Day 36 - July 21 - The temper tantrum is over
I need to apologize for losing control of myself so badly this afternoon. There's no excuse for turning into a child again, so now I need to clarify many of the things I said in the "Praise the Lord" post.
First, I have absolutely no idea what the spiritual status of anybody else is, including those fortunate souls I alluded to who have been recovering here at the hospital. For all I know, they may be secure in their relationship with Jesus Christ - I inappropriately used them as catch-all's for my frustration without justification or any actual thought process.
Second, nobody here at the hospital offended me with anything they said - all my emotions are poured out towards God, not any human. If you're reading this, please don't think I am upset at anyone here. I failed to recognize that blogging in such a manner can lead to misunderstandings. Please accept my apology.
Third, I need to say in public what an incredible blessing certain members of the staff here have been to us. I know I can't (and won't) mention names, but I hope and pray that you each catch a small glimpse of the gratitude Cherié, Joélle, the grammas and I feel for your ministrations and caring; not just for Connor but for all of us.
I can't, and won't, take back my perplexity regarding why bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. I've been reminded, as I prayed this evening, that in the big scheme of things there's really no such thing as "bad" or "good" people - only people who have been redeemed by Christ, or not. I don't get to understand any "why's" - I just wish I could quit asking the question in the first place.
My wife, by the way, continues to be the greatest blessing I could ever hope for. Please pray for her, that she would have the patience and perseverance to continue to deal with me as we walk this road together. She needs all the help she can get.
We love y'all. Thanks so much for all you're doing for us.
Good night.
Oh, yeah! Connor is tucked safely away for the night, sleeping soundly the last we saw. His numbers look good, and those who are watching over him are blessings to us. May God bless them for their care.
posted by Cherié Williamson @ 10:28 PM
12 Comments
Links to this post
12 Comments:
Sleep well, friends. Our prayers continue through the night.
Silky
Hello Williamson Family,
My family has been following Connor's story since the first week as some friends go to West Hills and told us about it. We pray and check in several times a day for updates. We have been deeply moved by the tremendous stresses and pressures that you are all under in your different roles while still seeking to glorify God. This post got to me in that we as humans have very real emotions and questions and we are not always going to be seeing things in the right perspective......and that's okay!!! You are in a very long and arduous process/journey and even from the blog's heading, it states that this is a place to share the fears and sorrows and true emotions/thoughts that people are going thru whether or not they are "theologically correct." Please don't beat yourself up over being real. You are hurting and anyone who is involved whether staff, family or friends should understand that it is not a personal attack on them, but an outpouring of the anguish you are going thru. We will continue to pray for all of you.
Eric - thank you for being so beautifully human...thank you for sharing your heart with the world...no apologies necessary!
We would probably all be feeling the roller coaster of emotions you are if we were in your shoes...thank you for letting us hold your hand and hold you up to the Lord. Thank you for letting us complete strangers become a part of your family through this website. Thank you for letting us wait with you for God's plan to be revealed.
We will be praying for all of you without fail.
I spent the weekend in L.A., and told my family about Connor. More prayer warriors are on board in So Cal!
Eric,
The blog sub header says that Connor must go where few have gone before. Well...you're on this journey too so that means you're going where few have gone before. And we will journey with you and your family as you journey with Connor. Please remember that if you stumble along the way (and you probably define "stumble" a little more harshly than the rest of us) we'll still be out here praying.
The Duarte's
For over 16 months we have been interceding in prayer (along with 700+ others)for a 16 year old young man fighting for his life to over come 4th stage
RHABDOMYOSCARCOMA.
He had it nearly beaten with God, chemo and radiation when this monster attacked his brain (very rare with this type of cancer)with a huge tumor that grew twice it's original size in 7 days. He had a seizure and significent brain bleed, and major brain surgery that removed 80% of the tumor. He had a stroke in the O.R. sometime during the surgery.
He is working very hard at trying to walk and talk and doing remarkably well. He is at the 1/2 way point with his latest round of radiation.
All through this God has performed dozens and dozens of miracles.
This is a loving, Christian family who are getting through this with grace, trusting totally in God for every thing.
As we continue on this journey of intercessory prayer for him and Connor, we KNOW God will do for these young men His very, very best, according to His perfect will.
He created them and gave His Son to die for them. He will have victory for them both.
God bless.
~SRB, Hollister
Loving you and praying for your broken hearts...stand tall and firm in your beliefs...God will sustain you even when you are weak.
