Day 31 - July 16 - Meeting Results
Again, the meeting went just as I expected (Joélle is right - I do sound like Eeyore). The doctor and case worker have told us we need to be prepared to answer the question about whether we are going to try to provide 24 hour awake care at our house, or whether we are going to put Connor in long-term care somewhere.
How do you make that choice? It seems impossible that we could either provide or afford 24 hour care, and it seems equally impossible to even consider locking the boy into a room somewhere forever. They offer no option for rehab, because they believe it to be pointless. The best place they can offer is Valley, and all Valley will provide is training for us to care for Connor, not rehabilitation. So what decision do I make?
Cherié is wrestling with anger that his neck wasn't set immediately. Joélle is frustrated with me because she thinks I'm giving up, and to be honest, I feel like it sometimes. I can't seem to help either of them without upsetting them. The gramma's are trying to help in whatever way they can. And I'm trying to figure out how God can bring glory to Himself by locking my son inside his own head with no way out for the rest of his life.
And all the while, Connor is better than he was - but he still doesn't breathe on his own, and the doctors all say that if he had the capability, it would show up on the monitors. It isn't. It seems like he's just getting well enough to be locked inside his head for the rest of his life.
Our dilemma is that we don't want, or even know how, to plan for such things and also hold onto our hope for something else. Cherié says that it's like planning to turn right even though the warning sign says "left turn ahead". We need some help pretty quick in this department.
posted by Eric Williamson @ 1:03 PM
33 Comments
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33 Comments:
We are praying and praying and praying for you...we just knnow that God has a plan...and just hope he reveals it soon.
Thank you SO much for sharing with us the results of this meeting so we can pound on God'd door even harder.
It is obvious by all of the answers to prayer already, the people that have been touched by Connor's life already, those that have been touched by your witness at the hospital, and just because God is who he is; that he God will complete the work he has begun in Connor and in you.
We love you guys more than you could imagine and hurt with you and will keep praying.
The Slagles
Ok, world full of prayer warriors who are on this chain.....We span the globe! There are many more medical minds out there, and ways to look at a situation.
If I were Eric and Cherie, I would be asking for second and third opinions on Connor's options. Fresno and Valley Med are not the only care centers who specialize in this kind of injury....
Does anyone out there know how to get him hooked up with other minds who can look at the situation and assess it?
God does not want us to give up!
We are praying for God's will, and it seems like God would want all opinions on the medical front.
Praying that someone oF us, from somewhere around this incredibly huge prayer community, with connections can step up and lead Connor to perhaps another path of healing and rehab....if it is God's will.
So many prayers have been answered so far....we are advancing!!
Keep the faith.
I will continue to pray for God's miraculous intervention and healing in this situation. We know that God can heal Connor regardless of what his current doctors say, and I will continue to pray that He does! Also know our family is praying for you all to have wisdom in decision making, knowing when to act and how, and for you all to have a peace from the Lord about the course of action He leads you to take.
Grace and peace,
Laura Slavich
Louisville, KY
I agree with other posts....MORE OPINIONS!!! Don't lock yourself into "close to home". I will do some research on this from here...
For Mom's tongue cancer...we traveled 2 1/2 hours to a doctor...it was rough but well worth it.
There has to be help out there...we have to rely on God to help us find it!
I'm searching.....
Love,
Evalena
We will continue to pray for you. I know Fresno and Valley Med are very good places, but maybe a 2nd, 3rd, etc. opinion is in the making. The turmoil you all are going through, I can't imagine but we just keep praying for you and for Brad and his family as well.
The Coleman's
Check out this site...GOD IS GOOD
http://www.spinal-cord.org/spinal-rehab-centers.htm
Another site...
http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/
My dear friends husband was injured and is a quadrapalegic. He went to Colorado for his rehabilitation & I do remember that it was known as an excellent rehab center. Please check out this link:
http://www.craighospital.org/SCI/default.asp
Eric - I hope these help... Your job is to trust (no matter how difficult that is), and begin down a path in light of the best information you have available + wise counsel (no matter how agonizing the choice). It seems to me that if God would then choose to move you off of that path to a better one, He can most easily do that if you're already moving... (I seem to recall a sermon by Mike which made that point long ago!)
Pr 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Pr 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.
