Day 21 - July 6 - Communion when you're angry
Connor is sleeping right now. His temperature is normal, and his white blood count is back down to normal levels. Thank you, Lord, for answering these prayers. Please hear the cry of our hearts.
This afternoon, a number of friends came by (thank you all!!!), and one of them brought the elements for communion. She asked if we wanted to have communion. My first inclination was to say "no" - I didn't think I could approach it with the right spirit and intentions. Cherié had other ideas, however, so she grabbed a songbook, another friend grabbed a Bible, and an impromptu church service began. I didn't really feel up to the personal introspection involved, but I bowed my head and tried to get myself into the right frame of mind.
As our friend read, I prayed. If you want to take communion, but you have something between you and a brother, you're supposed to clear it up before you take the communion, right? Well, there's something between me and God, so I went to Him. I confessed my anger at Him for what's going on with my son. I told Him how His actions have offended me, if you can conceive of a human doing such a thing. I prayed and said that my heart wasn't right to take communion.
You know what? I was reminded that I don't really have any business questioning God's actions (surprise, surprise). I was also reminded, ever so gently, that I wasn't the only father in our conversation to have a son suffer. And I remembered that the first Son had to suffer for the two of us to even be having this conversation about the second son.
He was right. I ended up taking communion.
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posted by Eric Williamson @ 9:21 PM
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11 Comments:
Eric, I love your honesty so much. Thank you for sharing both your honest feelings and the Lords response. What a reminder!! We all needed that!!!
In the Psalms, David in many places regurgitates his true feelings and the Lord seemed to handle this well; and I do think this is an example to us, that we should feel free to do the same, and especially since he already knows, right?
Prayers are with you and with Connor. Please greet him for me, for Raquel, and for Josh and David when you go in to see him, and let him know that even though he is out of sight, he is never our of our minds.
Planes near boarding. I'll be in touch from Manila.
Eric I thank you so much for taking the time to write daily. I am inspired by your words and look forward to reading them daily. I have no idea what you do for a living, but am wowed by the words He gives you daily to write and certainly feel your words should be published for all to read. The prayers are there for all of you as we are encouraged in our own lives through you and Connor.
-Morgan Hill family
Dear brother in Christ,
God our Father has an amazing and perfect love. Once when I watched my son go through extreme suffering, the Holy Spirit reminded me, too, of God watching his innocent Son suffer. I would've done anything to stop my son and save him. Feeling powerless (and angry!) in my flesh to help my son, I was reminded of God's power...how He could have stopped Christ's suffering and come up with a plan B perhaps. Send down some angels...disintegrate the nails...and yet he loved. Why? For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son...so that whosever would believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Said that verse lots of times, but truly a love so great to give His child is huge. That's how much God loves you...that's how much God loves Connor. Praying for your courageous family to find peace in God's great love and asking God to help with his unlimited power.
-Marvilyn in Charlottesville
Texx, You continue to demonstrate your steadfast faith...one of Conner's strongest warriors. You are also an inspiration.
During yesterday's service, I raised Conner's name to our congregation, so know that the Chinese Community Church of Sacramento is praying for Conner.
Prayers and strength to Conner, you, Cherie, and Joelle from the Lee family.
Eric,
I have been there myself with way smaller incindental issues and have struggled with "Communion" and have never looked at it in a way you have explained it.
Your ability to share your thoughts and feelings really hits home. Thank you for sharing. Your ability with words and with all the recordings since day one, I am sure God has a plan for you or Connor to write a book about this for His Glory!
Praise God for Connor's temperature & blood count, another prayer answered.
Love, Carolyn
Blessings to you all this morning, Connor, Eric, Cherie, Joelle and Grandpa DJ and Grandma Sherri, we are still waiting and trusting and lifting our voices up to the Lord this morning like the widow woman again, just not giving up! This was one of my devotions this morning, I thought it was approriate for a time such as this.
Pastor Greg Laurie's Monday Devotion
When God Seems Distant
"John the Baptist, who was now in prison, heard about all the things the Messiah was doing. So he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, 'Are you really the Messiah we've been waiting for, or should we keep looking for someone else?' "
— Matthew 11:2–3
Have you ever had something happen in your life that caused you to say, "Where is God?" No less than the greatest prophet who ever lived, John the Baptist, faced this struggle.
John had put it all on the line for Jesus Christ. He had baptized Him in the Jordan River. He pointed his own disciples to Jesus, whom he believed was the Messiah. John had clearly pledged his complete loyalty to Jesus.
Yet a strange series of events took place after that. One moment, he was out preaching to the multitudes and baptizing people. The next moment, he was in prison.
The great John the Baptist began to entertain some doubt. So he sent his disciples to Jesus with this question, "Are you really the Messiah we've been waiting for, or should we keep looking for someone else?"
Jesus' disciples and John commonly believed that Jesus would establish His kingdom then and there. But they failed to recognize that before Christ would establish His kingdom, He would first come to suffer and die for the sins of humanity. John misunderstood the prophecies of Scripture, and therefore felt that Jesus was not doing what He was supposed to do.
Sometimes we, too, misunderstand God and His Word when He doesn't do what we think He should do or when He doesn't work as quickly as we would like Him to. But even when we cannot understand God's ways, His methods, or His timing, He still asks us to trust Him. And He is trustworthy.
God Bless you all this new and beautiful day!
Mr. Williamson,
When I read your posts I'm reminded of the Psalm 42, where the Psalmist preaches to himself.
"Why are you down cast, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation, and my God."
The Psalmist doesn't listen to Himself, He talks to himself, He says, "Soul, stop talking and listen to me...!" Keep it up!
Jason Trapp
(Lamentations 3:19-26)
Love you all so much...I was so restless last night; every time I rolled over I prayed for Conner. I pray today that you all have a day of rejoicing, a day of rest, a day of good news, laughter and hugs.
Love to all!
Evalena
Eric, God gave us our emotioms,I think its ok to go to God and say,"I'm hurt,I'm angry, I'm sad,I'm confused". I'ts not like He doesn't know anyway.The important thing is to vent, get it out and then get right with God which is exactly what you did. You truly are an inspiration!
You are modeling for us all the very thing God wants from all of us.
In our struggling we go to the Lord honestly. The Bible says a lot of "hard stuff" to us, and you are living it out........Thanks for sharing.
Bonnie
I know it is ok for our angry emotions. I went through that myself in circumstances in my life. God totally understands. We can't hide them from him anyway, better to get them out and move forward.
God is walking you through moment by moment.
Hold fast and get rest when you get the opportunity.
Your friend, Barb Binette
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