Love you,
Evalena
A co-worker gave this to me the other day as I was suffering from the loss of a friend here at work. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. As I read it today, I can only think of you and your family...
Hang It On The Cross
If you have a secret sorrow,
a burden or a loss,
An aching need for healing...
Hang It On The Cross.
If worry steals your sleep
and makes you turn and toss,
If your heart is feeling heavy...
Hang It On The Cross.
Every obstacle to faith
or doubt you come across,
Every prayer unanswered...
Hang It On The Cross.
For Christ has borne
our brokenness
and dearly paid the cost
To turn our trials to triumph...
Hanging On The Cross.
---Lisa O. Engelhardt
Eric,
You have such eloquence when you throw a tantrum. At day 36, I would not be so eloquent.
After reading your blog, I prayed God reveal a soothing message. Through tear filled eyes, I opened a daily devotional from Purpose Driven Life and to make it short the title was: "God's Spirit is Working in You". I thought of Connor. One of the sentences was:
The Bible says, “As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more” (2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT). This process of changing us to be more like Jesus is called sanctification.
When Connor said he wants to stand and tell about God, the Holy Spirit is woking in him.
You and Cherie are so blessed to have such a young man of God.
We love you and continually pray for you all.
The Brogan's
Eric, Cherie, Connor and Joelle,
As a sit here reading this and the previous post, weeping, I am hearing my 12-year-old son upstairs playing guitar and singing "Your Grace is Enough"
"Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart
So remember Your people
Remeber Your children
Remeber Your promise Oh God
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me
Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along
Chorus"
We know His grace IS enough, but what about when it doesn't feel like it? My parent's heart breaks for you everyday as I (and our whole family) prays for complete restoration to Connor. Give yourself a break in your humaness and look how God used that.
As I continued to get updated this morning (Tuesday), my son plays "Mighty to Save".
"Everyone needs compassion
Love That's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Chorus
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty so save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine You light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King"
Praise God that he takes us as he finds us and restores us! We continue to pray for all of you, that God will restore Connor completely and that He will encourage you along the journey and give you the strength you need to move forward.
The McMahel's
Mt Juliet, TN
Provision. Somehow Abraham knew God's character so well that even when he was asked to do the unspeakable he knew that God, his provider, had a plan and that plan included his son Isaac and he knew God's character. That God and God alone can see our future and when we struggle with what that future might be we are simultaneously struggling with who we think God is. Brother, all I can say is that I struggle too, and so do so many people who read this blog. Let us meditate today on who we know He is and His character and I pray that His peace and presence will be wrapped around you in such a way that regardless of what happens today or what doesn't happen His peace will abound in you, Cherie, Joelle and Connor. Remember who He is and remember that 1 day in His court is better than 10000 elsewhere. I'm not talking about a day in the future when we are in heaven, but a day here in the midst of trials, like Paul, knowing that I can have access to His love and presence and when I do it doesn't matter what my circumstance in the world is because when I am in His presence I am in Him. I pray for a day like that for all of us, a day in His court!
Eric and Cherie,
No apology is necessary. It's an odd thing that our minds torture us in this way that we keep trying to make sense of pain. It just hurts, and this is all we know. In periods of intense pain I have found God somehow "in the midst" of my suffering. It is not something I can explain. But I did find it a very intimate time with God. It did not take away the questions or the pain or the desperation. It just seemed to be a reality that co-existed with the pain. At least at times. I'm sure you are all aware of this "in the midst of" presence of our Maker. And I've found there seems to be no "us and them" category when it comes to pain. All God's children seem to be candidates for it, with or without the specific knowledge of Christ. Perhaps we can be comforted in a unique by the knowledge of the understanding of our Big Brother Christ, and the promise of His presence. This and this alone is what we are promised. Beyond that it just hurts.
I love you all. We love you and hurt with you and feel with you. Please be where you are at. No need to other than honest with your sisters and brothers and your Maker.
Joya
Dear Williamson Family,
I just wanted to let y'all know that my 9-year-old son and I pray for your family every day. We found out about your story through the Air Force Base here in Spokane and also someone at my church put Connor on our prayer list. What a small world! I am so inspired by Connor's quiet strength and your family's perserverance throughout this ordeal. Our family will continue to pray for your family and I know that the Lord our God has a perfect plan for Connor. Please let him know that my son is praying for the best for him and that he is an inspiration for us all. Take care of each other.
The Scott Family
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home