Ps 18:29 For by You I can run against a troop, By my God I can leap over a wall. 30 As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. 31 For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? 32 It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect. 33 He makes my feet like the feet of deer, And sets me on my high places. 34 He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. 35 You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great. 36 You enlarged my path under me, So my feet did not slip.
Love and prayers,
Lee
I SECOND THAT EMOTION... Get onto the Internet and read other spinal injury stories. Spread the word to find information from the WWW and God will bring it to you.
It is to His glory that we share our trials with each other and use others' experiences and knowledge to move in His direction.
Eccl 4:10...find fellow Christians to come beside you and hold you up...We are here for you and many more are out there to help.
THERE ARE ANSWERS OUT THERE. God will direct your path to the ones He chooses for you and for Connor.
Kathleen
Morgan Hill
It's frustrating to hear that the medical gurus there seem to be "giving up" on Connor, or else giving very little hope. I researched the Christopher Reeve website and found this statement:
"The scientific literature on spinal cord injury predicts that most recovery will occur in the first six months after injury and that it is generally complete within two years. Reeve’s recovery, coming five to seven years after his injury, defies these medical expectations and had a dramatic effect on his daily life."
Why are the doctors unable to work with Connor for at least the first six months, as outlined above??? How can they be sure he is unable to be healed? WE KNOW THAT GOD CAN HEAL, and the human cells and systems that were significantly damaged need to restructure themselves....Connor can "defy medical expectations" with the help of his God.....
There is definitely hope. Keep seeking it! Keep praying for it!
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so hat we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort, too. if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is fo your comfort, whichyou experience when you patiently endure the same sfferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you hare in our sufferings, ou will also share in our comfort." 2 Cor. 1:3-7 "Indeed we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to makeus rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." 2Cor. 1:9
Father, we thank You for being the God of all comfort and raise the Williamsons to You and ask that You hold them close so that they feel Your comfort and loving care. Thank You that You strengthen us to unshakeable hope. Lord, we do trust in You. We pray that You would supernaturally provide complete and miraculous healing to Connor, in the name of Jesus Christ. That You would move Your healing hand over his body and restore him to health. We ask that You continue to strengthen his family. We know all wisdom comes from You and we ask that You would impart it abundantly to Cherie and Eric as they are called to make big decisions right now. We pray that You would comfort them in their suffering. Lord we trust You completely and praise You that we "have set our hope on him and that he will deliver us again!" Lord, we ask a blessing over this family....and we ask it in Jesus' precious name....Amen.
Eric, Cherie, Connor, and Joelle,
You are in our hearts and prayers every day, although you don't know us! I want to let you know that even the most brilliant neurosurgeon in the world cannot "predict" at this point how Connor will do! There are no two spinal cord injuries exactly alike and they cannot deny Connor rehabilitation. (I'm an occupational therapist)..
They may seem like they "know" what they're talking about, but I have seen so many people defy "what they said". Do not lose heart!!
Standing with you in Him,
Kathleen for the Froess family
Praying, praying, and praying harder right now
Jilly wrote: "Indeed we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to makeus rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." 2Cor. 1:9
Amen to that, sister! Precious words from a precious child of God.
MH
We know that His power is made perfect in our weakness. Let the doctors admit defeat, scratch their heads, and say they've done all they can do; be grateful for all of their efforts and praise and thank God for sustaining him thus far. Then stand back, because if the Lord wills it, He will do what they cannot. Praying along with my brothers and sisters in Christ...
iamjustone
Dear Family,
I'm sure that the frustration, sadness, anger, and confusion I feel right now is only the teeniest, tiniest fraction of what you must be feeling, but it's almost unbearable. I don't understand why the doctors are not holding out more hope. As you've reported, Connor IS beginning to have feelings and sensations that he didn't have before. He IS improving. I've done a little research and it's far too soon for the doctors to be saying that Connor's recovery is complete. I see your dilemma, though, that the doctors there are only offering you two options. I agree that a second and third opinion are in order. I'm so sorry for this added stress and heartache. I'm praying wholeheartedly for divine intervention in Connor's recovery and for new options for rehab to open up. No matter what the doctors say, we will NOT give up so easily. God is the Great Physician. I cannot and will not believe He is finished here.
Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
May you hold on to hope.
I love you all,
Tonya
Lifting you up in prayer right now. I can only echo the many words of comfort that you have already received. Walk the path that is laid before you. God will direct it to where he wants you to go.
