Day 9 - June 24 - Surgery

Connor went into surgery this morning, being taken downstairs at 0800.  We prayed and waited throughout the morning, trusting God for His provision. Surprisingly, I am not overwhelmingly concerned with the surgery itself. God has given me confidence in His use of the surgeon's skills, knowledge, and abilities. I continue to wrestle with despair about the future, despite God's clear instruction:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:34.

About noon, the neurosurgeon came out with some X-rays.  He showed us the screws and rods that have been inserted into Connor's vertebrae, which makes the inside of his neck look like something out of The Terminator (although without the Austrian accent). The doctor then told us that the first half went very well, and that they would be starting the second half as soon as he returned to the OR. Yesterday he had said that the first part of the surgery was harder than the second, so we rest in the fact that God is providing even as we go along. The surgeon told us the second part would last about three hours, so we are waiting while I post this, eager for this step to be completed.

I have to say we're confident in the outcome of the surgery. God has laid out all the tools he needs so that He can provide for Connor's needs through the hands of men.  But I also don't want to give you the false idea that we're sitting here all smiley.  I know we keep asking for this, but please pray: 

- that God would use this surgery to set Connor on the road to recovery;

- that He would prevent any surgical complications from impacting Connor's recovery;

- that He would allow the fusion of Connor's vertebrae to cause the swelling to decrease and feeling and movement to return;

- that God would strengthen us daily to trust Him, to draw close to Him and to each other;

- and (for me), to resist the temptation to despair.  Cherié and Joélle have been gifted with the ability to see positives in so many things, while the negatives leap out at me.  This causes despair on my part, frustration for Cherié, and fear for Joélle as she sees her father so shaken.  As the person they look to for spiritual leadership and maturity, I need the resolve and fortitude, the perseverance and faith, to effectively be the man they need me to be.  I cannot do this apart from Christ, and I am appalled at my weakness.  Lord, help my unbelief!

Who says God doesn't appreciate irony? While I typed that last sentence, one of the OR nurses came out to tell us how well things were going, and how pleased the neurosurgeon is with the way things are going.  She also expressed how thankful she was to be able to do what she does. God is good to us. He remains faithful.

That reminds me - I want God to pour out His sustenance on us so that we are swimming in His provision. A friend reminded me that God only provided enough manna to the Israelites to see them through each day, in order to remind them how much they must rely on Him. So while we are stuck in the desert right now, we remember that tomorrow morning there will be another provision of manna, with the Pillar of Fire to guide us on our journey.

Baby steps to the holy land, baby steps to the holy land...