 18, Matthew 8, and Hebrews 10 and 11. We had gotten to Hebrews 11:1 - "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." - and were beginning to discuss Mark 11:12-25 (with emphasis on verse 24) when I remembered that I needed to ask the nurse about the boy's white count, so we stopped and prayed. I made a conscious effort to "believe that I had already received it" while we prayed that the boy's white count would be lower than 12000, the level it had been yesterday. I have prayed in the same way before, trying to believe that I had already received it, but for the first time this morning it was different. I knew, as I prayed, without any doubt whatsoever, that this prayer had already been answered. I knew it. I didn't hope it had been answered, I knew it. Don't ask me how - it wasn't me - but I knew. No questions.

A few minutes later, the nurse came back in. As she was leaving, I asked "What was his white count this morning?"(and for the first time I wasn't hoping for the right answer inside my head, because I already knew the answer - not the exact number, but rather a certainty that the answer would mesh with what I had prayed for). She responded "I don't remember exactly, but it was lower - like 10-something". I looked at Connor. He looked at me. Both our eyebrows went up.

You might be inclined to say "coincidence" or "well, you had a 50/50 chance". I would respond "Not if you knew the way I knew". There is no question that God gave me that certainty about that little bit of information. Does that mean that I'm something special? No. It means that I'm trying to better understand my Lord and His scripture. We give thanks that He sees fit to give us these steps in His time.

Now the boy and I are discussing how God grows our faith from that tiny seed to the faith needed for someone to "take up his mat and walk". Right now, I feel that same questioning doubt when I pray for Connor's complete healing.

Lord, help my unbelief.