Love to each of you, Gramma's included!
Oh how I can relate to what you're going through. I wish that I couldn't, but I can. 16 years ago we were also faced with a terrible decision. After being revived from a drowning we were told that our son was going to make it and that he would be going home after an extended hospital stay. After 2 1/2 weeks he took a turn for the worse and it was recommended that we remove his life support, what an awfull agonizing decision. I wish that I could say that the Lord gave us a miracle and that Trenton was healed. I can't, but what I can say is that the Lord gave us a miracle and our family survived. I can look back and see that through it all God was faithful.
One thing that I did learn was that God allows His children to suffer so that other children come to know Him. I wanted to scream out that we shouldn't have to suffer, that everyone already had their chance to know Him. It came to me that I would also let one of my children suffer (as in going through the pain of donating a kidney)to save one of my other children. God let His son suffer & die to save me, and He will let me suffer to save someone for eternity.
I'm not try to be a downer. God can heal, and He still does. All hope is not gone. He can still bring healing. If He chooses not to He has promised to never leave you or forsake you.
As far as God being glorified through this, one thing that stuck with me during our hospital stay was that the non-christians watch us when we are suffering more than at any other time. I can tell by your posts and the other blogs that you are being a blessing and God is being glorified by your family.
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time."-Oswald Chambers
Love and Prayers from the Schultz Family. - Albany, Oregon
We have missed seeing you this week. I was up at Hartland Christian Camp as RN and came home yesterday. Now we're all heading up there again tonight to provide reinforcements because there are so many kids up there. We've continued to pray for you often and hurt with you.
From a medical perspective, if I understand Connor's situation right, they were between a rock and a hard place. Stroke with brain injury or death (because of the blood clots) or the situation he's in now. If you haven't done it yet, ask questions and find out their rationale for what they did. Then leave it in God's hands because the "what ifs" will make you crazy.
We'll see you in a couple of days and love you guys,
Kristie for the Robinsons
Praying for you all.
Is it safe to move him to Valley now?....while he is recovering, you will need to learn how to take care of him... God will take care of him, wherever you decide to move him...& He will sustain you too.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for & certain of what we do not see." Hebrew 11:1
O woman, great is your faith! Matthew 15:28
I think a lot about this story, the woman begs Jesus to heal her child. Jesus ignores her appeal, turning aside and appears to totally ignore her pleas. “He did not say a word to her” (verse 23) She insists and begs for a response. This is one persistent Mommy who does not give up, so strong is her love for her child and her belief that Jesus can heal.
So where is the compassionate Christ, the one who readily heals those in need? He acts totally different than what we expect, to prove a point. Finally, Jesus does come and heal the child. After this he turns to the woman and affirms the quality of her faith.
But now I see this story as a lesson in waiting, in not giving up, and in trusting.
What we pray for and desire does not always happen in our time frame and sometimes not with the response we expect. BUT it does happen everyday!
All of our thoughts, prayers and love are being sent your way... every minute!
Kim
Eric,
I, too, can relate to how you feel and what you're going through...Eleven years ago I went through a similar crisis with my then 12 year old son...although not paralyzed, he remains to this day in a persistent vegatative state. He is cared for at home, and requires 24 hour care, most of which is provided by his mother and sister. Caregivers fill in the gaps and also provide respite care.
Your decision on where to care for him; at home or in long term care in an agonizing one. The only option you want is the one where your son gets up off the bed and say's 'Hey Dad, let's go throw the football'. You are absolutely powerless, you would give anything to have it any other way than the way it is...
Our choice was to bring our boy home. His care consumed all of our time as well as all of our energy. Our other children's needs as well as our own, took second seat to our taking care of our son. It was the hardest thing I have ever endured in my life. Looking back, it was also the best decision I could have made, both for him, as well as for us. I lift you and your family up in prayer regarding your decision; I also pray for His peace to fill your hearts...
To His name be the glory...
I feel like that Twila Paris song where it says "I know the answers, I've given them all. But suddenly now, I feel so small." I used to sing that song and it really hits home right now. You've been given some great scriptures and thoughts in this chain of comments. As Melissa said, "I can only echo the many words of comfort that you have already received."
Praying hard for all of you rigt now. Tarah is at camp this week...she's praying from there. We love you and along with many, many others we are taking your request before the Throne of God and praying for miraculous intervention.
Sherri
Eric & Cherie, we were given the same choices for my brother Robert and we choose to take him hom e and yes it was hard but with Gods people it can be done,Robert left the Hospital as a Quad and yet he was going to ReHab and standing,Please don't get discouraged God will provide for your means,look how he has already,I would be more than willing to help out in any way once you come home.God worked a miricle in Roberts life and he is doing the same with your Family,Connor will strive so much better at home,You will be suprised that help and aide will come out of the woodworks,Our God Is A Awsome God,I will continue to pray for you all,Keep up the good fight.
Adrienne for the Haygoods
Erik, Cherie & Joelle & Family
I cry with you.
Love
Susie
I love the responses and the love that is pouring out to this beautiful family God is so good even through all this pain, when you're on the outside looking in you can see Jesus at work through all the comments the prayer and the strong faith. The family of God is the most awesome thing to be a part of, thank you family even through all of this you have brought us all together in one accord.... My thoughts.... Home Is Where The Heart Is, It's Where Family Is, It's Where Loved Ones Come To Visit And To Fellowship, Again It's Where The Heart Is:)
Don't give up, Our God has the final answer, we are all winners in Christ, To God be the glory great things He has done, Amen!
Praying, Trusting and Believing
In Downey
LORD, please bless and comfort Eric tonight in his pain...please hold him through the night and give him rest.
Please give Cherie and Joelle the rest and spiritual refreshment they need at this time. Give them all wisdom and discernment, and a clear path to what you want them to do. And, of course, continue to heal Connor and give us many more baby steps toward your perfect will.
Good night!
As a mother, if I was faced with this delimna: The doctor and case worker have told us we need to be prepared to answer the question about whether we are going to try to provide 24 hour awake care at our house, or whether we are going to put Connor in long-term care somewhere? I definitely would chose to have my child at home with me. If they offered no option for rehab because they believed it to be pointless, I would show them how that would not be true through my God. There still is a person in Connor's body, he still has feelings in his heart and no matter what, I agree with Adrienne when she said they brought her brother Robert home, don't get discouraged and with Gods help and His people, He will provide. You could see in Robert's eyes he was happy and content, even with his handicap, because he was loved! No stranger, nurse or RT will give the same love and nuturing as family can. When I say family, I mean immediate and our family in Christ! This is just my feelings and I hope I haven't offended any of you. I pray that God will reveal to you the best for Connor, your son.
Hi guys, I will do some research here as well. My stepdaughters cousin has a same type of condition and they moved him home with visiting nurses, etc. I will try and find out as much info on how this happens, expenses etc. Maybe I can find out something helpful. Don't give up Eric, things will change, you raised to strong of a son for it not too. Wishing you all Peace and Love. Talk to you soon...Love.....Sara
Williamsons,
I have been following Connor's progress. You have a choice between bringing him home or opting for long-term care. Having been there with our son Johnny (of course he was a lot smaller at the time), I would suggest bringing your son home for now. And then let the Lord lead. You will be surprised at the resources and people available to help with Connor's needs. For what it's worth...
Bill Guenther
Eric
I have been praying for Connor and you all and following the blog updates since we met in the hospital in Fresno a few weeks after the accident.
I don't know all the details of the decision you're making but wanted to let you know of two places that have been providing hope and help for the student injured at Hume last year.
Shriners Hospital www.shrinershq.org/hospitals/northern_california/ in Sacramento has provided tremendous rehab support, surgeries, and care free of charge when insurance funds had run out.
Project Walk www.projectwalk.org had a center here in Portland that has been providing progressive rehab for the spinal injury. Their main facility is located in San Diego.
These places may offer assistance presently or more down the road.
We up here will be praying fervently for Connor to be able to breath on his own and get off the ventilator soon. And we'll pray for wisdom as you make these decisions.
In his hands!
Kirk Petersen
Portland, OR
Ok, I am really confused. I am a C-6 SCI and I was at Valley Med with patients that had higher injury levels than mine. They did rehab! They are also affiliated with Stanford University. This is one of the top rehab facilities in the nation. Please look at this site and give them a call. They have truly been a blessing to me and my family. http://www.tbi-sci.org or www.scvmed.org.
My Family is standing in the gap and are available to you at anytime.
Jessica Runnels C-6 SCI
Martha Runnels
925-625-5817
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